Another Day Without You

Chapter 2: Bittersweet

Ace

“It didn't have to be like this ,why did you have to fight so hard for something that doesn't even exist?"

How I wish I could punch my asshole of a mortal enemy in the face just one more time.

He got what he wanted as he draws my attention away from my angels weeping face and back to his smug mug. my oh so perfect older brother. Why dear lord do I have to die with his face so close and his never ending line of questioning. What is this an interrogation ,f**k sakes let a man die in peace already.

I should be more conscious of his feeling I guess nonetheless Matthew never understood why I changed, why I started hating the world , why I became the villain, no one ever did . Why would he , he who has everything. Honestly im too hard on him i mean for the longest time I was just as trapped as he was.

Only difference Is that my perception changed.

none of them see the truth as i do , they are all still blinded by their perfect storybook lives.

be that as it may I saw past the lies and I found my truth.

For that i have no regrets.

"YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND, WILL YOU MATTY? I scoff ,using the nickname he hates so much.

I can taste the blood as I try one last time to make him understand , to make him see!

Although i know that it’s all in vain anyway. I can feel my life slipping away with every drop of blood leaving my body. However its not fear I feel but excitement.

I was never the bad guy here Matty , you just needed me to be, you all needed me to be. You are so blinded by your greed and self hatred that you needed a scapegoat for your anger. Father always did pin us against one another and look where that has gotten us.Inspite of it all I forgive you Matty it was never really your fault anyway.

I try to say but my word fall on ears that can’t ever hear the important parts. f*****g navigator never lets me say what i need to and when she does it always comes out twisted so that they misunderstand the meaning behind my words. I learned that early on yet i still try and get the right f*****g words out. Instead all he hears is:

Read the letter in my office or don't, really it's up to you."

Fuck knows why I'm even trying to talk to Matthew when my attention Should be directed elsewhere. I guess I don’t want him to feel guilty but thats bullshit too. I’m just lying to myself still trapped in the navigators hands. Its not like I really cared much for my f****d up family anyway. Matthew is saying something, probably back to the interrogation when I hear her tears again. I can't listen to the bullshit Matthew is spewing when I only want to hear her. I try and focus on her voice but it's gone again drowned out by the sirens of an ambulance in the distance.

I know it's coming my way even so I don't want to be saved. I just want to be with my HER even though I know it's impossible, I want nothing more in this life than to be there with her. Thats why I’m in this position in the first place , thats what initiated this situation. My motivation has only been HER.

"Hold on Alexander the ambulance is almost here. KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN!" my brother shouts again. I haven’t been called that in ages,Looks like the interrogation is over for now at-least ,his focus now on more important matters such as keeping me alive.

Why doesn't he just give up?I'm long past saving anyway. I'm not his younger innocent brother anymore. I haven’t been since our mother died.

"HURRY OVER HERE!" I can hear the panic laced in his voice.Why now all of a sudden? He has never been the brother I needed him to be so why fight for my life now? When even I want nothing more than for it to finally end. I’m finally taking control of my own life by choosing my end yet He fights for a life that was lost a long time ago.

He holds his hand firmly on the bullet wound in my abdomen , a wound he himself is responsible for.

What did he think was going to happen anyway that I would just stop because he asked nicely. Who does he think he is. It must be Hero thing, when saving the world isn’t enough you try and save the broken villain too.

Redemption isn’t for everyone.

In fact its a ridiculous notion people cling onto when they realize they f****d up. I don’t seek redemption I seek death. An end to the suffering. A finality.

I feel the pressure of his hands increase as im being moved around by more hands. Stop f*****g touching me just let me die already. Then when the light slowly starts to fade and I slip into the darkness that surrounded me I hear Her again. Her voice a whisper ,a silent plea "No please, no ! it can't end like this."

Then nothing …………save one last thought.

Oh baby you have no idea what's coming for you.

Hold on, I'm on my way.