Love in Sorrow

Kabanata 2

Kabanata 2

Identification card

“Sa Viking tayo sumakay pagkatapos Rio grande prairie.”

Inaantay pa namin ma-print ang  picture na kinunan sa amin, inaamin ko masaya ako na hindi ko maipaliwanag habang kasama ang lalaking ito...was totally bizarre stranger on me.

Lihim akong napangiti ng iniabot ng staff duon ang kuha namin.“Sige ba, hanggang anong oras ba kayo dito?”

“Hanggang six pm pa naman,how about you?”

I dropped off my sight to the wrist watch.“Oh! It's two pm already we can choose rides. We are the same we need to go the bus exactly six o'clock.”

“Can I asks you something?”

Tinapunan ko iyon ng tingin.“Yeah sure.What's it?”

“Ma'am ito po ang picture niyo, ang ganda-ganda po ng mata niyo Ma'am.”the staff interrupted us,kaya napilitan akong putulin ang pag-uusap namin saka kinuha ang larawan iyon.

Napangiti ako.“Thank you. Here the payment.”

“Thanks for purchasing Ma'am.”she said  then smiled at me.

“Ano ulit ang tanong mo sa akin?”muling pagbabalik ko sa tanong na iyon.“We been talking about so many things but I didn't ask for your name.”

Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ito sa tanong niya o seseryosohin ko iyon.

“My name?Do I need to say that?”he simply answered no emotion.

We started to walk while holding the map around the enchanted to find some extremely ride, I admitted it's so fun to have fun with the strangers.

I nod.“Yes by the way my name is Avina and you are?”

“Haru. That's my name so Avina where do you want to go next?”

“Anchor away, and wheel of fate last yung Extreme tower.”

Bata pa lang ako ay mahilig akong sumakay sa extremely rides,hindi ko maintindihan mas delikado mas gustong-gusto kong gawin iyon.

Tinagilid nito ang mukha sa akin.“Mahilig ka sa extreme ride halos lahat ng sinakyan namin ay puro extremely.”

I tried to swipe it away, but he was too quick for me. They would find out sooner or later anyway,but if she did it like this, they’d all be on her side.

“I don't know when I was a kid.”I continue to spoke to him.

He chuckled as he went on. “Me either. I like the way I see the sky and never come down anymore.”

“Pakiramdam mo walang makaabot sa iyo dahil ang taas-taas mo. ”ang komento ko pa ang sarap ng pakiramdam kapag nasa mataas ka.

I just answered in the general direction it

came from, hoping to get it right. I winked, and the watching crowd chuckled.

He remained silent while waiting to our turned to the extreme ride.“We feel the same thing but we don't know how to express it.”

I took a deep breath.“Being in the cage waiting for someone to opened the lock.We build our jail for ourself,we are prisoners of our self. ”

“Poetic?”

“No,I'm not. ”

“But you are good constructing words. ”

I hissed. “Hindi kaya, they said but  I don't believe on that. ”

Ang mga bagay na iyon ang nakikita ng tao sa akin, masaya ako na kasama ko si Haru may bagay-bagay na napapagkasunduan namin gawin kagaya nito.

“Ready ka na?”tanong nito sa akin ng ini-lock ang seatbelt ng ride na ito.

Tumango ako.“Oo naman wala ka bang fear of heights?”

“Hindi.”he said simply.“It's just a ride there's no reason to be scared.”

I shrugged.“Ang tapang-tapang mo naman pala sabagay ganiyan kapag lalaki,you never scare to anything.”

Nanginginig na iniyukom ko ang sarili kamay habang papataas na ang rides na ito, pinigilan kong malula sa habang unti-unti tumataas ang ride na ito. This tower is measured ten ft,so you can see the whole enchanted kingdom with a wide smiled there.

Naramdaman kong may humawak sa kamay ko.“Your blushing?Don't worry I'll hold your hand and never let you go.”

“Huh? Im—”I paused, bigla akong napahawak sa seatbelt ng ride habang dumadauos ito pababa hindi ko na pinansin ang pag-click ng camera.

I huffed, exhausted at the thought. At the sound, he looked up.Slowly, the expression on his face changed.

He laughed at me.“Look at your face. Come on. You still blushing Avina.”

“Huwag mo akong tawanan,walang nakakatawa duon Haru!”mariing saad ko pa na sinamaan siya ng tingin.

Just then I realized this was about to become common. He stood, silently assessing me. After that ride I need to drink water and to have rest while he still smirked then,may nakakatuwa ba duon halos mawalan na nga ako ng malay duon.

He became serious again.“Ito lang muli ang huling beses na tumawa ako muli sa makalipas na ilang taon. Sorry.”

I told myself to pull it together,to think about the positive what ifs.“Why?Pumunta muna tayo ice cream store at magpahinga sandali.”

“Sige.”

He hold my hand as we walked towards the ice cream store, my foot ache for walking around the park. Ito na ang umordered para sa amin dalawa,habang marahang hinihilot ang paa ko.

I can't feel my foot too.“Ouch!Ang sakit!Why do I need to have foot cramps?”

“Still hurt?”he asked then put the cupboard of ice cream on the table,then automatically bend his knee on the ground and grabbed my legs.

Tumango ako.“Mukhang napagod lang sa paglalakad kaya hindi ko na naramdaman.Huwag mo ng hawakan nakakahiya naman.”

“Hindi naman marunong akong mag-masahe.”sambit nito na bahagyang minasahe ang paa ko, habang nakatingin lang ito sa akin.“Walang nakakahiya sa ginagawa ko kung sino man ang lalaking kasama mo ay gagawin din niya ito sa iyo ang bagay na ito.”

I pouted.“Ganun ba iyon. I'm bigger enough to handle this thing I don't need a man to do that on me.”

“How about me?Do I look girl to you?”he laughed softly while continue to massage my foot.

Napailing-iling ako.“I mean this the first time I let boy like you to do that.”

“Why?”

Nagkibit-balikat ako wala naman akong masyadong alam pagdating sa mga lalaking ito,but he is different. His slightly messy clean cut hair, naughty thick black eyebrows,long and thick eyelashes. Ang kulay tsokolateng mata nito,his bronze skin tone just like a real filipino is,long jaw line and highlighted collarbone.

His gently massage help the cramp heal then I spoke.“Hindi ko alam hindi lang siguro ako sana'y sa mga lalaki dahil nakatuon ang atensyon ko sa pag-aaral.”

“Masakit pa rin ba?”mahinahong tanong nito na minamasahe ang paa ko.

Tumango ako.“Oo okay naman na nararamdaman ko na ulit ang paa ko.”

Dahan-dahan nitong ibinababa ang paa ko bago naupo sa katapat na upuan dito sa loob ng ice cream store,masyadong malaki ang enchanted kingdom para malibot ng isang araw lang.

He became serious again.“Running for honor?”

“Yeah.To make my parents proud of me,repay their sacrifice for me. How about you?”I said then grabbed the cupboard of ice cream and have a taste of it.

Napatango-tango lang ito.“Did you feel happy while doing it?Grade is not the measurement of how intelligent you are,the teachers can put higher than you want.”

“Yes,but sometimes I'm tired being everyone's rivalry, I don't know who will stabbed behind my back.”I explained, after a pause.

He went on.“So you are not happy. Look at you now, mag-isa ka iniwanan ka ng mga itinuturing mong kaibigan kaya tayo ang magkasama.”

“Bakit iniwan ka din ba ng kasama mo?”I asked, because I'm extremely curious about him.

That I didn't have, he always joking around with me. He has a point we are same idea. Perspectives. Believe.

He made a little grunt.“I'm not supposed to be there,they have own businesses so why I do I need to in there if their is no space for me.”

I felt pity for him.He just looked at me and waited for me to catch up on my own.“It so hurt to in the place that you don't belong in the first place. ”

“You are like the fish out of the water. I'm happy to enjoy on my own with a totally stranger.”he said and gave me a half smiled.

This the first time I met a stranger and be close to him, hindi ko maipaliwanag kung bakit ang gaang-gaan ng loob ko sa kaniya kahit ko pa nga ito tunay na kakilala.I’m fifteen years old, but even now I can remember everything from that year,down to the smallest details.

I chewed a mouthful of ice cream.“What do you do for living?”

“Earning money to spend on any

time hanging out at Bar or playing guitar with other girls.”He said quickly, he scanned my face if I offended to what he said.

It's normal to a man to drink liquor right? Sometimes they have a reason why they do that.

He wasn’t bad looking,I told myself, and he's really sweet.“How it's feel?”

“A what?Drinking alcohol?”

I nodded the take scoop of my ice cream.“Yeah. How it's feel when you drinking alcohol?”

“You didn't drink right?Ang pakiramdam nuon ay parang may mainit na likidong dumadaloy sa lalamunan mo.”ang paglalahad pa nito sabay itinuro pababa ang lalamunan na halata ang adams apple nito.

Sinubukan ko isipin ang sinabi nito.“Mukhang nakakatakot naman pala uminom kapag nakikita ko si Dad na umiinom ng Jack Daniels sa kuwarto nito.”

“Maglakad-lakad na tayo malapit na din ang six,alam mo ba kung anong bus number mo?”

“Oo natatandaan ko pa naman kung saan iyon nakapark.”

Tumayo na kami sa kinauupuan at nag-lakad palabas ng ice cream store. I felt the sadness in my heart, parang kanina masayang-masaya ako dahil sa pakiramdam ko may nakakaintindi sa kalagayan namin.

Naramdaman kong may bagay na ipinatong sa balikat ko.“Mukhang malalim ang iniisip mo,you know your eyes is different from the other.”

Ang denim jacket ko pala ang ipinatong nito sa aking balikat nagsisimula ng dumilim ang buong kalangitan sinyales na mag-gagabi na at kailangan ng matapos ang lahat.

“I attribute it to my Mom. Hindi ko siya masisi dahil bata pa lang si Mom at maganda ang kulay ng mata saka ang hubog ng katawan niya. ”

I'm so blessed to attribute some of my Mom physical attributes, six inches tall that i inherited from my father.

He was still dazed.“You are lucky beauty with the brain. I'm sure everyone will look at you as goddess of campus.”

“Sinabi mo pa hindi ko hilig ang ganun gusto ko lang ay mag-aral ng tahimik kagaya ng normal na high school student.”ang katuwiran ko pa siguro nakakahanga sa iba iyon pero sa akin hindi.

Why people always look at the other appearance of the man? Not in the inside of his heart, I have no idea what is love is. But I was looking for it too. I hope God will notice me never tired to my optimism.

Nakaplaster na rito ang pagkangisi. He had nice set of teeth.“Bihira ang kagaya mo ikaw na nasa taas lagi kang nagpapakumbaba ang nasa baba gustong nagpapakataas.”

He is like a romance superhero had a determined square jaw. I loved boys...especially young men always joking around like Eumz.

“Hindi naman natin kailangan nuon. ”ang agap ko pa na tinignan lang ito.

“Alam mo hinihiling ko na sana hindi na lang ito natapos dahil nag-eenjoy akong kausap ka.”wika pa nito, his mouth slashed into a grin as he surveyed my casually.

I looked around but there was no one here in the my bus. “Alam mo masaya akong makausap ang kagaya mo sana magkita pa tayo sa susunod. ”

“Ako din sana makita ulit kita. ”

Sumampa ako sa stair ng bus at humarap dito.“Baka mahuli ka sa bus mo mahirap pa naman mag-commute mag-isa. ”

Lumapit ito sa akin at kinuha ang ID nito at tinanggal iyon sa pagkakalace nuon sabay kinuha din ang ID ko. Natigilan ako ng gawin niyo iyon iniisip ko kung ano ba dapat ang gawin ko sa ganitong pagkakataon, bumababa ang tingin ko rito ng matapos nitong ipagpalit ang ID namin dalawa.

“Magpalit tayo ng ID para may remembrance tayo sa isa't-isa. ”he grinned flashing his white teeth.

Nanlaki ang mata ko and hoped that he wouldn't notice myself blushing. “Bakit kailangan natin magpalit baka kailanganin mo ito sa school mo?.”

“Hindi kaya kong magpagawa ng bago kaya ikaw din. It's nice to meet you Avina. Bye. ”he raised his hand in the air to look at me.

My eyes were wide. “T-thank you for sharing your thoughts. Can I request a hug?”

“Yeah sure. ”sagot nito saka ibinuka ang kamay sa hangin.

Ngumiti ako ng niyakap ito, nababaliw ako bakit ko ba iyon sinabi,I felt the warmth in his embrace. Pagkatapos nuon ay nagmamadaling tumakbo ako patungo sa loob ng bus.

Nanginginig ang kamay na isinara ko ang kurtina sa kinauupuan ko at panay ang buntong hiningang sa hangin. Bakit ba ginawa ko iyon? Nababaliw na ba ako?

“Wow! Avina!”

“Ang sexy mo talaga!”

Sumisipol-sipol na bulalas ni Eumz ng unahin ako sa swimming pool, I smiled demurely.  Hindi ko kasalanan kung pinagtitinganan ako ng ibang estudyante ganun na din ang classmates ko, mula ng lumusong ako sa swimming pool ay ganiyan na sila.

Tinawanan ko lang ito bago kinuha ang orange juice sa at naupo sa bakal na silya.“Huwag mo akong pinag-loloko baka seryosohin ko iyan. ”

May maipagmamamalaki ko ang medyo malaking dibdib, hindi katulad ng iba na nagsisimula pa lang magkaroon nuon. My parents are very conservative to wear me a bikini, it's two-piece swimsuit para sa overnight staying namin sa isang resort.

“Sino pala yung lalaki na nasa labas ng bus?”anito na umahon sa pool at tinabihan ako nito.

Nanlilisik naman ang mga mata ng ilang classmates namin na hindi nakapagdala o hindi makapagsuot ng bikini. Dahil si Eumz ang pinakatinitingalang lalaki sa campus namin.

Nginitian ko ito habang pinapatuyo ang katawan gamit ang tuwalya. “Kaibigan ko alam mo Eumz, masaya pa lang mag-isa ka.”

“Ahh ganun ba. Dapat nag-iingat ka dahil tignan mo ang tingin ni May at Flora sa iyo.”ang agap pa nito na alam kong gusto na naman nitong surahin ang kaibigan ko.

I sighed. “Tigilan mo na ang panunukso baka mainlove ka ng sobra. ”

“Hindi ko siya gusto basta mag-iingat ka sa kanila. ”ang sagot pa nito na tumayo at naglakad papalayo.

Kaagad na binalewala ko na lang ang mga iyon hanggang sa dumating sina May at Flora na dala ang mga inumin nila. Kagaya ko ay naka-two piece swimsuit din sila habang nakatingin ang ibang kalalakihan sa kanila.

Naupo si Flora sa balak na silya. “Winner ka naman Avina! Ikaw na naman ang tinitingala ng lahat-lahat. ”

“Alam mo ba pati ang ibang section gulat na gulat ng nag-suot ka niyan.”suhestiyon pa ni May na pumalakpak sa hangin.

I bit my lip apprehensively. “Hindi naman. Saan ba kayo nagpunta at iniwanan niyo ako? ”

“Hinahanap ka namin kaso bigla kang nawala. ”ang sagot nila.

Napatango-tango na lang ako.“Mag-shower na ako para maaga akong makapagpahinga.”

Tinalikuran ko na ang mga ito hindi ko magawang maniwala duon, dahil sa sinabi ni Eumz sa akin saan ba dapat akong maniwala?