For You

Epilogue

The present day

I pause reminiscing when I ultimately comprehended that's the end of the memories I had with him. I wasn't crying because I have cried enough for this guy even though I know he's not the one at fault.

My vague reason to leave became more clearer everyday. When he stopped looking for me, stopped yearning for me. Maybe after all he decided to be with her.

I open my eyes at a slow pace focusing my vision on my ceiling. My room never looked this gleaming since the past years, the days I have spent without him. There wasn't a single day I didn't walk by the memory lane, not a single day without me escaping his name from my avid lips. Surely, this is was a new school, a new life posed by me. A life without trauma. But, I am willing to accept every trauma, every affliction I can get to make him happy. A happiness which doesn't lie on me.

My days never felt this lengthy and lingering . To avoid this solitary feeling, sometimes you can see me beside the town's lake throwing rocks inside the water, picturing they are the unspoken words caged inside my heart. Sometimes at 5 am in the morning when the sun hasn't come out yet, you can see me mourning watching our images scrolling down my phone gallery . Sometimes you can see me smiling wistfully thinking about the happy times. Sometimes I grimace remembering the ugly moments and to not let the pain invade in me again I hold myself gulping huge amount of air continuously .

Now, all I feel, all is left is the icy breezes and chilly air of misery surrounding me and there is no Dave to warm me up.

I can't even stalk him because now I am scared, scared to see him moving on. I tried blocking him from everywhere , including my life. There were times when he tried to contact me. Since, I never gave him a reason. I just vanished out of his world like I was never really there. But like everything that craving, the longing, burning to see me came to an end too.

It's surprising how a friendship treasured so long can be destroyed so easily.

I stare at my ceiling as I recall the moments. Unanticipatedly, a sentence clicked in my head bouncing me up from my bed. I sat down with uncontrollable heart beats reversing the lines . '' I think I saw your ex. '' the echo circled my brain. Somehow, Lana thinks he's my ex. Since for her we have practically done everything a normal couple usually does. But, I am not ashamed of what I had with him. Because, I am not ashamed of him. But seriously, did she just admit she saw him? I gasped. I couldn't consume it.

I called her forthwith quivering the moment.

'' Woah! your mom already left? I thought you said she left your aunt's place last month.''

Ignoring her sarcastic question which had the word 'logic' contained in it I questioned her back impatiently.

'' Umm.. I have to ask you something.''

'' Okay? '' Her tone could express she never heard me this desperate before and honestly I haven't too.

'' You said you saw him.''

'' Yeah? ''

'' Weren't you in your hometown? I mean, are you back already ? ''

Stupid myself knew the answer but still didn't want to believe in.

'' Ellie...'' she tries to remind me.

'' I told you I got back a WEEK ago. '' She elongates the word while I was still panicking with the vital key phase.

'' So.. '' I was stuttering.

'' SO? '' she asks muddled.

'' So that means you saw him here, in-this-very-town. '' and there you go my fellow readers, the person I was avoiding for the past two years decided to finally show up in my life tangling it up once again.