Blue Flame

I could care less of what's going to happen. The next thing I knew I was on the tip of the bridge's rail, ready to jump into the depth of the sea. Engines were so loud I could barely hear my thoughts, it's as if my only choice is to silence everything by going in. I wonder what's down there? I never liked the thought of drowning. But it made me ponder how it feels like to be unrestricted and free. One step is all it takes. I closed my eyes, smiled and took a deep breath until I felt an immense pull which made me flinch. "Hey, dude! What the f**k are you doing?!" The man scolded as he embraced me, tight. I stared at him, only when I felt a warm touch from someone I ever burst out my tears. I cried. He didn't say anything but instead held me close. I can hear his heart beating rapidly, it was so loud as if he ran from miles away to get where I was. How can a mere stranger make me feel so safe when the people I love the most can't? I sobbed. "Man, what's wrong?" He softly asked. I looked down the ground in complete silence, not uttering a word. Though his words pierced right through me hard, my eyes began to water once again. Since when was the last time a person genuinely asked me that question? I can't remember. He sighed. Silence dominated for seconds but not so long, I can feel the bench's seat move. "Stay here," He stood up. I was still sobbing when he went to his motorcycle and got something from the trunk. I wiped a tear from my cheek and he handed a bottle of water to me. "Take it." He insisted. Shaking and realizing for being so transparent from someone, I received it, my hands feeling cold while I drank few gulps that quenched my throat from the raspy feeling and quietly said, "Thanks." We sat on the park's bench, not away from the bridge. Tranquility slowly took over the atmosphere. I can feel him sigh once more as he relaxed his back onto the wooden chair. My fingers fidgeted as I look down, feeling embarrassed from the emotion I had shown from a complete stranger. "I don't know what your problem is but life is more than just ending it all," He started. "Shitty situations may appear in the most unexpected time. No f*****g pressure, man. Give yourself a chance to take a break." I gripped the bottled water as my jaw clenched. "What do you know?" I scoffed, my anxiousness turning into anger. "I don't," The f**k? Then why speak as if he knows my pain? Like he knows something about me. I was about to retort when he continued to speak. "I just broke up with my girlfriend." He chuckled heavily, his eyes starting to look nonchalant. "What?" I asked as my throat started to feel a little lump from what he had spoke. "Yeah, just a few minutes ago after I saw you on the tip of the bridge." He raked his fingers into his messy dark brown hair. "Oh, sorry," I whispered, feeling apologetic of how I acted. "Nah, it's nothing. I can't do anything about it, she don't want me anymore." He shrugged. "We were in a 9 year relationship, but all because I don't want to f**k with her, she found someone else who can. What a joke." He chuckled jokingly but his eyes says otherwise. Oh, god. What a b***h, I thought. "I know right," He snickered as if he knew what was in my mind. "I was actually about to propose to her." His eyes filled with melancholy as his face turned stoic, deep in thought. I saw his jaw clenched hard as if he wanted to punch the man who she cheated with. "I'm glad she said no and told me the truth." He stated as his voice croaked like he was about to tear up. His anger still visible even from his woe tone of voice. We went mute for a few minutes, he cleared his throat only to let out a chuckle as he broke the ice between the two of us. "Anyways," He finally spoke as he gave my shoulder a soft pat and stood up. "Don't hesitate to call me when you need someone to talk to. Please don't end your life that easily." He got out his wallet and gave me a— calling card? Oh, the man's name is Bryle. Wait. As I read the paper from the top it says... Alvowego Incorporated? Isn't this the famous brand for bags? I stared at it for a few seconds before I was about to ask, but the next thing I knew he already dashed away with his motorcycle. "b***h, I told you to talk to me when you have problems!" Thea scolded after I told her what happened. My fingers tight from the clasp I had made because of getting nervous. "Sorry," Is all I could mutter, not taking a glance from her way. "What could've happened if he wasn't there?!" She cried. "You think I won't be living my life full of regrets why I wasn't able to save you?" Her voice croaked from shouting at me with deep worry. Thea would usually slap the sense out of me but surprisingly, she went in for a tight hug. I heard her sob as she spoke, "Please, Trav. Don't be too hard on yourself. I care about you. I know your mother just passed away but I'm always here to listen," She was caressing my hair, my tears fell from the warm embrace she's giving me. She never left me, I was always so thankful for having her as my best friend. Whenever all of the people turned their backs on me, she was the only person who believed that I was someone more than what they thought I was. I clung my arms on her as my shoulders began to shake, my emotions starting to pour when we both flinched from a loud crash that was heard in the kitchen. We quickly let go from each other's arms as I hurriedly wiped my damp cheeks. "f**k," She muttered softly when she loosen her hug from me, "I'm sorry, wait here." As soon as she went off to the kitchen I could hear her and a familiar voice, screaming at each other. "What did I say about bringing that fucker in here?! You never learn! You're cheating on me, aren't you?!" His ranged tone of voice can be heard from here in the living room. "He's a friend! Why can't you understand that?! I wasn't able to talk to him for weeks because I tried to ignore him for you but he really needs me right now, Kael! Please, just let us be!" Thea retorted. God, everywhere I go is trouble. I just want to disappear... I thought as my heart started to race a beat when their voice were coming near the room. And there they are, still scolding at each other as I sat there, slightly shaking. I'm afraid he might hurt me, or worse, hurt Thea. "You, fucker!" Kael viciously grabbed the collar of my shirt and was about to land a punch at me when Thea went in to receive it. I gasped, seeing her fall on the floor made my blood boil. My shake began to change from fear into rage. As much as I wanted to pull a punch on his f*****g face, Thea managed to reach out from my wrists and slightly shook her head, her eyes watered, gesturing for me to stop whatever I'm trying to make of my stance. "f**k!" He cussed as he looked at her with horror. Thea spit a tinge of blood from her mouth, stood up and said, "Let us be!" Her cheek turning into bloody red. "When he's still here before the morning comes, I swear I'm going to f*****g him!" He furiously went up stairs. I can hear the door shut vigorously. I quickly catched her as I felt her weak from her place, "s**t, you didn't have to do that!" I cried, trying to lead her on the couch. "It's fine, this is nothing." She winced as I tried to wipe off the blood from her chin. I immediately got her a bag of ice from the kitchen and gently put it at the top of her now bruised chin. My eyes softened as she frowned from the pain, "I'm sorry, all I do is trouble. I'm heading out." I said as I felt a pang of guilt running through me. Seeing her defend for me is already too much what more a punch she received because of me. I was ready to receive the blow on my face but she was too fast as if she was expecting for him to do it on me. I gulped the lump that formed on my throat and sighed, I can't cry again when she's hurt the most. But I can't stay here any longer, I don't want anything that could possibly hurt her more than she is right now. I feel so bad about myself for coming in here despite the threat her boyfriend has made between our relationship as best friends. "No, stay here. I don't care what he'll do. I'd rather get beaten than hearing you ending your life—" I cut her out, reassuring her I won't do it again. "I promise I'm going back home. I won't do that again. I'm so sorry, Thea... I got you up into this mess again." I muttered, still holding the pack of ice onto her skin. She looked unconvinced for a moment but then sighed when she saw me smile, telling her that I will be okay. She held the top of my palm, "Please, Trav. Do your promise." Thea hugged me once more, every second felt so heavy like she didn't want to let go. Dad stared at me as soon as I went pass through the door from the balcony. "Where have you been?" His voice stern. "I- I was with Althea." I stuttered and continued to walk to the staircase after few moments of silence, trying to compose myself regardless of his fuming tone of voice. "You sure you aren't giving your ass off with other men, Travis?" His deep voice echoing from each corners of the room. "I wasn't, Dad..." I quietly answered as I took another step from the stair, wanting to quickly hide from him. "I wish you were the one who f*****g died instead of your Mom. You're such a disgrace to this family." I can tell he stated it with a grimace on his face. His words stung as it played on my mind repeatedly like a broken radio. "I wish too, Dad." I nonchalantly whispered as I completely shut my door. As soon as it closed, I can feel the corner of my eyes burning as tears blurred my vision. I can feel my body slowly getting weak as I ended up curling myself on the floor, crying. He's right, I shouldn't be the one who's living right now. It's all my fault. "Mom, I wish you were here." I sobbed as I tried to cease the sound that wanted to escape from my throat. Days have passed since I met Bryle but I still haven't called him. I also can't talk to Thea because her boyfriend might get mad at me for the nth time. I can't have her get in trouble again just because of me. But my anxiety is getting out of hand, I don't want to get suicidal again and I promised her that I wouldn't. I badly want to get this off my chest, I feel like drowning. I was having a hard time breathing and the next thing I knew I dialed the number he gave me. It rang four times before someone spoke from the line, "Hello? Who's this?" I flinched at the sound of the voice. I took a deep breath before speaking, "This is Travis... The guy you met at the bridge." I anxiously answered as I gulped. My nerves starting to feel relaxed as I knew I could divert my attention from the feeling I've felt for hours. "Oh, hey! What's up, man? You good?" He greeted. "I'm kind of—" I halted when I heard a lady's voice. "Sir, the meeting is about to start in ten minutes. Your presence is highly needed for today's clients." The lady spoke formally. "I'll catch up in a minute, thanks." I heard Bryle responding, "Sorry about that. If you're free later evening we can meet and talk. It's much better than chatting through the phone." I was in awe when he mentioned about meeting again. Isn't he worried I might be a bad guy? How can he easily trust me and talk to me like I'm his friend? "Uh, you still there?" He asked after a few seconds of silence. "Yeah, sorry I was—" I heaved a long sigh before I continued speaking. "I'm free later." My lips tugging up on its own from his offer. "A'ight, I'll text you shortly where to meet up. See you." "Okay, see—" He hung up the call. "...you." A few moment after the call ended he already texted me the address and details. That was a short conversation we had but it already made me ponder. It feels weird but after knowing someone who barely know me, and care for me this much, is so new and... warm. Mindlessly muttering from the event that had happened, I unconsciously got calmer. I guess I'll have to go. But as soon as I arrived from the looks of the gates, they are overwhelming enough for me to continue. I stared blankly at the place as I asked myself, "What the f**k am I doing?" I whispered. What if he was the killer— wait, if he was he could have done that when we first met. Ugh, how stupid. As I was about to pull over at the side of the place to park, a man with an outfit of a guard came up to me and suspiciously looked at my car's tinted glass before knocking the door. "Good evening, Sir. May I ask what is your business here?" The man with an officer's cap asked curiously. "Oh, uhm- Bryle invited me in this place. Here's his calling card." Bryle texted me that I'll just let them see the card he has given me last time before entering. I don't know why. The guard unbelievably asked to check on it. "He told me to give it to you when I get here," I added as he was scrutinizing the card's detail, he was waving his UV rayed flashlight from the paper as if he was finding something from it. Okay, that is weird. He must have looked a little surprised when he checked the card, both of his eyebrows raised when he confirmed something on it. His eyes roamed on my car as if he doesn't believe that I was about to enter with it. I just shrugged it off. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience, Sir. Most of the people nowadays try to copy their calling card so that they can enter which is why we are very cautious in sending people in." He explained, he must have seen the confusion on my face. Ah, so, that's why. "It's fine, I would've done that too if I was in your position." I slightly smiled. He gave the card back to me, guided me where to go, and let me in. Wow, what a huge place. There should be at least seven soccer fields equivalent to this land. I was finding the parking lot when I saw multiple cars from a distance. Wait, am I parked in a public place or something? After seeing those expensive cars lining up, now I am hesitating to get out and meet Bryle once more. I was in deep thought when my phone suddenly rang. It was him. I quickly answered it and to my surprise, like how he had always known what was in my mind, he told me he will be waiting. I hung up the call, took a deep breath for the nth time and got out from the car. Is there really people in this place? It seems to be too silent. I went in the entrance where an enormous door was opened by two body guards after I handed them the card and searched for someone. "Good evening, Sir." A man in suit greeted me. "Good evening." I responded. He must be a butler considering with the way how he acts and gestures. "This way please," He said as he started walking away as I follow him from behind. I can't believe this is a house. Everything in here is massive. The sofas, the carpet, the curtains and windows, hallways, oversized doors and paintings on the walls are too overwhelming for me to take in, honestly. I only saw these type of houses in the movies. As my eyes were scanning the decors, the butler spoke which snapped out my thoughts. "I apologize for the wait, please come in." I then witnessed a loud sound and tons of people dancing from the inside like there was an actual bar inside this house. I gulped in aghast while some people stared at me, I can feel their eyes examining me as if they knew I don't belong here. I want to leave. "Dude—!" I heard someone call amidst the crowd. I looked around and saw Bryle coming at me while smiling. Reflexively, I also smiled back and waved. "Hey," I started. "You're late." He loudly spoke throughout the loud sound coming from the party. He gave me his hand and I took it from him. Like any other guys do, he hugged and patted my back. I can feel my cheek slightly burning. Okay, it's not so bad I'm in here. "Sorry," I replied as I knew it took me awhile to come because I was hesitant. "It's fine, man." He reassured me. Bryle told me that we should talk privately and was about to head through the door when someone called him from the crowd. "Dex! Where the f**k are you going? You're missing the fun!" A guy spoke as two women were wrapping their hands around his arms. He was holding a glass so I bet he's already drunk. "I have a company with me," He looked at me as I smile at him. "Ah, new guy, huh? What's your name?" He said looking at me as he placed his beverage from a waiter's tray who passed through them and handed me his hand for a shake. "Travis," I spoke as we exchanged a glance. He is quite handsome if I were to tell, blond, tall and the firm grip from the handshake is telling me he goes to the gym. "Spencer," He introduced. "Let him join us, man." The blond headed looked at Bryle as if he was pleading for him not to leave in the party. Bryle definitely chuckled as he looked at me apologetically. "I traveled for miles here from my meeting in L.A. and you'll just leave?" He added causing for him to sigh in defeat. He was indeed wearing a decent suit and everybody could tell he was in from a formal meeting and went straight into a party. "A'ight," Bryle slightly laughed as he told him we'll follow. "Sorry, man." He spoke to me. "It's fine, I don't mind." I said, my palms sweaty from what's going to happen next. I haven't met new people ever since I shut myself in the house. Partying and talking to random strangers is just not my thing. I'd rather read a book or watch movies in my room. We walked through another room where there was a man kissing a girl on his lap while two more were beside him, giggling and caressing his arms. I can see his hands roaming from a another girl's ass even though it was quite dim from the colorful moving lights. I blinked twice and realized I was in this type of place, I shouldn't be shocked. "Yo, Matt!" Spencer interfered from their passionate kiss. "What?" He coldly asked as the girl on his lap moved away, his tone sounded annoyed, I'm sure. "Don't be too salty now, Bryle has a new friend." He started while looking at me. I can feel his brows curving from afar. He stood up and gave his hand for shake which I accepted. "Matthew this is Travis," Bryle introduced me to him, "Travis, this is an old friend of mine, Matthew." Another handsome man, just to tell the truth, the three of them are. It's like they were gathered for a men's show because of how good they look. Matthew was also tall, he was wearing eyeglasses but that didn't stop him from looking hot with it. His glasses touching the tip of his nose as he pushed it back in and raked his fingers into his dark hair, fixing himself. "Nice to meet you—" I spoke when Spencer didn't let me finish. "Ugh, stop with the formalities." He laughed, "Drink with us, Trav. We can get you girls as well so you don't get bored." Spencer said as he called a new group of ladies coming at me. Okay, what the f**k have I gone into? Bryle just massaged the sides of his temple as he sat with them. While I'm here stuck with two slutty girls who are starting to touch my arms as they guided me to sit not far from them. I slightly winced from the thought. "Hi, handsome," The brunette smiled at me as she started to twirl the tip of her finger in a circular manner on my arm. This is disgusting. "You good, Trav?" Bryle looked at me as another group of girls went to his seat and started to do the same to him. He must've noticed my face when it grimaced when they spoke to me and I am obviously not okay. This is so uncomfortable. I wasn't expecting this kind of atmosphere when I went in the house. It was too grandiose and silent for having a huge bar inside. "Yeah," I uneasily said as a hand ran through my chest from one of the girl's touch who giggled. "A'ight, we'll talk later, okay? Sorry about this." He apologetically said as he drank a scotch from the jigger glass. "Sure, it's not a problem," I lied as tried to keep my cool from the series of events that's happening. What have I gotten myself into? I should've left the moment I saw tons of cars from the parking lot. I didn't see that coming, I really thought we would just see each other alone and that was dumb of me. I gulped hard and whiffed air from my mouth. I can hear my heart beat faster as both of the girls noticed my discomfort. "First time?" She asked me with a sly grin. Fuck, I badly want to leave and just get away from here. I blinked at the thought and chuckled at her, gaining back my poise. "Nah," I lied, smirking at her. Come on, Trav. What's a little act from these people, right? This is much better than being left alone. I should take this chance to at least divert my attention from thinking of ending at all. I made a promise to Thea. "Oh, really?" The black headed girl playfully asked as she handed me a drink. Without a second thought, I chugged it. The taste was so strong I could feel the minty and spicy feeling from my mouth into my throat and finally stomach. I cleared my throat afterwards. The brunette then slowly made her way onto my lap and started to touch my hair while looking at me. She then moved her lower half as if trying to find a bulge from me. Shit! I can't do this— I thought when she suddenly went in for a kiss. My eyes widen as her tongue found its way inside mine. Fuck it! Like I have any other choice? I can't stop now, it'll be too embarrassing. I said to myself as I fought for dominance in our caverns.