All that I live for

Beloved, This is your last letter from me. I received the letter you left for me, And I know you've been dying to hear from me. oh Greg, how you melt me with your words, you pierce my soul.Your words stuck in my mind like a broken record oh Greggy, I could hear them in my sleep, and try to look at the world with you out of it, I seem to have fallen over a precipice, or rather, the solid earth has slipped from under my feets. This is my confession, I told you I have one to make and you laughed. You did not know how serious it was to be in love with you long before you were in love with me, nothing can be more serious than that. I use to look at you from behind the trees, at the palace when you visited with your late-father, he was incredible, and very humble, respected by everyone in this town, may Mr and Mrs Johnson's soul rest in heaven, they will forever be missed. Sometimes I would be looking from a high in my room staring through the window, admiring your every move, hoping that one day you would look up and see just how you brighten my face, my life, but like a bird raised in a cage I was afraid to fly, afraid of freedom! until you found me. My dear, it shivers me that I have to break this down to you, my knees feel weak, I could barely keep my feets on the ground. Since our last meeting everything has changed.oh Greggy my love, my love for you will never grow old, never! I love you, my dear , no one can take that away now not even a Amy of my father's men. You Greg, only you will always be in my heart! I'm leaving town in a few days, my love, and you might never see me again. My father is taking me to Cape Town to further my nursing studies there. And in a few weeks I'll be married, yes married, to Prince Jonathan son of Ishmael of Azania, I agreed to give him my hand in marrage and now I belong to Jonathan, but my heart will always belong to you. I'm devoured by curiosity, fear of what's going to happen next, but your love fills my heart with courage! ah , If only I might know just how happy I make you, and just which thing I said yesterday is making you laugh today. now I can only be with you in my dreams, ah, my dreams, these are dreams that go out like a candle-light directly one opens they shutters. The daylight is too strong for them, and now I can barely remember my dream, whatever, it was enough to make me happy. I was at our "place" this morning and, yeah it was lonely all I could hear was the birds singing and the water rushing- which reminded me of that evening we tried to cross the river with me on your back hanging tight like I was glued to you, oh Greg I still remember, I remember every part of it like it was yesterday, you could barely even take a breathe for a second with my arms wrapped around your neck, squeezing you like I just woke up from a nightmare, ah my love, I will always remember the days. I will always love you, I will always miss you, now and forever. finally I know, I know that life is not as authors present it to be, not like honey and roses, or "Romance" novels I shared with you, yet it gave me you, the most prettiest thing I have ever had. I hope you make it to Johannesburg, and that you "Ink" the deal of your dreams with "Winter records" and maybe make it big one day, along side "stars" that's where you belong, my beloved, till then and forever, I will always dance to your tunes, your tunes only. Do not be afraid of a change, my love, do not be afraid of what you will become of you with out me, a "Star" thats what you are, a "star" shine my love fro my heart is utterly yours, gladly devoted to you. And marrying Jonathan is a great decision for both you and me and our beloved ones. I not asking you to believe everything I say, I'm just asking you to trust me, Greg, trust our love! breaking up with you is a good decision. I trust you will respect my decision and let me go. "oh" I will miss you, Greg, but now it's about time we face reality, that we were never mearnt to be, maybe.... whatever, this is a goodbye after this letter you might not hear from me, ever again, and even in my dying bed I will still remember your love, our love, the "bird song".Your love will cheer the rest of my days in Cape town, how I just wish that my love can do the same for you too. my spirit, soul, will always be with you, through the thick or thin, good or bad, I will always be with you, all I'm asking is for you to always remember your dreams, remember your purpose in life, and the beauty that comes with it. So, I want you to rise like a phoenix in the ashes of fire, rise above the seas and the tallest trees, rise for me. Fly! my love fly! Yours horse-girl always loving.