Unbreakable Hearts

I used to walk those halls. I used to call those people my friends. I used to be able to count on that school. However, even my favorite teacher turned his back on me. Piece of s**t school. Why am I even going back there? Why does it matter if I get better mentally? My therapist even said it might be a bad idea to confront this head on. I take a deep breath. I look out the window of this Grey Hound bus. Thinking. Contemplating. My aunt Stew said it would be best to control my emotions if I would confront the people that brought them on in the first place. "My anger isn't that bad Stew!" I yelled at her as she was throwing sandbags at me to dodge. Auntie Stew was teaching me self defense while I stayed with her. Her words were "Every woman/girl needs to be able to protect themselves." She owned her own dojo. If I wasn't at school, I was in the dojo training with her. After what I went through, she made it clear to me that she will do everything to help me feel like my old self again. I can say it helped a bit except for my anger. My anger I could never control. "Lizzy, you are yelling at me out of anger when we have discussed several times that 'clear minds from emotions while training is the best solution for an even better recovery.' Your anger is the only emotion you have a hard time steering away from each time you train." She stopped throwing sand bags at me. "You need to confront this anger head on." I rolled my eyes at her. "I'm getting water." I walked over to the bench sat down while grabbing my water bottle. As I drank from it, Auntie Stew sat next to me giving me a huge sigh. "Lizzy, this isn't a punishment honey. Your therapist doesn't know how to help your anger. At this point neither do your uncle Eric or I." She puts her hand on my shoulder. "If you confront your mother and those people who did this to you, then maybe your anger will subside. However, we may never know until you give it a shot." I swallowed my water and took a deep breath. "I know Auntie Stew. I just..." The flashbacks of that day came back for a second. "I am afraid I'll freeze or even worse do one of my blackouts again leading to someone getting hurt." I wiped the sweat from my face with a towel. I had a blackout during a school project when one of my fellow classmates, at my new school, started to bully another classmate for their homework. My anger got the best of me leading me to blackout. Let me just say that kid never bullied anyone ever again. I was suspended for 2 weeks. "Awww my love." She hugs me. "Remember what I told you if that happens at any time?" As she slowly pulls away, grabbing my face. "To take a deep breath first. Keep my emotions under control as hard as I can until someone gives me a reason to use my self defense. Even then make sure I do more dodging than use my fists. I can't get in to trouble if they are trying to hit me first especially if all I'm doing is dodging their hits." I stated with a slight smile on my face. She kisses my nose and pulls away from my face. "Exactly. Just watch your breathing and keep it steady." She gave me a noogie and stood up. "Alright kid. Time to go. Your uncle isn't going to wait for us forever. Maybe he saved us some food this time." I chuckled and stood up myself. My uncle Eric was a food hog. We came home once all ready to eat pizza with him. As we walked through the door, he had already downed a half of the pizza. He isn't a fat man. Between him and aunt Stew owning the dojo they're constantly training and staying fit. We weren't on a strict diet, but there was hardly any junk food in the house. Auntie stew always made sure to make good healthy snacks for us to eat. Uncle Eric was a built guy. Auntie Stew was a built woman. If we had to do comparisons Uncle Eric was a John Cena look alike while auntie Stew was a Rhea Ripley look alike. Once they found out what had happened to me; Uncle Eric wrote off my mother forever. My mother stated to Uncle Eric that I had tendencies of showing unnecessary skin and eventually asked for it. I broke after I heard what she had said about me being SA'd by fellow classmates. Why would I ever ask to be SA'd by fellow classmates? Why did it matter what I wore if no matter what I wore I was still going to be SA'd? I didn't even wear anything revealing. However, that didn't stop my mother from criticizing me while being in the hospital bleeding internally. The doctors thankfully were able to stop the bleeding. After I gotten cleared to go home, Uncle Eric and Auntie Stew had my bags packed to go stay with them. "I don't understand why can't I go home?" They both looked at each other and sighed while giving me a sad look. "Sweetie, we would love for you to go back home," Uncle Eric put his hand on my shoulder "I, as your uncle, don't think that's a good environment for you to enter back into. If I let you enter back in to that environment, I would feel so guilty for letting you endure more of your mother's torment and toxic way of thinking." I looked up to him with tears in my eyes "She still thinks I deserved this doesn't she?" "O honey." As auntie Stew and uncle Eric hug me "None of this is your fault. Do you hear me?" They pull away looking me straight in my eyes. "What those people did to you was never your fault my love. Regardless of what that heartless person of a mother says to you. You will never be at fault." They pull me back into a hug. I just continued to cry that whole day. That day I just watched my whole life fall apart all over again. The incident you may ask that lead up to today's events. Well I will take you back where things were a lot better and how it all turned around in less than one month.