Loved But Broken

Chapter 16

“Good day Bethany and Bobby, pleased to see you again, I would like to introduce Sophie to you both, she will be staying with me and will able to assist you Bethany around the homestead with the house cleaning and maintaining the house while I continue to assist you Bobby out in the fields.

Now before we go any further you both need to be aware that I will need Sophie to take it easy for a few days until we can get into a doctor in town or have one come out to see her, we are currently expecting a child and she isn’t very far along yet but need to know for sure, which is why I ask you both to keep an eye on her for me when I am not around. “he turned slightly towards me and smiled my way still full of joy even though it’s been three days since we took the test together. By the look in his eyes and the way his whole face would light up I knew he was just as over joyed as I was to be starting a family together and loving each other the way we do. He doted on Beth and Bob and the way he spoke to them and looked at them if I didn’t know any better, I would have said they were his mother and father but I knew they couldn’t be because he had told me about how he grew up and the abuse he had to endure from his own father much like what I had gone through with my father when he had too much drink. I would never have to worry about barricading myself in a room again I was free for the first time in seventeen years. I don’t think I will ever get used to it.

“William of course anything you need, my dear child you know you’re not just a worker here you are truly like family now come, come child let’s get you both settled what lovely news to arrive with and we thought you would never settle dear boy.” Bethany sang as she pulled us both into a warm embrace, “Bob dear please help William with their luggage. I’ll take sweet Sophie and show her the house and where they will both staying. I’m sure you both have so much to catch up on.” She yelled sweetly over her shoulder to her smiling husband. Just as the front door closed I faintly heard Bob telling William to get over her and give me a hug son. I was puzzled at why William told me he was coming to work here for the first time when he clearly knew these people. He wouldn’t lie to me sure he wouldn’t hurt me this way knowing what I have been through. Pushing all the worry from my thoughts for now I looked around in awe at this lovely house. Stepping into the foyer it truly resembled an entrance to a castle, lined along the walls were photos of the family over time my eyes glazed over on photo it resembled William remarkably I wondered why. Bethany wasn’t far behind she stood back a little taking in my expression at this beautifully designed brick and mortar home, I was marvelled by the subtle touches of granite and marble weaved into details of the home. The floor sparkled so much I was afraid to walk on it in case I dirtied it somehow.

Continuing further into the house I was led to a spiralling staircase the balustrade coated in golden paint everything was placed with such care that I was in awe as I was led upstairs to what would be my living quarters until William decided we had to go back to my home. Bethany continued leading me through her home, stopping at a set of pine doors. Reaching slowly for the door handles while watching my expressions walking through her home. I was so lost in my thoughts I almost bumped into her. I would have plenty of time to explore this home on my own. “My dear welcome to your living quarters, we all keep our owns areas tidy I’m sure it would be no different to where you have come from.” She told me as she opened the double pine doors, walking slowly in I was thinking the room was going to small but, upon entering I was greeted with the largest room I had ever seen, there was a sitting room within this room which lead into another room to the left, edging closer to the left to the entrance I was awed by the king sized four poster bed draping over it a light silver lace curtain to give some privacy to anyone that was in the bed, it was neatly made with what appeared to be hospital corners tucking in the sheets neatly, nothing was out of place, even the duvet on top.

Beside the bed on each side were matching pine bedside tables with golden lamps placed on each side, on closer inspection, I discovered a walk in robe not just your average built in robe where you could only fit a few items of clothing in it but a massive walk in robe it could easily have fit my room back at Mums into it thrice, there were shelves lined for shoes, clothes even as I opened the drawers they were designed a jewellery boxes and other accessories on one side and on the other side it was very similarly designed. I could get lost in here. Who exactly were these people and why were they so familiar with William? I was so worried coming I didn’t realise I was holding breath until I let out my gasp upon seeing the delicate designs and layouts of what is now my living quarters literally. This place was a castle not a mansion but a full-on castle. The ensuite if you could call it that was more like a typical bathroom except it wasn’t, I entered the room and inside was a shower separate from a massive spa bath perched atop four claws, and the toilet was hidden away in the corner in its own place. I couldn’t believe how William didn’t forewarn me about the size of this home.

“Bethany this is lovely, I’m not sure what to say are you sure this is alright William bringing me with him?” I asked her, she had a grin similar to Williams that lit up her whole face. She looked so happy to have another person here.

“My dear, I meant what I said downstairs we are happy you are both here. William is like a son to me and Bobby we are so happy to see he has found a lovely young lady. Please never doubt that you aren’t welcome my dear you are very much welcome. We will see about getting a doctor out here to give you a check-up tomorrow. See how things are going with your unborn child. When you are ready you can tell me all about you, but only when you are ready. I can see you have been through a lot your eyes a window to you soul my dear and they tell me you have had a hard upbringing and that you are a very strong-willed young lady. You actually reminded me of myself when I was not much older than you many moons ago when I first arrived here after my marriage to Bobby, if I were an Anne of Green Gables, she would be saying we will be kindred spirits my dear.

As you stepped out the car, you looked like a princess that William had finally decided to bring home. He has spoken about you al fair bit to us. We weren’t surprised to see that you were with him. We were actually pleased well I was pleased; Bobby doesn’t openly express his feelings in words at all.”

Before I could respond to her a drop of salty water passed the edge of lips and landed on my arm, not realising I was crying at all she wrapped her arms around me and comforted me while we sat on the little settee in our adjoining sitting room to my new home. For the first time since Nan passed away, I felt at peace and free to use be emotional. Slightly embarrassed I looked up to this sweet lady and she just continued to hold me in her warm embrace. I must have dozed off like that because when I opened my eyes later it was dark outside and I was lying in our bed. I opened my eyes slowly looking around, reaching my arm out beside me I felt William in the bed next to me.

I rolled over gently and he was already watching me even in the dark his eyes glowed golden with speck of silver, he was smiling at me. “hey babe, how long have I been out for. I don’t remember being so worn out before, the days finally caught up to.” I whispered to him before he pulled me into him reaching for my lips and kissing me like his life depended on it. It was sweet I didn’t want anything to change about him. I loved him just the way he was. I felt it the first time I caught a glimpse off him when I was only fourteen. The day the he arrived on my doorstep was a day that has changed my life forever, finally I was saved from the horrors of what was supposed to be my childhood home for many years to come. He was right though I couldn’t live in that small town forever it was dangerous for me. Even the people that were supposed to be my family didn’t protect me from all the horrors the way that he has tried. I felt like I had been transported to another world, a different land and time era even. He reminded me so much of the princes in my books that rescued the princess from many different scenarios. I’m sure if I ate a poisoned apple that sent me into a death like sleep, he would be my prince charming that would break the spell. He wasn’t a villain like many people tried to make out. Even the rumours that were flying around school when I finished the half yearlies all those months ago weren’t even depicting the truth. We pursued each other, even trying to deny our feelings for as long as we did was hard. I couldn’t deny them a moment longer that night he came home from a night out and I came home earlier from Mum and Dad playing darts not knowing that he would be home, that night was the first night we gave into each other. Our desires were at exploding point and I couldn’t be happier than I am right now being in his arms. The way he kissed me that night and had me bent slightly over the kitchen table, cupping my breast with one hand and supporting my neck to hold my lips close with the other. The way he lifted me up like I was a feather and carried me to his bed without breaking apart our lips. That night wasn’t just s*x with some random person or some creep taking advantage of nine-year-old girl. That night was the first time I understood exactly what it was when people said they made love. To me that night was my first time, to me he was taking away what made me innocent he brought me into womanhood and in a sense he did. Except he wasn’t my first that choice was taken from me years earlier. The second time I broke his jaw for trying to force himself on me. With William though, it was different he was everything I could ever ask for. We curled up together that night the first night in our new home together. My mobile was switched off and I didn’t plan on turning it back on anytime soon I didn’t want to hear from the woman that was supposed to protect me from everything that could hurt me. Instead, though she let it happen, she continued to choose her wayward son and even my father with his physical abuse towards me she chose to keep them. She chose not to choose me for once. Just once was all I asked, it wasn’t much. She didn’t though and here I was many miles away from her for the first time ever and I didn’t even miss her. I missed my friends a little but even they were leaving me to go to schools’ outside the district. So, this unexpected pregnancy and love affair came at the perfect time. My life was finally starting to make sense.

Falling asleep that night was peaceful the next week went by with a blur the doctor came out like Bethany said he would, we discovered that I was 9 weeks along and we slowly started to plan for the months to come with the impending delivery I had to have check-ups every couple of months blood tests to check if there were any risks of down syndrome. My life was making sense slowly I was so full of bliss, even settling into the homestead I began a steady routine of cleaning up our living quarters, before following through with helping with the other chores around the house I helped Bethany along with other staff keep the homestead tidy and presentable at all times. It was like I finally had a family to call my own.

When it was coming up to the end of the first trimester, I felt this sudden sharp pain, I screamed it was excruciating. Bethany came running when she heard me and found me on the floor leaning up against the wall. “dear what’s wrong?” she asked me taking one look at my face pain written all across it, wincing again as another ache hit. It was like being stabbed multiple times when you least expected. Holding my stomach, my face held the pained expression unable to get the words out. Bethany stayed with me until a staff member found William, he came running in to find me and Bethany sitting in the hall on the lower floor unable to stand. He sat beside me while Bethany ran out to phone for the doctor. I was hit with a sudden pain again this time was hard and longer than the previous time.

I didn’t know what was happening to me. I had a thought but I pushed that thought from my mind it couldn’t be happening to me. It was like my biggest fear was coming true. There was no way I could be losing my precious baby. I didn’t want to believe the doctor arrived a few hours later, William had managed to get me up from the floor and carried me to our quarters. I felt the blood before I seen my worst fears coming true. I was losing my baby there was nothing I could do. I cried for hours the doctor confirmed that I was miscarrying and he would come and check on me in a few days to see how I was. There was nothing he or anyone else could do now except to make me comfortable. I laid in our bed for the rest of that day and cried until I felt like there was nothing left. My family was complete and now that hope was gone. It was just me and William now. The miscarriage passed on its own I didn’t need any assistance from a doctor we buried our small baby beside an oak tree with a small rose bush, in a way to remember him or her. To me they were hope when I came out of my room after nature had taken its course, I had lost hope. William tried everything to keep my spirits up. He tried to see the light at the end of our tunnel. He was as disappointed as I was to lose what we created. We would have made a lovely family.