The Loveliest Man

Regret

Regret

Jake:

How could she forgive me so easily? Maybe because now she knows I’m Jake. That still doesn’t excuse what I did. I took away her choice, I knew she wanted to marry me when we were 15 but what if she didn’t want me anymore? I would have really upset her then. It seems as if she never truly got over me. Maybe now that I’m back she realized how much she loved me. What she thought was puppy love was real.

I’ve missed her so much, but the way I got her to marry me is unacceptable. I guess I was just scared that she didn’t want me anymore. But now that I know that she still wants me I feel so bad. To know that I didn’t have to do what I did to get what I wanted hurts me.

I was in the room three doors down from Avina. As I lay in bed all I could think about was her. I drifted slowly to sleep, dreaming that things were different.

Avina:

Jake didn’t come back and his car was still here so he didn’t leave. It was pretty late, maybe he’s in one of the guest rooms. I went to the one next to my room but he wasn’t there. I peeked into my mom’s room to see if she was awake.

“Mom?” I said looking towards the bed. She was up reading a book.

“Hey honey, come in.” She said.

I walked in and closed the door behind me. I sat on the edge of the bed.  I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore. Jake was going to leave me again and I don’t think I could survive this time. Him leaving and my dad thinking I'm incompetent really made my self-esteem go down tremendously.

“What’s wrong? Shouldn’t you be happy right now you're getting married.” My mom said holding me.

At that moment I knew I had to tell her everything no matter how disappointed she will be in me.

“Mom, I’m not… I’m not a virgin.” My mom’s eyes widened as I said this.

“What do you mean? What happened?” She didn’t look disappointed, but more concerned. She knew how much it meant for me to wait till I was married as well.

“Jacob drugged me and we had sex.” I said crying loudly.

“He did what? Is that why you're getting married? You're not marrying him, we can pray god will understand.” My mom was mad.

“Mom I want to marry him!”

“Even after what he did? I don’t support this.” She said shaking her head.

“It felt amazing, mom. He was gentle and caring. I will admit, the way he went about it is bad but deep down even though I told him to stop I didn’t want him to. I was not upset that we had s*x but that I would be taken if he was to marry me. It was the best feeling in the world. I always hoped one day Jake would come back and realize that he wanted me. Now I know he’s Jake, I have no reason to be upset. I guess I’m saying that the only reason I haven’t settled down is because I was waiting for Jake to come back to me. I wanted to be single just in case he did, so when Jacob took my virginity I was upset that he could marry me and I wouldn’t be single anymore. I just wanted to be with Jake this whole time, but Jake is Jacob! I’m not upset anymore.”

“I don’t condone this, but if it makes you happy. Why are you crying then? You will get to be with him.”

“No… I won’t. He feels guilty and he says that he doesn’t deserve me. He doesn’t think he deserves to be with me so he said the wedding’s off!” I said sobbing.

“What are you crying for? Go explain everything you just said to me, to him. Maybe one day he’ll forgive himself. He loves you and can barely live without you, just tell him that you need him too.”

I was done talking to my mom. She told me which room he was in. I had to explain to him how much I wanted him, how much I needed him.

I turned the doorknob and quietly walked in and closed the door. Jacob needed me so much that he took me without permission so he could marry me faster. What if I did the same thing, to show him I need him that much as well.

I took off all my clothes. I caressed my breast and my body as I watched him lay asleep. He looked so peaceful. I didn’t know how much I missed Jake until now. I tipped toed to the bed slowly still touching my body. I climbed on the bed and pulled back the covers. He was only wearing boxers.

This reminds me of the time when Jake used to secretly stay over at night. I always felt safe when he was around. When I met Jacob something about him reminded me of Jake. I think that’s why I liked him so much. I didn’t recognize him though something about his face was… different. Like maybe he had it altered? I don’t know, maybe I’m just being crazy.

I pulled down his boxer with a lot of struggle. He was a deep sleeper. There it lay in all his glory, he used it to pleasure me in my room multiple time without actually having s*x. We were only 15 then, I know… a little young but we were infatuated with each other since we met. He was the only boy I was ever comfortable with seeing my body at the time.

I straddled him, putting my legs on each side of him. I was getting more turned on by the second. I’m sorry god, but at least we're getting married… hopefully. (lame excuse)

I took his 9 inch rod in my hands and pumped it up and down hoping to get him hard before he woke up. He shuffled a little as I kept pumping. He got harder and harder in my hands. He was so hard now that when I let go it stood up to his stomach. I moved up so my p***y was right over his length. I pulled my lips apart and put it right over him to make sure he was directly on my c**t.

He looked so good while he was sleeping. Focus! I had to say to myself more than once.

I put my hands on his shoulders and slowly slid my p***y across his d**k going from the tip all the way to his balls. I relished in the feeling and reminisced on the times he did this to me.

He groaned and opened his eyes. He was surprised to see me. He could only see the parts of my face the moonlight streaming in through the windows would allow.

He tried to get me to stop and pushed me gently but I just dug my nails into his shoulders and slid on him faster. I was so wet you could hear my juices rubbing on his skin.

“What are you doing?” He was very surprised to wake up to me doing this.

“I need you… ahhh, please don’t make me stop.” I moaned

He was twitching underneath me and I knew he wanted me too.

He groaned again when I started to go even faster. He sat up and slid us back so his back was supported by pillows and the headboard.

I was ready, I couldn’t put it off any longer. I grabbed his c**k and moved it to my entrance. I lowered myself on him, it still hurt a little considering how big he is. Once I was lowest I could go. I looked up, he was holding his breath. I put my hands around his shoulders.

“What you did was wrong, but you gave me the most pleasure I’ve ever felt. I wasn’t mad because you had s*x with me. I was mad because I wanted Jake to take my virginity and marry me. I didn’t know you were Jake, but now that I do I just want to be with you. Please… don’t call off the wedding.” He didn’t say anything he just was looking at nothing in particular. 

A tear ran down his cheek and I wiped it with my thumb. I cupped his face in my hands and kissed his lips softly. At first he didn’t respond but as I continued he gave in and kissed me back. I pulled him closer to my chest. I wrapped my legs around his back as the kiss deepened. I rolled my hips in a circle making his d**k come in and out of me a little. I moved my pelvis even closer to his if that was possible. I didn’t stop pushing him deeper inside of me or rolling my hips. He groaned as I continued and I felt him twitch inside of me. My v****a clenched and I squeezed him tighter as well. 

I was so glad that I could finally be with him. He wrapped his arms around me and flipped us over so I was on my back. He managed to do it without completely moving out of me. The bit that did move out he just pushed back in hard hitting my g-spot causing me to moan.

He kissed down my neck to my n*****s. He sucked on one and fondled with the other. He made me feel so good.

He stopped sucking on my n****e and it came out of his mouth with a loud pop. He raised his body by putting his weight on his hands that were on each side of me.

He started to thrust inside of me slowly but hitting my g-spot hard. He did one thrust each second he never wavered the pace.

“Faster… please.” I said out of breath.

He didn’t say anything, he just kept the same pace. Something started to build in my stomach slowly. I knew I was going to c*m. During this whole time I realized my mom probably heard me by how loud I was moaning. I couldn’t think about that though, I had to focus on getting Jake to go faster. I started to meet his trust faster but he put his hand down on my hips keeping me from moving. He was torturing me.

“I love you.” He said still going oh so slow.

“I lov-” I was cut off by the pressure building even though he was going so slow. “ I’m going to cum.” At that moment I squeezed his d**k so hard. 

I came and clenched even harder but this o****m wasn’t like the first time. It rippled through me softly and slowly making my body shiver.

His semen was leaking out of me when he pulled out of me.