Infinitely Infinite

Chapter-20

I was sitting and staring at the wing of the Boeing, aimlessly all through the flight. The flight journey made me to bounce back to our Fiji days. I didn't know how to control tears. I sat in my seat, silently controlling the rolling tears, and was trying to make and pretend that everything was okay. The airhostess came towards me, when i was wiping my tears off.

'Is everything okay? Do you need something??' she asked smilingly, in her honey voice.

'Uhmm.. Can i get some warm water? Please? ' i asked, with my sore, flu attacked throat.

' Please wait! ' she said to me smilingly again and went. She returned back in sometime, with a glass of warm water and gave it to me.

' Thank you! '

' You're welcome. Don't hesitate to let me know, when you need something! ' she said and moved away.

I sipped the glass of water, slowly after which i felt better. I'd missed him, in these three days and i am gonna miss him for the rest of my life. I am away and he is gone from me. Until then, i was very clear and sincere on what i did. It felt like leaving him and Maa and flying away was correct just because that i can't handle my feelings. I didn't want it to become a never ending one-sided love story. I didn't want to die inwardly everyday by seeing him and not holding hands or talking to him. I wanted to get rid of all these stuff. It was so hard, at that time to come back from the thing, as i was deeply drowned into Tarun. I hadn't got this much feelings, anyone else excpet him.

The tired body and worn out heart, made me to doze off. I woke up only when the flight was about to land. I helped myself to the washroom and came back to my seat hearing the announcement, to fasten the seat belts, precautiously before landing. We landed safely and after collecting my baggage, i went to the phone booth to call Anusha madam. I didn't want to embarrass or funk her by my arrival, out of the blue.

I dialled her and she attended my call in few rings.

'Ermm.. Hello, Anusha mam? ' i said in a voice and tried not to be crippled.

' Yes, Anusha here! ' she answered in her bold and brave voice.

' Madam, Heera here! ' i said.

' Hey girl! How are you? You're calling from a local number! Are you here, anywhere around?? ' she sounded enthusiastic.

' Uhmm.. Mam, i am here at the airport. If you can, tell me your residential address, i will come home by a cab. ' i said in a card carrying way.

' Don't be decorous girl! I am already driving. Will drive away and reach the airport in another twenty minutes. You halt near the Starbucks, right beside the arrival terminal! ' she said, in hurry!

' That's okay mam. You.. You actually need not ride, right now. Give me the address, i will reach home! ' i said and i actually did not want to disturb her during working hour.

' I am hanging up. Go and wait near the Starbucks! Period!! ' she finished..

' Okay okay! I am waiting. ' i chuckled. This is why, i decided myself to come to her. I knew very well that, she would take care of me like her own princess.

I was waiting, inside the café, after receiving my order of two flat white coffees with two shots of extra black coffee. Anusha mam, loves coffee and she had once told me that, these two extra shots, give an authentical south indian taste to the normal flat white coffee. With the take away bag, i was waiting beside the store and a black Volkswagen strod towards me. I soon, found out that it was Anusha mam. She opened the car door from the her side for me to leap in. I leaped into the, neighbouring seat.

'Hey, baby girl! How are you? ' she asked me, and came forward to hug me.

I went forward to get into her embrace. I then came back to my seat and she espied my face and found out that, i wasn't right minded.

'Mam,ermm.. It is complicated. A page long story. Well, not really a story but my life! ' i said and at the end and my throat clogged.

' Is everything okay between you and Tarun? I know, obviously nothing is right. That's why, you're here! ' she said and looked at me, with empathy!

' Actually.. ' i started and she turned to me. I narrated the story heavy heartedly, with full of affliction. The story of what happened in my life, in the last seven months. About the hatred, wedlock and love atlast. I knew that these rekindled feelings, that made me to sob indurately.

' Calm down Heera! So, now the problem is you feel for him and you don't want to break the rule, which both of you decided before the wedding! And you think that, he doesn't have feelings for you! ' she said and looked at me.

I raised my head and nodded up and down with tears, freely flowing down. She handed up the tissue roll to me. I wiped off the water.

' Listen, don't cry. You're not a child. I know, these feelings are too difficult to handle and overcome. But are you sure that, you're gonna stay here. I mean, away from him and your family? 'she asked, broadening her orbs.

' I am cent percent sure mam! ' i said and frowned.

She didn't tell anything after that. We gulped off the coffee and drove home from the aerodrome.

We then commuted to her home and after that anusha mam, didn't bother about her hospital. She initiated and cooked food for me and made me to eat. Then, she let me sleep for five hours. I felt like i was home, when i was with her. But still, the heart didn't stop missing Tarun. Each and every beat, emphasized only one thing. One thing that, i am clearly in love with him.

Though i missed him a lot, the very thought of he being happy without created a mixture of feelings, that lead way to a chaos. I wanted him to happy and that's why i came out of his life. I don't really want any life. Let me be the same. The same old, broken, flunkee Shrink Heera.

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That was the day, for me to remigrate to home. To the dwelling, where someone i was longing to see, resides. I was way too excited and evoked, about meeting her on that day. I and Akshay were on the flight and we were about to land.

Each and every minute, was moving too actively. I was out of my senses. I didn't plan any of the stuff, on which i should discuss to her. Oh, Tarun. Is this a business plan? To plan and talk to her? No, absolutely not. This is your life. So, just tell her everything. She might not believe you. Make her to trust you. Tell her the gospel truth, straight into her butterfly eyes.

Those eyes.. No one else can have those eyes. Those eyes were chiseled in to stare at mine,and only mine!

When i entered my home, after letting Akshay down at his house ; mom was sitting on the couch in the front. Her face bloomed, by seeing me. I got into the house, with my haversack, giving my best charming smile.

'Mom, I am home! ' i shouted.

' Tarun! Atlast, you're here! You don't know, how it was without both of you nearby. ' she said and holding my arms.

Huh, mom had missed me much! Arghh, but wait. What? Did she say,' both of you '? What both of you? So, what Heera is not here? Oh my god, oh my god. Where is she!? All my enthusiasm and intensity, embalmed themselves to death.

But where is she? I got dejected like a child finding his full box of Ferrero rockers, empty . What the!!!! My face frowned and headed down.

'Go, freshen up! And come, we'll have brunch! ' she said. Nothing came into my consideration. My mind was fully concentrating on finding out where she was. I didn't know, if i should ask mom about the whereabouts because she might get a doubt. For now, she thinks that i know about where Heera is.

I climbed upstairs, and strode into the privy after chucking my haversack. I came out and sat on my bed, and then something came into my vision. There was a, stick note left at the bedside.

I got down to the ground, by seeing it. All i was able to verbalize, by seeing the chit was only one thing. She likes me! And had got hurt by me and she had drifted away from my life, thinking that i don't feel for her. Girl, you're my world! Why did you do this to me. Hell yeah, i have hurt you! I know, i am solely responsible for this act of yours.

I didn't know! Things were too hard-won to assume. After thinking so hard, connecting the things that happened and this stick note, atlast, i came to an assumption! This assumption, became the conclusion.