Heart of the Ocean

I stood at the prow of a sleek ship, the spray kissing my face was fresh and salty. My iridescent gown was drenched, clinging to my plump curves and leaving little to the imagination. My cracked lips were in constant motion, whispering the same set of words over and over again. The words were in no language I had ever heard, soft and lilting they rolled off my tongue likes ripples in the sea. These ancient words had called up a fierce wind to catch my sails and carry my ship away. I had no notion how long I had stood there gazing at the horizon, desperately searching for the first glimpse of land. There was no sense of time here. It could have been minutes it could have been years. Why was I so desperate to find land? I felt the energy of the sea pulse in my heart and through my blood – this was where I belonged. So why was I running? Was I running from something or running towards someone? My head felt cloudy and I blinked a couple of times in an attempt to remember what I was doing. It was no use; my thoughts had begun to unravel like a cotton reel. Now the sky had turned golden yellow, like the petals of lush buttercups. No sky under God’s sun could turn such a colour. My palms became clammy with fear. Why would a yellow sky so beautiful fill me with such crippling fear?  I shook my head again. My eyes were playing tricks on me. Perhaps a spell or enchantment had placed a veil over my eyes. I realised with shock that my lips had stopped and the wind I had summoned had died. The sails lay slack and the ship sighed to a stop. I reached over the railings, desperately trying to remember the words to that beautiful, ancient spell. I stared into the depths of the water, looking for my lost words. All I saw was a set of silver eyes shinning through a gossamer white veil. There was magic and eternity in those eyes. But they were not my eyes. I gasped, shocked, and turned quickly away from the water, looking for help. I looked around for the crew, that they might help me. With a start I realised that there was no one on deck, no noise from a crew or other passengers. I was completely alone. How did that happen? Was I always alone? Fear knotted itself in the pit of my stomach. Too many unanswered questions whirled through my mind. This was all wrong. I had to keep moving. I had to… I had to what….? My head was heavy, and my knees became weak. I was freezing, standing in my soaking silver gown like some drowned fish ready to be served on a platter and my body was shaking beyond my control. My inner voice was screaming to keep moving. To stop was death.  My lips twitched, a spell trying to force its way from my mouth. Desperation giving me new strength. Suddenly, a burning hand was clamped firmly around my mouth. I felt the heat burning into my skin. Agony flashed through my body hard and urgent, contorting my face into a mask of pain. I felt my lips dry and blister in seconds. My eyes rolled wildly to the sky in a silent prayer. But no sound came from my mouth, not even a whimper. I was completely silenced and stripped of power by that burning hand. My mind screamed, railing against its sudden castration. “None of that my beauty”, breathed a terrifying voice. A powerful voice silky, rich, and irresistible. I felt the owner of that caramel voice push his face besides my own, his breath caressed my cheek and with it the pain fled my body. His power was irrefutable, his very breath having the power to heal. His other hand grabbed me roughly around the waist. I felt his muscles tighten as he pressed his body into mine in a parody of a lover’s embrace. My stomach roiled in disgust.  I kept my body still and my body soft and in inviting. I was his prey, and my instincts knew that if I resisted, he would only savour ripping my body apart. My mind was still cloudy, but my inner self was frantically working through a plan to free me now that I was free of debilitating pain. My captor took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of my ragged hair, “why do you keep testing me, my love? Have I not been generous? Have I not been benevolent?”. On his last word he threw me roughly to the deck where I feel limp. “Look at what you have become, weak and pathetic,” he growled, “I am the only one who can make you strong again. Without me, you are nothing”. He mocked. I tried to look him in the eyes, to look him squarely in the face when I told him how much he disgusted me. Instead, I only saw a silhouette of golden light with smoking, fiery edges. I quickly shut my eyes and sat dazed, watching the dancing stars behind my eyes. Instead of the barbed insult I had intended to say only a pathetic mewl escaped my lips. Again, I reached for the words of power, those sweet words that were a part of every fibre of my being, my identity, my birth right. And again, they weren’t there. My tongue tripped over itself and my lips just smacked like a weak child. The horror of my situation dawned on me. Even with my eyes screwed shut against the horrifying light tears began to fall down my cheeks. My power was spent, and I had lost. My body shuddered and convulsed as I gave in to my defeat. The glowing beat made a gentle noise as he picked me up into his arms, “There, there my love. Things will soon be set to rights. I promise I will never leave you again”. I could only curl up in his embrace as the last of my power and my inner voice silently surrendered and I became his slave once again.