Be My Wild

Linden

Deep in the woods there is an old cabin. It looks like it has been abandoned for years. It is a haven. My haven.

It is surrounded by wild. It's my home. Wild enough to hold me.

I went there where no one can find me, when I needed away. Away from my family. Away from the people who claim to care. Away from the life that I had. Away from the pain. Out there alone in my wild I am not so lonely. I am safe in my wild. I am warm. I am me.

I hide in the closet in my bedroom huddled small in the corner on the floor. Shaking trying to muffle my cries. If he finds me that's it. I just have to wait until he moves on. I can't do this anymore. Mom shouldn't be putting up with this. Parents should protect their children. Instead, she ignores me and caters to his every whim.

She used to be a good mom before dad died. We used to go camping. She used to make dinner and read me bedtime stories. But now she drinks. Now she ignores me. Now she watches as I get hit over and over again.

It was hard in the beginning after dad died. That was to be expected after all he was everything. He was a park ranger and died on the job in a storm. Mom started drinking, and then she met Brian, and she seemed happy again. Not back to normal, but she didn't seem so alone. I never liked Brian but if he made mom happy I was happy for her. But when he started to hit me in front of her, and she left, so she didn't have to see me or hear me cry. I knew that was the end of my family.

It has been like this for three years. Its only been getting worse. I knew when I walked through the door after school today was going to be bad. I should have just turned around and headed to my forest. But I didn't because I thought it would be different because it's my birthday. That'd teach me. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that I'm 16. It doesn't matter that I'm scared. It doesn't matter that I'm hungry. I don't matter to them. But I matter to me and I need to leave.

I stay hiding for hours until the noises of rage and alcohol turn into snoring. I pack my school bag like I would when we used to go camping with dad. Clothes, rope, a blanket, a knife and I steal the first aid kit from the bathroom. Without a look back at what should have been home I head into the forest. I know I won't be reported missing, I know I won't be looked for and that suits me just fine.

I walk and walk and walk until I come to a steep incline. Seeing a hunting blind up a tree I make camp there but I know that I will be leaving tomorrow. I'm not where I want to be yet. I'm not safe yet.

After a cold night of jumping awake at every sound. The sun streamed through the cracks in the boards of the blind. I climb down and start climbing up the hill. I remember everything my dad taught me out here. It was my favorite time together. Hunting, trapping, gathering food. Being his little wild thing.

Between him and my grandma, his mom, I knew the local plants and animals and survival skills. My dad took me to live out here for a month the summer before he died. I learned so much.

Fear and determination driving me i spent the next two days walking and climbing until I stumble upon a little cabin by a river. It has a moss roof and log sides. A window and a door. There is a little outhouse to the side. It looks empty and hurt like me. I know that sounds weird. But I am still healing from my last beating, I'm cold and hungry and scared. It looks like home.

4 years later...

I wake up with the sun pouring in my single window a tapping on my window greeting me. I look out to find Jay one of my crows hammering on the window looking for company. Tapping back at him, he sings out a cry. Smiling I put on my dress the one I made out of a bedsheet I found in the cabin when I first arrived.

As I step outside I greet the sun and Jay who has now been joined by Bob and Randall. The air smells like rain the wind isn't blowing yet so I still have a few hours to get things done. I get my bag and start collecting wood for the fire that I will need tonight and gather my breakfast. Jay and Bob follow me while Randall watches the house.

When I have everything I head back to my haven and set up for when I will need it. Randall calls a greeting when I step from the trees. I offer him some berries from my breakfast and go check my traps. I have a rabbit for dinner tonight. I start to clean it to make stew that way it will last more than one meal when I hear movement behind me. I turn knife out at the ready but its just Vicky my fox. She probably smells my rabbit, so I throw her a piece before I put it in the pot. I sing as I head to my cellar to find vegetables to put in my stew. Grabbing a few potatoes and carrots, from last years harvest, and the water pail I head to the river.

I wash the vegetables and fill the pail with water. Today would have been good fishing too I notice.

I head back with Bob and Randall following me while I carry my burdens. Randall and Jay are chatty things whereas Bob doesn't talk all that much. Randall can be quite mean if I don't pay him enough attention. Jay is just sassy. As I get to my haven I start not feeling weak and dizzy. I double check the berries I ate for breakfast to see if I accidentally picked and ate the wrong ones. They are edible berries so maybe it's just the storm that's coming. I decide to get everything ready to go just in case i start feeling worse. I get my fire going and put on my stew to cook. Just as I finish cleaning up it starts to rain. Good call, Linden. I congratulate myself.

I keep the door open in case the crows need out of the storm.

As the rain pours down my head starts spinning. The food isn't ready yet but I know I have to eat something. I have some leftover berries from breakfast still it won't do much but at least its something to give me strength until dinner.

I wake up to my crows squawking and flapping about the cabin. I must have passed out. I look over to see the fire is dying out. Its dark out so at least my dinner should be done. I check on it still weak on my feet. Its all cooked through. Thank goodness. I dish out a bowl for my self and pick out a few pieces of meat for the crows. I eat but still don't feel better but I add some more wood to the fire and settle in to my bed. The crows still seem agitated and restless. I hope they're OK. The door is still open, so they're not trapped in here.

I keep dozing off without meaning to. I might be worse off than I thought. Vicki is cuddling me and I notice a new figure next to me keeping me warm Lucas my wolf he took a liking to me after I untangled some fishing line from his paw a few summers ago. I snuggled in everyone seemed to need a little love tonight and there's nothing wrong with that.

I wake up to a pull in my stomach. I can't breathe. I need to get out. I need fresh air. I know its still raining but I need to be outside. I can't explain it. I stumble out of my bed. I'm still weak but the pull is getting stronger. I need to hurry. Falling through the door I collide with the mud of the ground outside. I instantly feel better. Rain hitting against my naked body hands and knees planted in the earth. I take a deep breath and look up to see a figure in the trees.

I can't make it out clearly but it's big and broad and not quite human. But human enough to scare me. I am not going back to that hell. Ever. If they've found me I won't make it easy to take me. I'm so overwhelmed by my fear and anger I feel it filling me up until I'm overflowing with the emotion and power. I see a ripple flow out of me like a wind to protect me and my animals like a dome. Even the rain isn't getting in.

The figure's eyes glow as it tilts his head observing the scene in front of it. Wait its eyes to glow?

"Not human" I manage as my eyesight narrows and goes black at I feel the earth come up to meet me.