Azil (COMPLETE)

CHAPTER XI: College Life

I thought I’m irreplaceable in your heart…

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Year 2007.

Being doubtful is what I felt the first time that I had set foot at the university that my parents has chosen for me. It was not my first choice because it’s miles away from Milena’s university. I agreed to my parents when they insisted that, so I could be a Nursing student. They wanted me to be an architect, but they will let me take the course I wanted if I enroll at the same school where my older brother graduated.

Months passed, I got lucky that I got updates about Milena again. It’s a coincidence that Sara, sister of my brother’s girlfriend, was Milena’s classmate and acquaintance. Milena took up a computer course like she dreamed of, but I couldn’t believe that she’s not a diligent student anymore. Sara said that Mi usually attended once or twice out of their five classes per week and became friends with the troublemakers at their school.

One night, my brother’s girlfriend invited me and Sara on a girl’s night out at a random bar. My heart shattered into million pieces when I saw Milena laughing with a girl then they started to make out at the middle of the dance floor. I couldn’t take the sight of her being happy with someone other than me. It looks like she moved on already and kicked me out of that special place in her heart. I ran outside and hail a cab home, completely unaware of the fact that I left Sara and her sister worried about me. When I got home, I locked myself in my room and cry myself to sleep.

The next morning, my alarm went off, but I didn’t want to attend my classes. It feels like my limbs were drained of all the energy. I closed my eyes again and my memories of being with my Milena flooded my mind. I remembered our first kiss under the mango tree and our first date at the park. The times when we hug in our sleep, whispering sweet nothings to each other, and randomly dancing in her dimly lit bedroom even if there’s no music.

“Why don't we listen to our hearts and dance without music? Just swaying our bodies with the sound of our love?”, Mi said playfully as she held me closer to her while slow dancing.

“Hey, Azil. You don’t need your parent’s approval in becoming a doctor. Fulfill your dreams. Be whoever you wanted to be. Always remember that I love you and I support you. And of course, when you successfully become a doctor, I could play Doctor-Patient game with you! Ha-ha. Kidding!”, Mi whispered in my ear and kissed me before we drifted off to sleep.

After remembering that Milena wanted me to fulfill my dream as a doctor, I got up from bed and prepared myself to school. I ignored my aching heart and focused on my studies. She’s really the source of my energy!

Year 2008.

After a tiring day from the university, an unexpected moment happened. As I was riding a jeepney back home, I saw a familiar figure at the corner seat. My heart thumped so loud at my chest. Milena’s sleeping peacefully with headphones on. Nothing has changed yet everything felt different. She’s more confident and better version of her previous self. I sat silently beside her and I once again smell her intoxicating scent and felt the warmth of her skin. Gosh. I still love her! I had the urge to hug her and tell her how much I miss her but the other part of me stopped me from doing something I might regret soon.

Before the jeepney arrived at its last stopover, I told the driver to wake up Milena after I got out then I hid at a nearby store and waited for her to wake up. When she got out of the jeepney, she went to buy and eat some food before calling a tricycle driver to bring her home.

I smiled, fate gave me the chance to have a glimpse of her marvelous beauty again.

Year 2009.

Our paths crossed once again. But this time, she’s having a date night with a girl. Jealousy took over me and ran away from them. At home, I sent her a chat message that started our heated argument. I forgot that I may still love her but I’m nothing to her now. I became depressed when she blocked me from all her social media accounts.

I started my On-The-Job Training at a medical center near our university. My mind forget about Milena for a while because I got myself busy. I’m so exhausted physically, emotionally and mentally. Dad talked to PJ again and asked him to court me properly this time. I told PJ directly that he’ll never be the right one for me, but he still insisted to obey our parent’s request. PJ started sending flowers to me at my class or at the clinic. Some of our mutual friends thought we’re already a couple. I’m a bit annoyed but I let him be so that in the end I could tell my parents that I gave him the chance they asked me, but I couldn’t feel the love that I’m looking for.

Few weeks passed, Jameya sent me a text message and asked me to hang out with her and Jessie at a mall. We bought some latest fashion trends and had a new celebrity look alike hairstyle before going to a Japanese restaurant. As we wait for our food to be served, Jameya scrolled thru her sss account. Jameya squealed as she saw Milena’s new posted pictures. She’s in a photoshoot with the girl that I saw with her at the bar. Milena effortlessly looked pretty and handsome in her shots.

Jameya send a chat message to Milena, “Hi babe!”.

I rolled my eyes, the audacity of this girl! I saw Milena typing a message, so I scooted an inch closer to Jameya. I wanted to see their conversation discreetly for Pete’s sake!

“I’m not ‘babe’ but I’m ‘your babe’ ha-ha. Hello Jameya! How are you?”, Milena replied sweetly.

“I had a great day in shopping new clothes and shoes earlier, but my day became perfect because of you. You’re still my beautiful idol!”, Jameya sent to Milena. My girl didn’t reply and Jameya pouted.

The servers gave us our food and Jessie excused herself, she said she needed to redo her makeup at the bathroom and Jameya joined her. I smiled when I noticed that she left her phone!

I unlocked her phone easily because she only uses a 1234 pin code. I saw that Milena replied, “Ha-ha. You’re still the sweet talker that I know!”

At first, I just wanted to scroll thru Milena’s profile but then my fingers quickly replied to the message, pretending that I’m Jameya, “You’re more gorgeous than ever! And I’m telling the truth!”

“Gosh! You’re prettier than me, Jameya, but thanks!”

“I’m with some of our high school friends. Want to join us?”

“Wow! A mini gathering huh? Enjoy girls!”, she replied, totally neglected to answer my invitation.

“Your Azil said ‘hi’. She wanted to meet you too.”

I saw her typing a message but there’s no message sent to me then her status went offline. I pouted. She saw my name and ignored me completely! I sighed and deleted all the messages I sent to her and because I’m irritated, I threw the phone at Jameya’s face when she sat beside me. I almost laughed at the girls horrified look.

As we walked home, Jessie tapped our shoulders and pointed at someone across the street. Déjà vu. Is it possible to have your heart broken by the same person? That’s what I felt when I saw her with the girl that I saw weeks ago! Jameya wanted to drag me along with her and Jessie to greet the couple but I told her that I need to go home early. The girls crossed the street and I saw how Milena introduced her girl to them. She really looks so happy. I turned my back away from them and hurriedly went home.

My Mom saw me crying and asked me why. I just said that I saw someone being stabbed in her chest. She wanted to console me, but I chose to lock myself in my room and hugged the last stuffed toy from my Mimi.

Year 2011.

After my college graduation, I immediately prepared for my board exam. My review took over almost six months and I used Milena as my inspiration. I needed to achieve my dream then I’ll get her back. While waiting for the results of my exam, I took a part time job at a clinic. Weeks passed, and I was so happy to know that I’m now a registered nurse. From then on, my life became too busy and boring.