Azil (COMPLETE)

CHAPTER XIII: Uncaged Feelings

Our mind could forget but our hearts wouldn’t…

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I fell asleep in the middle of watching the movie. Being in her arms again makes it up for those sleepless nights I had. She woke me up and we said goodbye to our workmates. I’m upset with the way she smiled at Sandra and Lea but when she said that she’ll bring me to her home at Cavite, my heart leaped in joy.

I was so wonder-struck when we arrived at their resort house. It’s a hidden paradise!

“Welcome to my second home.”, Milena opened the door and let me in. She explained to me that she sometimes stayed here if she wanted to relax.

She grabbed some drinks and chips before sitting beside me. She sighed, and I know she wanted me to start the talking but then I noticed her drinking a bottle of beer, “You really drink alcohol now, huh? I saw your pictures with different bottles of alcoholic drinks, but I thought it was just for fun.”

“How come you’re still updated with my life?”, she asked surprised.

Uh-oh. My tongue slipped. I took a deep breath and told her that I have my own ways and reliable sources to get some info on her. I also confessed that I knew she’s going to watch that movie and it’s only a coincidence that I had a chance to sat beside her.

I saw her clenched her jaw and gritted her teeth when I spoke about her flings. Her angry voice almost had me jumping out of my seat, “You’re the one who flirted with boys first! You got your first boyfriend before our graduation, right? After you cornered me at the library and talked nonsense explanations, the next day, you flaunted your boy drama to everyone!”

Oh. That’s the reason she avoided me after I talked to her at the library. Another misunderstanding between us. I tried to explain myself to her again but she’s still mad at me for hurting her. It’s so hard to explain myself if she couldn’t cut me some slack! I could hear the pain she’s feeling inside but she couldn’t hear mine!

I wanted to yell at her and tell her all the names of the boys and girls she flirted with! She’s the one who replaced me easily! I’m the one who should be mad at her! I bit my lip to stop myself to shout at her, my heart ache for suppressing my anger that I couldn’t help myself but to cry. Milena saw my tears and she looked away. She stopped her rant and walked away full of rage. That’s what she always does--- leaving me with my bleeding heart.

I cried nonstop until there’s no more tears left to cry. How could I make her listen to me if she’s always mad? Maybe this is my punishment of hurting her before, those times she’s begging and crying, telling me to stay but I only gave her a cold treatment.

After hours of self-pity, I decided to rummage her fridge and cooked us dinner. I made one of her favorite Filipino dishes, Shrimp Tamarind Soup. I went to her room and knocked several times but she’s not responding. Her door was unlocked so I peeked inside and saw her already sleeping. Wait… She got herself drunk?! I clicked my tongue and shook my head as I saw empty cans of beer beside her bed. I couldn’t believe that my pure and innocent baby Mimi would be a womanizer and an alcoholic. I gently touched her face and kissed her cheeks before hugging her from behind and let her warmth lulled me to sleep. I still love you Milena, I hope you feel the same way too.

The next morning, I woke up surprised by Milena’s screaming, “Hey, Eliza! what are you doing here!”

I rubbed my eyes and stretched my arms. I feel sleepy but when I saw Milena massaging her head. She’s having a migraine. I ran outside to get some water and medicine.

“Here, drink this. It will help ease the pain. You need to drink more water. It will help you to get rehydrated. Alcohol prevents hormones that retains water on your body.”

I saw her smiled. Wow! She’s nice this morning!

“So, this is how a nurse treats their patients. It’s nice to have a nurse like this. I would hire an on-call nurse. I want to marry a nurse someday. He or she could be a great partner and a great parent to our children. I will start posting a ‘For Hire’ sign later.”

My eyebrow raised. Why would she post a ‘For Hire’ sign when I’m already here?! I froze a little when Milena laid her head on my lap. What’s with her today? She’s being sweet unlike last night! I smiled at her while slowly massaging her head.

She lifted her hand and touched my cheeks, “Your eyes look tired and puffy, Miss Ugly Ellie!”

I pressed my fingers hard on her head. She’s calling me ugly?! Duh! She’s the reason why I cried so hard last night!

“Ouch! Stop it! Okay, okay! I get it! You are not Miss Ugly! You’re Miss Puffy Eyes!”

I pouted and pinched the tip of her cute nose. I blushed when she rubbed her thumb on my cheek and said in her husky voice, “Hey, Azil. I am sorry if I made you cry.”

I stared at her completely stupefied. I’m breathless because of too much sweetness from her! When I recovered from shock, I held her hands and kissed it, “I am the one who should say sorry. I’m sorry, Mimi. You were right about everything you said last night. You tried several times to win me back while I gave up on first try.”

She sighed and hugged me, “I want us to have a new fresh start. Let us start being friends again.”

What the heck?! Friends?! I love her more than that!

“Mi, I don't want to be just your friend. I want to be your girlfriend again.”, I said in disagreement.

She held my chin and looked in my eyes, “The truth is, I still care for you Eliza and a little part of me is telling me that there’s still love left. But I also feel hate towards you. I’m not ready to start a relationship with you again.” I could hear the sincerity in her voice and I don’t know if I should be happy or sad about that.

“I’ll wait for you, Mimi.”, I said with a heavy heart. I would wait for you even if there’s no chance that you’ll love me again.