Diary from Heaven

The Storm

It was September of 2005, and Arun hadn’t been to Shalu’s place for a few days as his mother was due to have surgery in a few days.

A common friend shared with Arun that Shalu wanted to be with Aniruddh because he was financially stable compared to him. Arun was very well aware of this fact and had planned to let go, but his brain was screwed up because of personal problems like; Zulu’s death and his mom’s surgery.

He couldn’t sleep and was under a lot of stress. So, he took the easy way out; he got in touch with Ronnie to get some relief. Ronnie, a generously good Samaritan that he was, graciously offered him a pouch free of cost. He wanted to retain his customer.

Arun was trying to call Shalu all day, but her phone was switched off, which was unlike her. She felt uncomfortable with her phone switched off so she would always keep it charged.

He wanted to talk to her because he was quite nervous about mom’s surgery in the evening and wanted her to accompany him to the hospital. Also, he wanted to talk to Shalu badly because he wanted to apologize to her and wanted to assure her that he will spend more time with her.

He wanted Shalu to come back to his life. Although Joseph had advised against this, but Arun still wanted to do it. It was raining cats and dogs.

Seeing Arun worried, Joseph suggested that they should go and check on Shalu because, now, even he was concerned about her as she hadn’t answered her call either. She always responded to her phone. It was as if Shalu couldn’t resist not answering her phone for anyone. Even if she hated the caller, she would answer the call, so this was indeed strange.

Nitin, Joseph and Arun went to Shalu’s place. Shalu opened the door. All three were completely wet.

She was in her nightgown and invited everyone in, smiling.

“Looks like it’s going to rain heavily today,” she said, looking at Arun and then outside.

As they entered, Joseph and Nitin were shocked to see Aniruddh comfortably sitting on the bed in his underwear, reading a newspaper. They both looked behind towards Arun, who was angrily looking at Shalu.

Arun rushed out without saying anything. Joseph and Nitin followed him, and they went back to Joseph’s house.

As they reached Joseph’s house, Arun went in the washroom and snorted some powder, came out and gulped a few shots of Old Monk; and he was out.

He woke up after a few hours. It was 7:00 PM, by now his mom would have been out of surgery.

Joseph had already left for the office, so Nitin and Arun got ready to go to the Hospital.

“She is not worth it, man; forget her,” said Nitin.

 “I wish I could turn it off, man, I really do, but I can’t control it,” replied Arun.

“Forget it, let’s go to the hospital,” Arun said.

Arun’s mom was in the recovery room. He went closer to her, scared. He was trying hard to act normal.

As he got closer to her, he touched her hand; she opened her eyes looking at Arun for a moment, and then closed her eyes. She was under the influence of anaesthesia, post-surgery.

He kissed her on her hand, stood there looking at her for a while and then left the recovery room because the attendant told him to let her rest.

They both went to Arun’s house where Nitin played a computer game in the night while Prasad prepared for them to sleep. Arun, on the other hand, was walking restlessly on the terrace.

He was angry because of what he saw at Shalu’s place. He just couldn’t get the visual of someone else sitting on her bed out of his head. He started cursing himself for getting into a relationship again.

“How stupid can you be, Arun?” he muttered.

For this first time, since he met Shalu, he could hear words from Harveen’s letter again.

“I am sorry, Harveen,” he said, covering his ears to stop the voice.

Three beds were lined up in the same room for Arun, Nitin and Prasad. His father was in the hospital with his mother.

“Come down; dinner is ready, Arun,” said Prasad.

Reluctantly Arun went downstairs. He could hardly eat anything.

“Everything all right, brother?” asked Prasad seeing Arun not eating properly.

“I am fine, just got a stomach-ache,” replied Arun trying hard to smile.

“Take five pills of Nux-Vomica, you will feel better,” said Prasad pointing towards Hardev’s homoeopathic medicine cabinet.

Post dinner, while everyone slept, Arun went back to the terrace and started walking around breathing heavily. He could still see the visual of this other guy sitting on Shalu’s bed laughing at him. He was talking to himself; and his eyes were moist with tears rolling down, now and then. He felt as if his head was about to explode. When the laughing didn’t stop, he covered his ears. He clenched his stomach tightly and got down on his knees, trying to stop himself from shouting. He was afraid that Prasad and others might wake-up. He was trying hard to control his emotions, but his brain kept playing the visual from Shalu’s place.

He went downstairs looking for his bag. He didn’t want to wake anyone, so he switched on his phone's torch. He found his bag lying near Nitin’s bed. He moved carefully, picked up his bag and rushed back to the terrace. He sat down on the floor like a child, and frantically, went through the contents of his bag. He took out the small pouch from his bag. It was the same pouch Ronnie had given him, filled with coke.

He took out a diary, poured the powder on top of the diary cover and then created two lines of the powder using a credit card. He again looked at the pouch; some of the stuff was still there. He made a smaller line next to the earlier two and threw the pouch away.

As he was about to get down to snort, suddenly a cold breeze gushed past his ears, and the visual of his father, mother, brother, sister, Harveen and Zulu went through his mind as if they all were trying to stop him from making this blunder. He realised that tears were rolling down his eyes.

With a crazed look, he said to himself: “no more crying, Arun,” and got his nose closer to the first line and breathed in to inhale the powder; it was as if he was possessed.

He felt the rush as coke entered his system. He clenched his teeth as if electricity rushed through his veins. The rush quickly turned to peace after a few seconds as he relaxed his jaw and the rest of his body. His arms fell on the floor as if they were lifeless.

A few seconds later, he pushed his body closer to the diary and quickly snorted the second line as well. The effect of the second dose was such that he felt as if he was on cloud nine. It was as if he was in Heaven now.

Arun had a strange smile on his face. Somehow, he got up and started walking close to the boundary wall looking around for someone to see and hear him.

“See? I am not crying anymore,” he announced, looking around.

By now, he was completely high and was about to lose consciousness when like a crazed animal, he snapped back and rushed back to the diary to snort the last line.

Three snorts were too much, even for Arun, and he passed out for a few minutes with a foam-like substance coming out of his mouth. He woke up wiping the foam off his lips and like a zombie walked back downstairs. He quietly sat on the bed for a while, and then finally went off to sleep, only to wake up the next morning with a complete whitewash.

...................

“Are you all right, dude?” asked Nitin getting off his bed.

‘Two years of friendship and I looked at Nitin as if I didn’t recognise him at all. My mind was completely blank; all the stress and sadness vanished along with the memory of my loved ones. I turned to drugs to find peace but ended up in pieces. I held on to the glass for a long time and paid the price.’

*****