Shredded past

A fresh start with no lies pt.1

Isaac’s POV

“Isaac, I’m—” the phone cut her off before she could complete her sentence. She closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath before sighing loudly.

I used to see her stressed over a few things in her job, but it wasn’t like now—she looked as if she was fed up with work.

“Are you okay?” I asked, and she opened her eyes, quickly nodding her head as she grabbed her phone.

“Yeah, work became very stressful and I don’t have time for myself…” she paused as she silenced her phone. “I’m fine.” She continued, tightening her grip around her phone as she grabbed it close to her lap.

“What were you about to say?” I asked, my gaze darting from her tight grip around her phone to the concern on her face.

She glanced at me, then released her phone from her grasp, returning it to the coffee table and she grabbed the towel to dry her feet as she spoke. “I’m trusting you again, but you have to work your way to make it up for me if you want us back—”

“You know I would do anything to win you back,” I cut her off with desperation in my voice and her gaze darted to mine. I know she wants to trust me, but I couldn’t dismiss the visible hesitation in her brown eyes.

But she hid it with a soft smile that vanished after my question.

“Will the truth change anything between us?”

She lifted her legs on the couch, resting her back on the arm of the couch as she stretched her legs out, placing her feet on my lap. “Hopefully, you don’t mind,” she pointed out, and I offered her a small smile, starting to massage her swollen feet.

“I would’ve told you earlier the truth, but the deeper I dug, the more I found family drama, and some messed up s**t. So, I thought lying was the way to protect you, and then you got hurt—” I was blabbering until she cut me off with the answer I was waiting to hear.

“No, the answer to your question is no… I know the truth is already horrible, and I know how dangerous Nana is. I saw what she did before when I was a kid,” she mumbled, not meeting my gaze once.

“I started to have some flashbacks from the past when I was around five years, maybe four… I was kidn*pped by her rivals. My mind just decided to forget that part. It was traumatizing for a kid… she killed people to save me.”

She lifted her gaze to mine. “Sometimes lying could give you a normal life, and Nana tried to let me have a normal childhood, but then I got older and the lies kept going on…”

“I think you got my point.” She cut it short, lowering her gaze to her fiddling fingers.

“You won’t be very surprised to hear the truth, then,” I joked, and she rolled her eyes, letting out a soft chuckle as she pulled down her sleeves, getting cozier on the couch.

“Don’t look at me like that, Isaac. Not you…” her voice broke out as she lifted her brown eyes to mine. She quickly wiped her tears, looking away so I wouldn’t know how hurt she was.

She tightened her grasp around me after I grabbed her hand. “I’m just concerned about you, Alli. I feel like I’m responsible for what happened to you-“

“I told you already it’s not you, Isaac. I was just overwhelmed with everything that has been going on lately. I’m sure Scott told you. And I didn’t think I would actually pick up the razor this time.” She cut me off, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear as she finally looked at me with red eyes, trying not to cry again.

Scott told me how she wanted to correct everything. She got Lola out of the hospital for good, and she reunited her with Scott. If he knew how she was feeling, he wouldn’t have let her leave out of his sight.

But she just pretended that she was okay and then she disappeared. A part of me hoped she would return after she was done helping her aunt.

And she never did.

“I haven't been on my meds since I left. I needed to think clearly. Maybe that’s why I relapsed,” she spoke again, trying to not make me feel guilty.

But I already had that guilt growing inside of me, feeling responsible for her. Because if I just told her how bad and messed up our families were, she wouldn’t have left… or even hurt herself.

I took a deep breath as the image of her lifeless body flashed in my head—I don’t know what I would have done if I found her like that. I gripped her hand, caressing the back of her hand with my thumb—a minimum wage to comfort my mind that she was alive and well now.

She cupped my cheek as her brown eyes locked with mine. “Everything between us happened fast, even if I had trust issues. You got into my heart in a glimpse, and then you broke my trust in a second—”

“You know I would’ve told you the minute I found it—” she cut me off because she knows what I will say, and what I noticed was that she wanted to vent her feelings out, make me listen to her reasons.

“I’m back now, Isaac. I returned because God knows even after you broke my trust I still love you—at least you wanted to tell me the truth, not like Nana, or my aunt, or mum,”

She paused for a moment, and I placed my hand on top of hers, closing my eyes as I felt her warm touch on my skin—that longing feeling I always had after she left was being buried now.

I know she hasn’t forgiven me all the way, but I was okay with winning her back because I would do anything to be with her.

To redeem myself and protect her.

I kissed her inner wrist, opening my eyes to meet her gaze. She still had tears coming up. “I don’t care how brutal the truth is, but don’t hurt me, Isaac. Don’t keep secrets from me because lies hurt, and my entire life was a gigantic lie.”

I held onto her wrist, cupping her cheek with my free hand—my thumb caressing her damp skin, feeling her tears dropping on my finger. “Cross my heart. I’ll never hurt you again, Alli,” I uttered, and her lips morphed into a small smile.

Even though I know it will take me some time to win her back, my heart was sure that she won’t leave me again.

I pulled her into my embrace and she rested her head on my shoulder—it was an awkward hug, but I felt her relax. “I promise I’ll tell you everything from now on, and will never keep a secret from you until the day I die,” I continued, breaking the silence and a small giggle left past her lips.

“I forgot how dramatic you can be,” she said as she pulled back.

“Am I really the dramatic one?” I questioned, and she rolled her eyes, resting her back on the hand of the couch.

“Let’s be honest, Izzy, you are the most dramatic person, and it’s Amelia-approved,” she said, patting my shoulder as a teasing smile rose on her lips.

“Amy said that?” I asked, and she ignored me, grabbing her phone, but I took it from her grasp, forcing her attention on me.

“I was just going to check the time,” she whined as she reached for her phone.

“Leaving too soon? I thought you could stay for the night.” The disappointment was very obvious in my tone, and her gaze met mine when she took back her phone.

“I’m staying at a hotel with Rafael until my house is ready, and I was going to bring this up after our conversation—” she stopped from completing her sentence to correct herself. “Not that I’m leaving again. I just want us to take things slow.”

“Fine, we will do it your way, no pressure in that,” I agreed to her words, knowing already that this would’ve happened, anyway.

“Want us to have this conversation now? Or maybe tomorrow when you get enough rest from your flight?” I asked, and she began to move her gaze off me, spacing out as she thought.

“I believe I’m ready,” she answered, her determined brown eyes locked with mine, and I nodded, taking in a deep breath as I began.