CHAPTER 12: Baking and Breaking
1249 Words
Maya's Pov
Sophie pulled out every baking ingredient in the kitchen like she was preparing for war. Flour, sugar, butter, chocolate chips, sprinkles in six different colors.
"Okay, we're making three kinds of cookies," she announced. "Sugar cookies, chocolate chip, and snickerdoodles. Maya, you're on sugar cookies with me."
I tied on the spare apron Sophie tossed me and washed my hands. Baking. I could handle baking. Staying busy. Not thinking about Derek, who'd been avoiding me for three days straight.
"So," Sophie said, measuring flour. "You've been super quiet lately. What's going on?"
"Nothing. Just tired."
"You keep saying that. But I know you, Maya. Something's wrong." She looked at me directly. "Is it your ex?"
"No. I'm fine. Really."
"You don't seem fine. And Dad's been weird too. He's been sleeping in his workshop. Did something happen between you two?"
My heart stopped. "What? No. Why would you think that?"
"Because you guys were getting along great and then suddenly you can't even look at each other."
"We're fine. He's just busy with your Christmas present."
Sophie didn't look convinced but dropped it. "Okay. But I'm here if you need to talk."
The guilt hit like a wave. Here was Sophie, worried about me, and I was lying straight to her face about having feelings for her father.
We spent the next hour mixing dough and cutting shapes. Sophie sang along to Christmas music. And I tried to focus on anything except Derek.
The back door opened and Derek walked in, covered in sawdust. He stopped when he saw us, his eyes landing on me for a split second before looking away.
"Smells good in here," he said.
"We're making cookies! Want to help?" Sophie asked.
Derek hesitated, then sighed. "Okay. Let me wash my hands."
Sophie put him on rolling duty, which meant he was standing right next to me. Close enough that I could smell sawdust and his cologne.
"So Dad," Sophie said casually. "Maya seems sad. Do you know why?"
I nearly dropped the cookie cutter.
Derek's hand stilled. "No. Why would I know?"
"You guys spent time together. I thought maybe she'd mentioned something."
"She seemed fine to me."
His voice was so neutral. So empty. Like I was a stranger.
"Well, something's wrong," Sophie continued. "She's my best friend. I want her to be happy."
"I'm sure she's fine, sweetheart."
Sophie turned to me. "But you'd tell me if something was really wrong, right? You trust me?"
I met her eyes. Saw the genuine concern. The complete faith that I would never lie to her.
"Of course I trust you," I said, adding another lie to the pile. "You're my best friend."
Derek rolled out more dough. Neither of us looked at each other.
"Maya, can you pass me the flour?" Derek asked, his tone polite. Distant.
I handed it to him. Our fingers brushed and electricity shot through me. Derek pulled back quickly.
Sophie glanced between us. "Okay, seriously. What is happening? The vibe is so weird."
"Nothing's happening," Derek said.
"Everything's fine," I added.
"You guys keep saying that but you're both acting super strange. Did you have a fight or something?"
"Sophie, drop it," Derek said firmly. "Nothing happened. We're fine."
Sophie's eyes widened. Derek never used that tone with her.
"Sorry," she said quietly. "I was just worried."
Derek's face softened immediately. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap." He pulled Sophie into a hug. "You're sweet to worry about Maya."
Over Sophie's shoulder, Derek's eyes met mine for the first time in days. There was so much in that look. Regret. Longing. Guilt.
Then he looked away and the moment was gone.
We spent the next hour decorating cookies. Sophie made elaborate designs. And I mechanically covered cookies in frosting, too aware of Derek across the table.
"This one's for you, Dad," Sophie said, holding up a star cookie. "Because you're the best."
"Thanks, sweetheart. I'll treasure it forever."
They smiled at each other, this easy father-daughter affection that made my chest ache. This was what I was threatening.
What kind of person was I?
"I need some air," I said abruptly, setting down my frosting.
I grabbed my coat and escaped outside. The cold air hit my face like a slap.
My phone buzzed. Derek.
"Sophie says you're feeling lonely lately. That your dad leaving still hurts. I'm sorry. You deserve better than that. Better than all of it."
I stared at the message. This was the first time he'd texted since calling us a mistake.
My fingers moved before I could stop them.
"Do I deserve better than you pushing me away without explanation? Do I deserve better than feeling like I imagined everything between us?"
Three dots appeared. Disappeared. Appeared again.
Finally: "You deserve someone who isn't a mess. Someone who won't hurt you. Someone who isn't your best friend's father."
Maya: "That's not an explanation. That's an excuse."
Derek: "It's the truth."
Maya: "The truth is you're scared. We both are. But at least I'm not pretending it doesn't exist."
The dots appeared and disappeared for a full minute. Then nothing.
"Maya?"
I spun around. Derek stood a few feet away, his coat thrown on. His breath formed clouds in the cold air.
"What are you doing out here?" I asked.
"Sophie was worried. Sent me to check on you."
We stood there in the falling snow, five feet between us.
"I meant what I said in the text," Derek said quietly. "You deserve better than this. Better than me."
"Stop telling me what I deserve. I can decide that for myself."
"Can you? Because from where I'm standing, you're settling for someone who can't give you what you need."
"I don't care about any of that." I took a step closer. "You want to know what I care about? I care that you made me feel safe. That you taught me to ski with more patience than I've ever experienced. That you listened like what I said actually mattered. That you looked at me and saw me, really saw me."
Derek closed the distance in two steps. "I do see you. That's the problem. I see you so clearly it terrifies me."
"Then stop running from it."
"I'm trying to protect you…"
"I don't need protecting. I need honesty."
We stood inches apart now, snow falling around us, both breathing hard.
"Maya," he said, my name rough. "If I'm honest, if I tell you what I really want, there's no going back."
"Good. I don't want to go back."
His hand lifted, almost touching my face, then dropped. "We can't do this here. Not where Sophie could see."
"Then where?"
"I don't know. But not here. Not now." He stepped back. "Go inside. Before Sophie comes looking."
"Derek…"
"Please. Just go inside."
I turned and walked back to the house, feeling his eyes on me the whole way.
When I reached the door, I looked back. Derek still stood there in the snow, watching me.
Then I went inside, and he walked back to his workshop.
That night, I lay in bed staring at my phone.
At 11:47 PM, it finally buzzed.
Derek: "Can't meet tonight. This was a mistake. I'm sorry."
I stared at the words until they blurred.
Across the yard, the light was still on in his workshop.
He was right there and completely unreachable.
He'd made his choice.
And I was the mistake he was sorry for.
- Writer
