Forbidden Christmas

CHAPTER 15: Breaking Point

Maya's Pov

I sat on my bed at eight forty-five, car keys in my hand, staring at my reflection in the mirror. My heart pounded so hard I could hear it.

In fifteen minutes, I was supposed to meet Derek at the construction site. Alone. Away from the house. Away from Sophie.

My phone buzzed. Sophie.

"Movie night! We're watching Home Alone. Get down here!"

My stomach dropped. How was I supposed to sneak out during movie night?

I texted back: "Headache. Think I need to sleep it off."

Sophie: "Want me to bring you Advil?"

Maya: "No, I already took some. Just need to lie down in the dark."

Sophie: "Feel better! Love you!"

The guilt was crushing. I turned off my bedroom light and waited, listening to the sounds of the movie starting downstairs. Laughter. Sophie's voice. Home.

At eight fifty-five, I crept down the back stairs and out through the mudroom. My car was parked on the side of the house. I'd purposely left it there this morning instead of in the garage.

The drive into town took twenty minutes. The whole time, my hands shook on the steering wheel. I could still turn around. Could text Derek that I changed my mind. Could go back to my room and pretend this wasn't happening.

But I kept driving.

The construction site was dark except for one light on inside. Derek's truck was parked on the side street like he'd said. I pulled in behind it and sat there for a full minute, trying to breathe.

This was it. Once I walked in there, everything changed.

I got out of the car and walked to the entrance. The building was still unfinished, walls up but no doors yet. Just empty frames. Inside, temporary lights cast long shadows across the concrete floor.

Derek stood in the middle of the space, hands in his pockets. He'd changed from his ski clothes into jeans and a henley. His hair was slightly damp like he'd showered.

"You came," he said.

"Did you think I wouldn't?"

"I wasn't sure. Gave you a lot of time to change your mind."

I walked toward him, my footsteps echoing in the empty space. "I almost did. About fifty times on the drive here."

"But you didn't."

"No."

We stood there facing each other, maybe six feet apart. The air between us felt charged. Electric. Heavy with everything we'd been holding back.

"I've been going crazy," Derek said quietly. "All day on the slopes, having to keep my hands on you for legitimate reasons when all I wanted was to hold you for no reason at all."

"I know. Me too."

"Sitting next to you at lunch, Sophie right there, pretending everything was normal."

"It was torture."

"Maya." He took a step closer. "Before we do this, I need to know you understand what you're getting into. This isn't just attraction. This isn't just some forbidden thing that's exciting because it's wrong."

"I know that."

"Do you? Because once we cross this line, we're lying to Sophie. Every day. Every conversation. Every time she looks at us and trusts us, we're betraying that trust."

"I know."

"And it might not work. We might realize this was all just fantasy. That the reality of us doesn't match what we've been imagining."

"I know that too."

"Then why are you still here?"

I took a step closer, closing the distance between us. "Because the alternative is worse. Walking away. Spending the rest of my life wondering what if. Never knowing if this could have been something real."

Derek's hand lifted, hovering near my face. "I'm going to hurt you. Eventually. I don't know how or when, but I will. I'm broken in ways I haven't even figured out yet."

"Then we'll be broken together."

His hand finally touched my cheek, cupping it gently. His thumb traced along my cheekbone. "I don't deserve you."

"Stop deciding what you deserve. Let me decide what I want."

"What do you want?"

"You. This. Whatever this is, I want it."

Derek pulled me closer with his other hand, his fingers threading through my hair. We were inches apart now. So close I could feel the heat coming off his body.

"If we do this," he said, his voice rough, "I'm not going to be able to pretend anymore. I'm not going to be able to look at you in that house and act like you're just Sophie's friend."

"So don't."

"Maya…"

"Kiss me. Please. I'm tired of talking about all the reasons we shouldn't. Just kiss me."

Something broke in his expression. All that careful control, all that distance he'd been maintaining, it shattered.

Derek's mouth crashed against mine.

The kiss was nothing like I'd imagined. It wasn't gentle or tentative. It was desperate. Hungry. Like he'd been holding back for so long that he couldn't be careful anymore.

His hands were in my hair, on my face, pulling me closer. I grabbed his shirt, holding on like I might fall without him. The kiss deepened and I made a sound I didn't recognize, something between a gasp and a moan.

Derek pulled back just enough to breathe. "God, Maya."

Then he was kissing me again. Walking me backward until my back hit the wall. His body pressed against mine, solid and warm. One hand braced against the wall beside my head, the other still tangled in my hair.

I'd been kissed before. Jake had kissed me hundreds of times over three years. But this was different. This was consuming. This was the kind of kiss that made you forget where you were, who you were, everything except the person touching you.

When we finally broke apart, both breathing hard, Derek rested his forehead against mine.

"That was…" he started.

"Yeah."

"We're in so much trouble."

"I know."

He pulled back to look at me, his hand still cupping my face. His eyes were dark, intense. "I meant what I said last night. About being sure. Because after that, there's no going back for me."

"I'm sure."

"Maya, I'm falling for you. Not just attracted. Not just interested. Falling. And it terrifies me."

My heart did something complicated in my chest. "Good. Because I'm falling for you too."

Derek kissed me again, softer this time. Slower. Like he was trying to memorize the feel of it. When he pulled back, he took my hand and led me to the center of the room where he'd laid out blankets and pillows.

"You planned this," I said.

"I hoped. Didn't know if you'd actually come." He sat down, pulling me down beside him. "We need to talk. About rules. About how we handle this."

"Okay."

"No one can know. Not yet. We need time to figure out if this is real before we blow up Sophie's world."

"Agreed."

"Which means we have to be careful. No texting things that could be misinterpreted. No long looks across the dinner table. No sneaking around the house."

"So how do we see each other?"

"Like this. We meet when Sophie's asleep or occupied. We make excuses. We lie." He said the last word with disgust.

"I hate lying to her."

"Me too. But it's the only way to protect her until we know what this is."

I leaned my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close. We sat like that for a while, just breathing. Just being together without walls between us.

"Tell me something," Derek said. "Something real. Something you don't tell people."

"Like what?"

"Anything. I want to know you. The real you, not just the version you show the world."

I thought about it. "I'm terrified of being abandoned. Not just scared. Terrified. Every relationship I've ever had, I've held back because I was waiting for them to leave. And when they did, I could tell myself I was right. That I knew it all along."

"That's why you never let Jake in."

"Yeah. And all the guys before him. I keep people at arm's length so it hurts less when they go."

"Except you're not keeping me at arm's length."

"No. I'm not. Which is why this terrifies me. Because you could actually hurt me. Really hurt me. Not just disappoint me or prove me right. Actually break me."

Derek's arm tightened around me. "I don't want to break you."

"But you might. And I might break you. That's the risk."

"Your turn," I said. "Tell me something real."

Derek was quiet for a long moment. "I'm afraid I'm exactly who Catherine said I was. Boring. Predictable. The kind of man someone tolerates but never really wants."

"You're not boring."

"How do you know? You barely know me."

"I know that you built this entire building with your own designs. I know you taught me to ski with more patience than I've ever experienced. I know you carved a bookshelf for Sophie by hand because you wanted her to have something special. I know you make me feel seen in a way no one else ever has."

Derek turned to look at me. "You make me feel alive. Like I've been sleepwalking for five years and suddenly I'm awake."

"Then we're not boring. We're awake."

He kissed me again. Slower this time, deeper. His hands moved down my sides, pulling me closer. I shifted to face him, my hands going to his hair.

This was real. This connection, this pull between us. It wasn't just forbidden excitement or rebellion. It was real.

We spent the next hour talking and kissing, learning each other. Derek told me about growing up with demanding parents. I told him about my mother's remarriage. He showed me the architectural plans for the building. I told him about the marketing campaign that almost got me fired.

Around eleven, my phone buzzed. Sophie.

"Feeling better? The movie was great. You missed Kevin booby-trapping the house."

Guilt crashed through me