The Man that Bit Me

Inspiration

    I wake back up again at 4 p.m. and shake my head. Caspian is sitting at the end of the bed with his head in his hands. I try not to let him notice that I am awake and quickly close my eyes again. I replay the conversation we had just hours earlier and again the same pang hits my chest. Why is it so hard to want to leave this man? He has done nothing but hurt me. At the same time I feel a small tenderness beginning to grow towards him. I hate what I said to him I didn't really mean it, but at the end of the day I am still planning on leaving. I don't want to leave with him resenting me though, I make the decision to apologize and try to get back into his good graces. I sit up and notice Caspian is not sitting at the end of the bed anymore, I look around the room and he's nowhere to be found. Where Caspian was sitting I see the tray of food that I know is for me, with it a note. Even from here I can see the singular word displayed on the note, 'EAT'. I take a deep breath and bring the tray up to my lap and dig in. I haven't ate in 24 hours and am just wolfing down this food. I sense a movement and notice a man standing in the corner of my room. I know it's Caspian and ignore his presence until I am done with this food. I quickly finish it along with the water and place the tray back to where he left it. I let a loud sigh out and act as if I don't notice him and get out of bed. I stretch my arms again and touch my toes while hearing multiple cracks. I lift my head back up and meet Caspians gaze staring daggers directly into my eyes.     

    I shake my head trying not to make eye contact with an upset Caspian. Although his eyes are not a blood red I can sense the anger bubbling. Instead, I take a deep breath and try to side step him and again fail. "Caspian," I state, "I am sorry for my behavior earlier. I didn't mean all that I said I was just hurt, angry, and sad over the whole thing. If you wanted to build me a studio I will gladly accept and appreciate it." I say with all the sincerity I can muster. I look up and he is still staring at me with that glare and this time I don't back down. We stand there like that for what seems like to me hours, but was merely seconds. I can't hold it anymore so I look away and stalk towards the balcony. I need fresh air and away from him. I make it out there and stop in my tracks. The whole balcony is completely covered in wild flowers. I see little mason jars filled with what looks like lightening bugs, but are just little lights hanging in the air. The smell of mint wafts through the air strongly and I bring my hands to my face to quickly wipe the tears. I turn around and see Caspian stiff as stone, "I'm sorry I took you away from everything. There will be nothing to make up for that, but I hope this helps even just a little." And he turns around quickly and heads back into the bedroom and out the door. 

    Turning back around towards the balcony I feel a pang of regret hit my heart. I know very well how much I hurt him and how much he is trying to cover it up. But this is just beautiful. This various types of blue and black and everything between flowers are just breath-taking. I just don't understand how these sad looking flowers can look so beautiful and magnificent in this light. Everything here is just remarkable. I stand there and take everything into account and head towards the canvas to finish my painting. Two hours pass and I finish it and can't contain my joy. I jump up from my painting area and clean all the brushes and paint that dropped on the balcony. Everything turned out exactly how I wanted it and even the flowers I was struggling with earlier turned out even better than I thought. All because of what Caspian did for me, looking at all the flowers around me gave me enough inspiration and joy to put that on the canvas. I head back into the room with my canvas and write a note, "This was all because of you!" I stick the note on the canvas after the paint had dried and leave it in his part of the closet. Maybe this will be enough of an apology for him to forgive me. I heave a sigh as he walks back into the room. 

    The next morning I wake up and it's only 8:15 a.m. since I went to bed at a reasonable hour I was actually able to wake up. I look over and Caspian is already gone again. I take another mental note that he's gone even before 8 a.m. Well this is going to be difficult because wow I hate waking up early, but I am going to need all the time I can in order to escape. I do my usual morning stretches and put my feet against the cold marble floor. I bring them back up to bed and try to warm them even a little. I look towards the fireplace and realize it's not on, this place is all completely freezing. I wrap a blanket around me as I race towards the bath and thankfully its full and waiting for me to step in. I essentially cannonball into there, not wanting to touch anything cold. Almost half of the water is on the ground now and I am inwardly curing at myself. I sit there and quickly wash my body and head towards the closet. I find an outfit that closely resembled the one from yesterday, only this time the trousers are white and my shirt is black. I braid my hair back this time where it reached the middle of my back and even put some of the black flowers in my hair. I really like the way I look in these types of clothes, they make me feel more empowered than usual. I take a step for the door when I remembered the canvas I hid for Caspian to find last night. I jog towards his closet and see the canvas is gone. I smile and wonder what in the world he could have done with it.