The Man that Bit Me

Painting Studio

    I finally open my eyes and look at the clock and see it is 11 a.m. I sit up and stretch my arms and legs. I sit there until my eyes adjust to the usual dimness. I look beside me and see no Caspian and just shrug my shoulders. He's the King after all, he has other business to attend to than just me. I feel a slight pang of jealousy over that though, but quickly relax and allow that thought to slide off my shoulders. 'Who cares who Caspian sees, and who cares what he's doing right now. I just need to focus on myself, and my mission to escape. Until then I need to get myself cleaned up.' I sit up in the bed after stretching my body and getting acclimated to the usual darkness of this region. As I pass the desk the smell of mint hits me like a truck. I quickly turn around and see the wild flowers I threw on the ground yesterday sitting in a plain vase. Right beside the vase is a note, I pick up the note and quickly realize whose handwriting it belongs to, 'Although they won't last forever I'll make sure you always have fresh flowers --Cas'. My heart flutters at the sentiment and I quickly drop the note and rush to the bathroom to start my grooming process. As I soak in the bath I go through all that happened yesterday with the the forest, the village, the boy, and then in the bed. I hide my face and become flustered at the thought of having s*x with Caspian. 'I have to get out of here fast. I mean where did these thoughts even come from? Why are they of him, maybe in the mornings is the opportune times to escape for awhile and see if there is any way out, or any person out there willing to help me. Maybe that man who carried me the first day!  But how would I find him? I think to myself. I didn't realize the time until I hear the door to our bedroom open and know immediately it's Caspian. I take note that it's about 12:30 p.m. if I can somehow figure out his schedule that will make it so much easier to escape and leave Caspian following my shadow.

    I quickly scrub my body and get out. The last thing I want is Caspian coming in here just to have a casual conversation while I am nude in the tub. The things that guy makes me feel is unreal and I wouldn't be able to trust myself with him towering over me while I am in the tub. I wrap my body up and make my way to the closet. This time I choose trousers and a long white free flowing shirt. I am tired of dresses and this will make me feel more comfortable. I go to the sink and began washing my face and brushing my teeth. I tie my straw-berry hair back and notice this glow on my face. My lips have become fuller and my skin has become shinier. When did that happen? I shake off the confusion and walk out the door. Caspian in his usual elegantness is standing in front of the bed with his back facing me. I pass him and stalk towards the balcony acting as if I didn't even register his existence. I hear his footsteps following me and I just walk towards the end of the balcony and turn around. Why did I let him corner me like this? When I face him I notice he has a tray of food and water for me. My stomach instantly growls and I even feel a bit of drool escape my mouth. I quickly wipe it and act as if nothing just happened. Now he's lowering his face trying not to show me the laughter he's trying so hard to contain. "Well," I begin, "is there something I can help you with?" He looks back up abruptly as if I just slapped him and takes a deep breath, "Well even a kitten needs to eat. Here you are, if you need anything just ask for it love. I will be in the room." I just shake my head as he places the food right next to my chair in front of the canvas. He knew my intentions exactly. I took the canvas with my artwork I started earlier, but never finished and place it by the hammock. I grab a new one and mentally decide whenever I am fuming next time I will finish that painting, but for now I want to recreate that forest entrance. 

    I begin with the background being a midnight black and focus on where I want to begin. As I sit there and work on my landscape I find myself stuck. No matter how attentively I try to recreate the opening I just can't get the roses around it. I can't remember their placement exactly or the colors in which they were. I get up and suddenly feel a chill on my back, I turn around quickly and see freaking Caspian right behind me. I freeze and try to hide my work. "What are you doing?" he almost whimpers. "Well, I don't like being watching and as embarrassing as it is for me I am kind of shy of my work. I have never had someone watch me while I paint. Back home I had my own studio and I had it all to myself." I respond. He just moves his hand to his chin as if he's thinking. He stays there for a moment like that and looks back to me quickly. "I'll have a room added on that will turn into your studio." I just look at him in awe and regret. "No," I quickly state, "my studio had many windows where I could see the outside and find inspiration when I needed. It was my own safe place, this wouldn't be like that." I say sadly remembering my favorite place in the whole world. I sit there for a moment and remember everything about that place. All the times I wanted to be alone, when I was crying from something my parents made me do, or when a villager said a rude comment. The list goes on, but that was the place I felt safest. I begin to sob without warning and double over. Caspian is quickly at my side and I realize I am just mourning the loss of one of my most beloved places in the world. How could I have forgotten such a comforting place, maybe with everything going on I just didn't have the time to think about stuff like that. I am holding my chest as I cry out for the only place I could be me without the title, without the pressure, without anything. I was completely and full myself. Caspian rubs his hand up and down my back whispering insignificant nothings into my ear to try to help me calm down. I just shake my head and take a deep breath. 'Save this anger and sadness,' I tell myself, 'It's all his fault I am not home anymore, it's his fault I can't see my family, go to my studio, or see any of my villagers. Everything links back to him.' 

    Caspian keeps rubbing my back and I hear him murmur an apology. I stiffen and my heart begins to race, "Are you f***ing kidding me!" I roared, "Even in my most vulnerable moment you are listening to my thoughts! You talk of me loving you, but Caspian how in the world will I ever be able to trust you with you intruding on my every thought!" I directed everything I was feeling back towards him, "I will never love you! In fact I vow to never ever love you for the monstrous creature that you are! You have taken everything from me and I promise to do the same to you one day! I hate your very existence! When you said I'd be the death of you, you were absolutely right! I am going to f***ing kill you one day, I promise!" I begin to weep at the end. My heart feels like I was just stabbed and now it is beginning to twist. I fall to the ground clutching my shirt and holding my chest. All the while Caspian is just rocking me in his arms back and forth. "I know, baby, I know." He whispers, "I will do anything in the world to make you smile again." With that I pass out from pure exhaustion.