The Debutante Coyote

1 PROLOGUE MERMAN AT THE SEAWEED BALL Mermen at the Seaweed Ball is Macabre. It is a poor attempt at bringing humor to a situation that absolutely has none. As though it could not be worse..And I have just proven that it can be worse...people could be laughing at it....or worse even than that...trying to laugh at it and failing in a fizzle of flat pathos... But the final word on this topic ...for the worst that it can get...is when there is zero humor in a situation ..a situation...so grim, as to warrant no possible levity whatsoever...and then, that situation is totally ignored...left completely unacknowledged. So that it would seem to an onlooking child , unworthy of mention or of notice.....at all……..INCONSEQUENTIAL.... Being of no consequence... How Horrid. And so difficult to wrap the mind around the meaning of this. To grasp the hollow reality of this concept when fully fleshed out. Allow me to show you what I mean.... To clarify my observation , allow me to tell a tale of the sea. True or false? Only the ocean can say...and she won’t. Trust me on that. The oceans of our Mother carry no tales....and her secrets are endless. For example...are there really mermaids down there? I know, that there are , in fact , mer MEN.... How do I know this?... you ask…. I know because I met one...in the flesh....and his flesh was soggy indeed. But I get ahead of myself…. A long time ago , prior to the event known as 9/11, there existed in Mexico… TOURISM. And due largely to this fact...Baja California prospered.2 Economically speaking....Tijuana and its ensuing peninsula was an open portal for dollars from the U.S. to pour into Mexico... After the event known as 9/11, however...this influx of financial paper abruptly HALTED...and many of the residents thereof , suddenly found themselves faced with NO INCOME. And I , unfortunately , found myself amongst them. Prior to this event I had managed to subsist on a tiny and sporadic income that I generated legally , through the small art supply store that I opened . HECHO A MANO… where I had in my employ, my partner and friend… Miriam. We sold art supplies of all types. Silk threads and yarns for embroidery or needle arts , brushes and sponges and palettes for painting , charcoal , pencils , acrylics , oils , canvas , stencils , sketch pads , watercolors , clay , markers , chalk , pastels , solvents , linseed oil , paper , leather , beads , wire , glazes , woodcarving tools , how-to books , collectables , antiques , frames , inks , poster boards , ribbons , glitter , glues , swatches of material , knitting needles , tattoo supplies , etc. We also sold anything handmade by anybody at all. Bent wire and stones formed ants and scorpions , cement and stones and shells were turtles and frogs and gum wrappers made model cars and handbags. Oddities. Everything handmade was on consignment. Encouraging local artists to reveal their light hidden beneath a bushel. Encouraging creative expression by all , on a local level . A child could present me with an innocuous lump of dried play dough , and I would in turn, present that child with a consignment receipt invoice, and then put said sculpture in the display window for sale, at whatever price the seller wanted....from which I took ten per cent. We had coffee going, and whoever worked in the store was usually doing art of interest while on shift...so many locals would stay and chat a while , giving the store an air of popular patronage that made the tourists curious to check it out. Legal to the gills I was too !3 Back then, I had a clean criminal record , a car and a passport. I had formed my own Mexican corporation , of which I am the president. I have my own tax ID number that I can use to buy wholesale anything. Thats right! If it can be used in any type of arts or crafts , or has to do with any type of antique, collectable or artifact....I can legally purchase it , possess it, or import and export it. Do you have any idea what all can be categorized under the heading of craft? Chemicals for photography and tanning . Lumber , designs , tools , gems , metals , equipment and you name it ! I have the green light on it for any trading purpose. And though I did not have a work visa , I did have an amended residential fm3, stating that I could be in Mexico for extended periods of time to oversee my investments, as the business owner. Then I made Miriam...who was also my corporate secretary...a birth certificate that she used to legally migrate to Mexico ; so that now, she does have the legal right to work here, and is a naturalized citizen. This was my first ever self-made, owned and operated legal business , of which I was very proud. I would never have managed this alone , and I owe a big thank +you, to both Miriam and my Mother, for helping me. The store gave me a measure of respectability in the town, that I was in dire need of at the time as well. Due to some scandalous adventures and high profile drama that had occurred a year or so prior...and for which I was quite infamous , and occasionally hunted, by a variety of groups. That , however , is a story for another day. Anyway...after 9/11 occurred...tourism vanished , and along with it vanished ninety percent of my customers. Generating income LEGALLY was much more difficult now. Especially without a proper work visa. I had already dabbled in some of the less legal ways to earn, but I was reluctant to take that route again just yet. However, those experiences had left me with a working knowledge of how to navigate the waters of this coast and its immediate ports of entry ...as well as how to drive a fishing boat...although I did not own one myself. A prior associate and others like him, had been in contact with me trying to give me work chartering for them....but I had declined already several times for my own reasons. Then one of them had an idea that I liked....and I accepted the proposal. I would go to boat auctions and act as a buyer for people who could not cross the border4 into the U.S. , and then I would deliver the boat to the buyer...usually by driving it down on the water. Many boats were in sales at this time , because the owners could no longer afford the dock fees and had become delinquent in their payments for the slip or the mooring ball. These sales often did not include the boat trailer and required immediate evacuation of the boat slip at the marina...so it was easiest to just drive it on out of there...and head south to deliver it. I had skipper status which covered insurance and emergency towing...and although I was hardly what you would call a seasoned sailor...I was brave and broke and beautiful...and the waters of our Mother were badass bitchin’...just like me...changeable...unpredictable...strong and kind and full of life...mostly. 0 I saw lots of this ocean life on my handful of trips delivering boats to buyers too. Fish and birds of all types. Close encounters with whales and porpoises and birds....often too tired to fly on a windy day out there....getting swept further from shore ....would land desperate and exhausted and eyeing me warily ..on the alert for any sudden moves...upon the railing or the lines...stealing passage closer to shore...or at least to the islands that I must pass on my way. My route went outside of these islands ideally. Inside of them was shorter in distance...but had higher risks for boaters running on an out board motor. One of these risks was seaweed...drifting about in large conglomerations of lengthy and tangled rubbery vines. This stuff could easily strangle the propeller and burn out your motor . Especially if there were any plastic bags caught up in it , which was common. There was a lot less of it on the outside of the three tiny islands known as the Coronados . The smallest of the three is actually just a glorified rock , covered in pelicans and pelican poop, making it all white , so that it appears to be a beautiful , misplaced , miniature glacier. Although it is hard to pick a favorite from the different types of wildlife experiences that our Mother blessed me with while I was out there , one major contender for first place would certainly be the dolphins. Large schools of maybe a thousand or so would suddenly appear...jumping and leaping out of the waves quite merrily in the distance. In pairs synchronized, or alone flying high and diving smoothly back under without even a splash on re - entry...only to leap immediately back out again , honking their laughter at me in high pitched whistles .5 But in a friendly way most assuredly. Then suddenly closer...and all around you...surrounding your boat and racing your . Easily keeping up to speed , or winning the race, and mocking you for the loser by jumping across the bow, recklessly close, while you are tearing along at full throttle!!! Then swimming within inches of your hull, just underneath the surface...turned sideways and grinning at you , one eye and one flipper flashing upwards...like a wink and a wave. So close , and often with little ones right at their side , so shiny and bright and blue, that you must choke out your motor to get it off as fast as possible...in terrified certainty that one of them is going to be chopped up by your prop !!! Which of course never happens , since these animals know exactly what they are doing, and are happily f*****g with you for their own entertainment !! But in a friendly way, most assuredly. I used to sit there for hours trying to outwait them , back when I wasn’t as knowledgeable , not willing to start the outboard again until they were gone. And it seemed quickly that they were...since they vanished from sight fast enough , and only jumped out of the waves far off in the distance, as I bobbed there silently for a minute. But the second I started that motor...there they were!!!! All around me by the hundreds...just waiting to race again....and boy did we race out there too! I have raced them with a fifty horsepower Johnson...a two hundred h.p. Evinrude , ancient and loud as hell , and several others. All the way up to the two synchronised Yamaha two fifty’s ...and you know what ? I LOST EVERY RACE ! And I never even came close to catching one in my prop....thank heavens !!! Amazing and lovable creatures...they are for me always a welcome sight ; and almost always they came when I was going south. Not hardly at all if I was northbound. On a few occasions, they were my only company for days ; and needed company too. Saving me from disheartened lonely despair when I was close to tears and stranded , adrift with no radio...just waiting for the current to deliver me to Ensenada ; and trying to stay awake so I did not miss my arrival and end up on a much longer trip...as the currents next land stop is f*****g Japan !!!6 They know all about the merman that I met that one day...because they were there too. I’m sure that they had been playing with him too that day...because that was one exhausted merman !!!! So there I am , racing the clock ...just before sunset. With miles still to go...and uneasy in the knowledge that the destinations marina had an unmarked jetty and shifting rocks. The outboard roaring at full throttle was drowning out all other noise and the wind had a nipping chill that made my eyes water , impairing my vision considerably. My hands on the wheel had long since gone numb and would have to be forcibly pried out of the death grip I had kept on it for the last half hours hard driving. About ten minutes had passed already since the dolphins had first appeared to race alongside...keeping me up to speed. I was on the outside of the islands, but just barely...trying to trim some time off the journey and shorten distance. Usually there would be a coast guard vessel just off the north end of the first island...the most northern of the three. Today there was not. As I approached the last of the three...I was looking hard at it for any signs of its inhabitants. I knew people lived there...but had never actually seen any of them. Today I was closer than I had ever been before and was hoping to see SOMETHING move over there...but no. Nothing moved. A few birds flying about only. Turning my wet face back into the wind, I saw the seaweed ball just in the nick of time to veer hard to the right and miss running it over. SHIT!!! I cut the motor with my fumbling frozen fingers still bent and too stiff to unbend yet. Seaweed, for the most part, is made up of long flat slippery ribbons and corded vines, that float on the surface of the water and hang down in a tangled jungle for yards and yards down below it...often all the way to the ocean floor. The only part that is visible from a distance, is the part that looks like a seed pod . Round and shiny and approximately the size of a human head...or that of a child anyway. They are found floating all wrapped around with the rest of the seaweed. This means that, if you are close enough to hit one of these balls , you are already in the middle of a patch of seaweed…and some of these patches are the size of a city block.7 This means that you must get your prop up and find the paddle...which is one of the coast guard safety regulations, by the way. You must have an onboard paddle....! So now I was going to have to paddle out of the seaweed and lose precious time and daylight ! A minute later I came out of the tiny cuddy cabin with the paddle clutched in my still numb fingers...and looked about. My vessel had bobbed in a circle and I was facing the wrong way now...but, whatever ! Where was that damn seaweed ball now? Ok ! There it is...off the bow, since I had turned already over 180 degrees. The dolphins were jumping close by it. Weird. How are they jumping thru all that seaweed? Wait a minute...! How’s this now?... There WAS NO seaweed.!! What the hell ? Just one lonely floating seaweed ball ? Maybe it was a floating buoy for a fisherman’s trap that had broke loose and drifted out here ? Looking hard at the shiny ball a ways off in the water, I ruled that idea out. Buoys are not usually black nor shiny unless they are brand new from the store , which rules out almost all Mexican-owned fisherman’s buoys...frankly ! Lol ! A sudden flash of white confused me further while looking at the ball, but gone as quickly as it takes me to blink , I turned away. Checking all around...I found not even one leaf of any seaweed anywhere. Well thank heavens for that anyway! And why were these dolphins all still jumping about and staying so visible....? Usually they fade into the deeper waters and disappear if I shut down the motor, but I could still see at least eight of them flipping about down there, on all sides of me. Maybe they had found a school of fish to chase and eat. Another jumper to my left turned me in that direction as it was making a lot of splash....for a change...upon re entry. Slapping the water with its tail. The ball again gleamed next to the splashing jumper...that odd white blinking. Perhaps that was not seaweed but...like an oily pelican from a spill . The Pemex tankers anchored a mile or so southeast of the islands, so this was possible, I imagined.8 I started the motor to get a closer look. Several jumpers crossed my bow immediately upon starting my outboard..while I was still in idle. So I took a careful and slow approach over to the seaweed ball...black and shiny...floating there...half submerged.. As I got closer it bobbed sharply up and down...as if being tugged on from below ...and something else was moving feebly next to it in the water. Grayish. Wormy looking. FINGERS !!! Then the flash of white again. Two of them. EYES !!! TEETH !!!!! A f*****g MERPERSON !!!! NO f*****g WAY!!! I threw the boat into reverse and put about ten feet more to the thirty or so already between us and cut the motor...not sure what to do. Well … I must have stood there for at least a minute . In a sort of paralyzed shock and disbelief . I was trying to get my brain around the sense of distorted reality that came with having to suddenly REDEFINE what reality actually MEANT. As it now was to include the existence of MERPEOPLE … apparently. Staring hard, directly at the slightly bobbing , shiny , black and perfectly round head…the grayish fish-colored face , and feeble wormy fingers… I saw this creature raise its head just enough out of the water to expose the lipless mouth… which opened as though it would speak , and yet not a sound did it make… before sinking back below the water , still half open. The swell rose past this shiny head, and it briefly disappeared beneath the water…but the fingers did not. The fingers …in fact , had turned their backs to me on that right hand . All of them were curled down…and then , quite suddenly , the middle finger popped up, at full attention. It was flipping me the bird !!! Suddenly I could not move fast enough , and I seemed to have lost all coordination and motor skills. Engaging throttle , I covered the distance between us too fast , and rather than use reverse and possibly kill him on accident , I went ahead and did a full turnabout…but lost sight of him as I did it .9 “Goddamit !!! Where IS he?! “ Now I could feel the icy hot creepers of panic brushing across my back and shoulders . My arms were numb and shaking, I noticed , as I hastily yanked the lifesaver ring from its place under one of the cockpits bench seat cushions . Time was stretching out before me, and everything was in a dreadful slow motion…as I scanned the waters all around me. “ HEEEEEY ! “… I hollered at the top of my lungs. “ OH GOD ! OH GOD ! WHAT HAVE I DONE?” Then, from behind me…THE SPLASH . A dolphin came flying up out of the water as I turned around . Then dove back down gracefully into the murky waters, slapping his tail as he passed beneath the surface , to make a big splash. Then, as he did it a third time…I saw it . THERE HE WAS. MY MERMAN. About fifteen feet behind me, and looking like he was on his last gasp of air , which…INDEED HE WAS MY FRIENDS. INDEED HE WAS. I threw that life buoy ring at him as hard as I could off the stern, and then stomped on the straggling last bit of its rope as it slid across the deck , attached to nothing at all … just as it would have left the boat completely. The panic rose to grab my throat, as I had to take my eyes off him long enough to secure the life buoys line to a cleat on the stern. I already knew that my first toss had not nearly reached him , and so I was now scanning the water frantically with my eyes while my hands raced to pull the line back in for another toss . I could not find him right away. When I did spot the shiny , black head only a moment later , he seemed farther away.10 “ I was never going to get this done in time ! “…screamed the panic in my head . The wind was against my throw . So when the panic left my throat to drop down into my belly , I just clambered right up out of the cockpit . Banging both my knees , with one hand holding on to the buoy , and the other on its rope…I jumped …or fell…right into the water, and proceeded to doggie paddle for the merman . Doggie paddle , so I could keep my head up to have him in my sights the whole time. The current was pulling the boat in the opposite direction , and I ran out of slack just as I reached him. Red gimlet eyes glared fiercely at me and I saw that he had on a dark colored t -shirt , which I grabbed with one fist , and hauled him forward. My right arm was looped thru the life ring , hooked by my elbow. He made a sound that could have been a sob, if it had not been so dry. “ GRAB HOLD!! “… I yelled at him as I tried to connect him with the lifesaver ring . His wormy, sodden and wrinkled fingers appeared on both sides , but the effort of raising his arms cost him his head ,which sank below the swell, before I hauled him back upwards and into my front side . “ Oh no you don't !” …I yelled at him as he coughed and sputtered sea water into my face , quickly rinsed off by the swell. “ GRAB HOLD !”… I yelled again. Looking back on it now, I know that he could not have grabbed anything in his weakened condition. But at that moment I was asking myself why the hell this drowning dude would not help himself. He did not panic and try to grab onto me, as they claim a drowning person would do to anyone trying to help them. The line connecting us to the boat was pulling on my arm with short sharp tugs, as it was in turn pulled by the swells current. I could not trust that I11 had done a good enough job securing it to the sterns cleat, and I knew that I had to get us back to the boat as fast as I could or else…we could get dropped out there …PERMANENTLY. My arms already ached , and my hands had been numb since before I even got wet. The merman , now known to be actually a drowning dude… was not going to be of any assistance , and THAT was the grim reality . The next tug on my right arm almost jarred him loose from my fisted grip on his shirt. I felt several of by fingernails tearing as we were jerked about. Seawater was up my nose and in my eyes , as well as some loose strands of hair…which I was unable to do anything about without letting go of something. “ THIS HAS TO END !!!” …was all I could think . “ AND I HAVE TO DO IT MYSELF “ Determined resolve hardened in my jaw and shoulders . I let myself sink beneath the water, and him too , I imagined…though I never let go of his shirt . Frantically kicking at my sneakers , tied on in double knots , I managed to get one off and immediately felt more buoyant . Surfacing with my head back , the hair washed out of my eyes and I could see. Around us was just giant rolling water in every direction. Tugging drowning dude upwards , so that he too could blow and wheeze water , and then air…I kicked off the other sodden weighty sneaker. Then, waiting for the repetitive sharp tug from our rope to pass, I immediately hauled DD forward and turned him sideways at the same time, so I could wrap both my legs around his middle. “ LEAN BACK “ …I told him loudly , as I turned him the rest of the way about , so that his back was to me : and feeling his shirt rip at the shoulder seams as I used it for leverage, trying to hike him up higher against my chest. His head crashed against my mouth and nose sharply and I tasted blood.12 Now , with my legs strongly wrapped around his middle and locked together at the ankles and with my feet crossed, I could let go of him and use my left hand to grab onto that life ring . Leaning backwards, I closed my eyes against the brightly setting suns glare , and found the rope with one hand at a time. Wrapping that line around one wrist two or three times as I held it in my grip and hauled us backwards. Then reaching with the free hand to grab the line , wrap it a few times at the wrist and freed the first hand , while pulling us another two feet. Then reaching up again with the free hand , to wrap and pull and free it , and wrap and pull and free it. One hand was always wrapped and we moved maybe two feet with each pull . All the while keeping my eyes closed and avoiding the stinging salt water from splashing into them, as the swell would occasionally wash over us . I could feel his bodys warmth where it made contact with mine , and I could hear the occasional grunt, squeezed out of him, when I tightened my legs grip around him; right before each pull on our lifeline towards the boat. So I knew he was still alive. At one point, as we inched along towards the boat, the line went slack… and a brief moment of terror snapped my eyes open, as I imagined the rope slipping from the kleat and into the water uselessly . But no…I could see we were still attached . Just a change in the swells direction I guess. We had drifted closer to the islands and I could actually see where there w +ere some large rocks jutting out of the water , offshore of the largest island. Pelicans were flying about the rocks . Around us in the water was the ropes length that we had already covered and I estimated that we were about halfway there .13 Resuming position, I finished dragging us both to the boat…stopping only occasionally, when I felt something brush up against my arm or leg , and imagined it to be a shark , or a jellyfish . But it was only the ropes length that we had already covered and released…and though I did not see them…I knew the dolphins were still there too. Waiting to race and hopefully discouraging sharks from finding us in the process. Upon reaching the boat , I had to wrap drowning dude around his chest and under his arms several times with the life buoys rope and then leave him there, briefly hanging from the kleat , so I could haul myself on board… stepping slightly on his shoulder. Then I rushed into the cabin to find the ladder that folds up when not in use, that hangs off the side of the stern for swimmers to climb on or off the vessel. Next, I was climbing down the ladder, and leaning over. I grabbed DD S left arm to pull him over to the ladder. My fingers gripping firmly on his soggy flesh, just slipped right down to his wrist and to my horror, I saw red tracks where my fingers had literally scooped off his skin, which was soft and mushy and grey. “ YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO HELP ME ! “ …I yelled at him. I untied his makeshift harness from the cleat and pulled it towards me on the ladder. He managed to put one hand on the ladders middle rung, and I leaned all my weight backwards, using both hands to pull on his rope, until he got one knee onto the bottom rung. Now i grabbed onto the ropes that circled him under his armpits and stood up, hauling as hard as i could while he tried to clamber on board. It took two or three attempts before we managed to get him up and over the side of the boat where he finally landed, full on top of my legs , as we both fell to the deck with the last clumsy heave. He appeared to be a Mexican…despite his grayish colored skin. My whole body was shaking with adrenaline and I was breathing hard. He was huffing a bit too , but making short little gasps that wheezed when he