Love Above All

Chapter 18: Is this a nightmare?

I ran inside the hospital and the receptionist showed me the room Tina was in. I walked in to see a very pale and warm out Tina. What have they done to her?? I held her hand crying uncontrollably.

“Christina if you can hear me please, please babe squeeze my hand.” I said and nothing happened and I started to panic. “Christina, Christina!” I said loudly and the Nurse walked in waring me to keep it down.

I held her hand still crying and I felt her move, I paused and she squeezed my hand. I wipped my tears and smiled.

“Christina I am so sorry... you're the love of my life and I need you. Please come back to me" I pleaded.

A smile appeared on her weak face I saw her smile as a tear fell down her cheek. I was worried sick and stood there holding her hand tight. What was I thinking?, she has never cheated on me let alone had a fling with another girl that I know of. The trust has been broken and these are the consequences.

The Doctor walked in and asked me to step outside. I hesitated and then walked out. “Your wife, has Cancer” he said as my world shut down completely. I was numb and weak. “What did you say?!" I asked.

“Your wife has Chronic leukaemia" he elaborated.

I fell to the ground with my knees. The numbness wouldn’t go away. “The pills she drank triggered the Cancer, they reacted to her body immensely fast.” he continued. It felt like a nightmare I cant wake up from. This can't be true. The doctor left and I got up and went to the room Tina was in. I looked at her beautiful pale face, tears streaming down as she slightly opened her eyes.

“Jas... Jasmine" she said. I moved closer to her. “Yes, Yes I'm here baby. I'm here” I said as she smiled.

The Nurse said I should leave and I did as I was told. I kissed Tina and told her I love her. I got out and called Tina's mom, My mom and my sister. They got here as soon as they could.

They were allowed to go in and see Tina but she was sleeping. She was in pain I could see it. I hurt her, it’s my fault. I was supposed to protect her for all harms and be with her till our last days.

My sister cried with me holding my hand and hugging me as I told them she has Chronic leukaemia.

I drove with my sister to my house and she offered to take care of the children till I'm ready to take them back. The hurt and sadness that came from my children was unbearable.

They were at school. Jody is starting first grade tomorrow and I want to be there. I took a bath and went to eat a proper cooked meal which I didn't finish... I couldn't think straight. My wife is in hospital and I'm here, No! I have leave. “I'm going to the hospital. I'll come later or tomorrow morning to take Jody to school.” I told Catherine and mysister while I was walking out the house.

I got to her room and she was sitting up. I ran to her and gave her a big hug. “Babe I'm so sorry, you don't deserve me, I should-" I was cut off

“Shush... Forget about it, it’s not your fault really” she said calming me down.

I really don't deserve her. She is so forgiving and every time I fucken screw up she takes me back. I hate myself, I want to carry the burden for her. I want to be in the very same bed she is in going through the same pain as her.

I stood there silent as we looked at each other.

“I love you” she said to me.

“I love You Christina Wilson" I said planting my lips , we started kissing but were qiuckly interrupted by the sound of a throat being cleared. It was the Nurse. I could tell she was disgusted but that was her problem to deal with.

“If felt like it was yesterday when we were having high tea with Mr. Lenny in Jody’s playroom; dressing up and going on Dora adventures. Tomorrow she starts first grade I want to be there; I miss her. I miss Darren and Ty too" Tina said with a faint smile.

I didn't know what to say I just hugged her. The children are not allowed in the hospital let alone in Christina's room.

“I don't want to die now, let me see my children first” She said looking straight into my eyes.