Bound By A Night

“How dare you?” The words spill from my lips before I can stop them. I raise my hand, and it smacks against his face. The pain of my own wrath is nothing compared to the hurt that is spreading through me. The laptop is open across the bed, stuck on that cruel screen. Him. Then another woman. Laughing, reaching out, smiling as if I don’t exist. My gut rolls over, my chest pinches, and for a second, I have trouble breathing. “I sacrificed everything for you!” I shout, my voice breaking. “I disobeyed my mother’s last wish… for you!” The words spit from my lips like jagged knives. I feel raw and vulnerable, angry and shattered all at once. "And you…". My voice barely cracks as I say this, a pained whisper. "…you broke my heart!" He looks at me, guilt warring with panic in his eyes. “Lina" “I can’t even let him finish.” “I’m sorry,” he says hastily, his words trembling with emotion. “But Sarah is pregnant.” The words are like a bullet to me. 'Freeze'. My heart stops. My sight blurs. I want to yell, fight, punch him again, but nothing happens. My body is frozen. “I. have to be there for her,” he says. It is for her. Not for me. Not for the woman he promised to love. My lips are trembling, and I am crying. “You promised we’d be together,”I shout. “How could you do this to me?” “I’m truly sorry,” he says again. As if that solves everything. As if the word itself can counteract the betrayal. "Get out!" I scream, my voice cracking. "Go!" He pauses, looking at me with an expression etched in my mind forever , guilt, regret, and enough, but not enough of it, to stay. And then he leaves, walking out of the room. The door shuts, and the sound clicks back in place. Silence fills the room, and my shattered heart reverberates. I collapse onto the edge of the bed. My chest aches as if it’s been torn wide open. My thoughts are spinning wildly about all the things I have lost promises, trust, the love that I gave him. I feel empty inside, drained, as if my soul has been emptied. This bed where we shared our love now seems to have become the hub of my destruction. I feel my phone buzz from the bedside table. I almost don’t want to pick it up. It’s Sophie. “Lina?” Her voice is smooth and gentle. “Are you okay?” “I’ve made up my mind,” I tell her before she can ask another question. “I’m going to marry Adrian Blackwood.” There's silence on the other end of the phone. Then, Sophie breathes out slowly. “I’m glad to hear that.” “Happy?” I whisper more to myself than her. “How could I be when everything I cared about is broken?” “It was your mom's last wish,” Sophie reminds me softly. “The Blackwood family promised her they’d take care of you.” I swallow hard. My throat is constricted. My mother. God, my mother. She only wanted me to be safe and taken care of. And now. I feel as if I've been thrust into a world that is no longer anything that I recognize. Sophie sends me an address. With a bitter, heavy heart, I dress myself. Not because of someone, not even because of him, but because I need to prepare myself for what is about to come. The bitter truth is that my life, love, and trust lie before me, but all of these were wrested away from me. The atmosphere is quiet, lavish, and filled with individuals who appear to come from another world. A world that conceals pain behind ample amounts of money and masks loneliness from laughter. Vodka. That’s all I can think of at this point. I order a glass. Then another. Then another. Every drink sears down my throat, reminding me, strangely, forcefully, of just how alive I am. Drinking to forget the hurt, the sting, the pain, the isolation, but the drink only clouds my vision momentarily. As I sit there, staring at nothing, trying to escape my thoughts, two men come up to me. "Hello, pretty lady," one of them says, grinning. "You need some company?" I shake my head. “Leave me alone.” “Come on," he laughs, leaning in closer. “We’re just trying to have fun." I erect myself to walk away, but a hand reaches out and holds my wrist. “Don’t be such a stubborn woman,” he says gruffly. “Hey,” says a voice behind me. “Leave her alone.” The man jeers. “Whatever, man. “Not worth it.” He pushes the stranger towards me and walks away. I almost topple but am caught by the stranger. He’s drunk. So am I. The room slants all around us. But, for some reason, none of that matters in this moment. We look at each other, our eyes locking, and I sense something in his stare that makes me feel… safe. Or maybe it’s just the idea of safety, since everything else around me seems to be falling apart. “I don’t know his name. He doesn’t ask for mine.” But in that instant, it doesn’t matter. Our lips touch, and I don’t resist. Just for this evening, all the things my shattered heart, my betrayal, my unkept promises must be forgotten. Just this once, my soul is present in just this one moment. The world fades away. There is no time. Just him and the pain that’s whirling within me. I try to dull it. Hours pass. Or maybe minutes. I don’t know. All I know is that when I finally wake up, the world is quiet. The bed next to me is empty. He’s gone. The smell of alcohol and cologne lingers in the air, a painful reminder that it was all just a dream, that it was all just temporary. I slowly sit up, my head throbbing. My hands are gripping the sheets, and I close my eyes. The void is closing in on me again. There's the pain of the betrayal, of the loneliness, of the heartbreak and it all seems more acute now. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. I understand I have a purpose I must prepare for. The contract, the family, the promises. But for now… for what is happening at this present moment… I just sit here with the silence and allow the pain that is inside me to overflow.Because tonight has given me nothing but questions, nothing but regrets, and a taste for a lifestyle I have never wanted.