Snow Cover

Chapter 20 Smoke Break

Julia's POV

I stand up from the bar stool, feeling a reluctance in my movements but knowing I will have to get going before I alarm my date, if he has even noticed yet. But since there has been no other messages, even with me sending him some seeing how he is doing, I would assume he is still working. But the night ids getting later so I don't know how much longer this is supposed to go on for. But I want to smoke then head back to the room.

I look across the bartop as Colby and I make eye contact once more. "May I use that door to go outside?" He slowly nods at my question as he hand me the book and paper with the amount I owe him. I glance down to see a 50$ tab, I'm not surpsrised though because I drank a lot getting consumed into the conversation with him. He just knows how to take me away from this and relax, which is exactly what I needed.

I smile down at the bill as I take a hundred dollar bill and placing it into the book. I glance up to see that he is still cleaning, not even thinking twice about m or the connection that I thought we had. But that's ok, he probably shouldn't because I have a date. So I shouldn't be thinking about that at all. But somehow I find my mind going back to him over and over again with an undeniable attraction to him, not just by his looks but by his mind. His thoughts on life in general, along with what he likes to do and how he does it makes me smile even bigger, liking him more the longer I talk to him.

I shake my head trying to get rid of those thoughts. They shouldn't be occurring in my mind whether I want them to or not. I'm still single technically, but I still don't think it's right to think like this when I was just brought here by a different man. Once he looks up, I send him a small smile as I hand him the closed book with my bill and the money for it inside. But when he grabs it from me, I stop him from pulling it completely out of my grip, so I can talk to him one last time, since I imagine that I'm sure I probably won't be coming here again.

This action gets his attention, as he curiously stares into my eyes with something I have never seen before. I don't know what it means but I can tell that it has to do with me. He looks as if he wants to say something in this silent but somehow intimate moment, but I want to be the one doing the talking. So I swallow the lump in my throat as I smile at him again, not taking my eyes from his that seem bright but look deep as if they hold so much behind them, that I probably wouldn't get enough. I know this because we have been talking all night and I still feel like it wasn't enough at all. I want more.

"Hey Colby, I just.. I just wanted to say.. Thank you for the wonderful time, you were a breath of fresh air for me and incredibly fun to talk with.. I appreciate you helping me feel not so alone.. Please just keep the change and have a wonderful night." I say as I pat the outside of the book, letting it go to let him have it and the money, before turning to walk out the side door to smoke a little bit of weed to help not just my body but my mind calm down after tonight.

I turn and strut away just trying to get distance between us, hoping that would help with the little hold that he somehow has on me without even trying. I make it outside just feeling the instant chill of the wind take over and distract me for a second. I take my joint out of my pocket, along with my lighter. I flick on the little flame multiple times, but the wind keeps blowing it out, making this much harder than it needs to be.

I let out a frustrated huff as I turn around to look and see the corner of the building a little further behind me. I walk straight over to it as I hunch down using the wall and my hand to block any wind trying to get through as I put the joint into my mouth, then light the end of it. I see the flame engulfing the exposed tip while I suck in a deep breath of air, sufficiently starting the cherry of this relieving medicine. I let the flame go as I stand straight up while sucking in a deep breath to get the large hit I have been wanting.

I use my fingers to pull the joint out of my mouth and hold it as I let the hit out of my mouth. I can't tell if it's my smoke or the hot air coming from my mouth. Maybe it's both. But I watch as the white color of the smoke twirls in the air while it slowly dissipates into nothing as if it never even existed in the first place. I smile walking away from the building, trying to see what I can of the mountains surrounding the place.

I can't see too much since the clouds covering the sky are also covering over the moon, so there is not much for any natural lighting, but there is enough light from the streetlights to be able to see some details. I keep smoking this joint wishing I wasn't alone doing this, but I am used to be alone and smoking so I don't see why it's any different from my every day life. But I thought John would want to do this with me, but since he is completely against it, I guess these joints will be left to myself and hopefully, he won't get too mad because I don't want to hear a lecture about why it's bad for me when I am just trying to relax and doing what helps me with that.

Its strange to me how silent it is out here. It's as if the snow somehow holds back any sounds that the wind or rustling od the trees make. It's so calm and completely silent out here that I can't help but to relax letting it consume me as I take a deep breath and let it out while closing my eyes. this is the most relaxingplace i have ever been to and I do think I want to move here. I know that's a big step to take for someone who has never been to this place. But I have fallen head over heels in love with this state, and don't ever want to leave.. Is that normal? Probably not.

I put the joint to my lips as I take another big hit of the weed, I hold it in as I hear a door swinging open behind me, I jump while I spit out the smoke I was holding in. I am startled to say the least as I flip around to see Colby standing there staring at me. "Colby? What is going on? you scared the hell out of me." I declare while holding my chest as I take a couple of deep breathes in to calm myself down once more.

He looks taken back by my comment as he keeps walking towards me until he points directly at me. "You can't tip me 50$" he declares walking over to me as I shake my head in confusion. I took up his seat for hours, so why doesn't he deserve a bigger tip for dealing with me for that long.. Besides, he is handsome and very nice for talking with me that entire time when he didn't have to, so I wanted to give him a little extra. Is that really such a big deal? Apparently, to him, it is.

"And why not? Isn't that what I am supposed to do with my own money.. Spend it how I want to?" I ask out of curiosity as he stops in his tracks as he thinks about it, looking like he might be stuck, but wants to still retaliate. "Well.. yes, but no.. you can't.. it was.. too.. nice." He declares as if he is mad at me but what he is saying says otherwise. "Too nice? and you're mad about that?" I ask taking a hit from my joint as he shakes his head trying to come up with some reason to object.

Which is quite funny to me, you can tell he is not actually mad but forcing a scowl on his face, so before he can say anything objecting, I put my hand up to stop him. "Come on Colby you can't honestly be mad at me can you? I work in this business too, so I understand it. You were really nice and made me feel better. I also understand that your seats at your bar railing is what makes you money and I took it up for hours, so I feel I have to compensate for that as well.. It's not a big deal.. don't make it bigger than what it is.. I was just grateful to you being so nice and helping me to feel better.. That's all." I explained as best as I can as he nods his head thinking about just that.

"Well.., I appreciate that." He states loudly, still sounding as if he is still mad, so I take a hit of the weed then putting my hands on my hips before blowing out the smoke. "Do you? Because you still sound like you're pissed at me, when I thought we had a great night but maybe I was wrong. Was I wrong?" I asked him out of curiosity acting as if I am offended when I'm not. I just wanted to match his energy at this rate. But you can see the shock and surprise at my response as he gets pushed into a corner at this rate since I am calling his bluff.

He shakes his head vigorously before he clears his throat. "No you're not wrong.. We did.. I did.. I mean, I am not mad.. I just.. wait.. Is that weed?" he asks as I quickly hide it behind my back, because I forgot about it. I don't know how to answer him because I don't want to get in trouble.. I hold in my hit before having to cough as the smoke comes out. "No it's not weed, it's just that I am so cold that my breath is coming out that white." I declare between coughs as he laughs at my comment.

"You asked me if you could come out here.. But not because you wanted to smoke." he says this as I automatically feel my head hanging after that comment, while I kick the snow breaking off chunks of ice that is under the snow and my feet, feeling bad because I would hate to offend him or possibly get him in trouble by association. "I know.. I'm sorry.. I just needed to calm myself down." I push out the apology as I hear him start to chuckle before I lift my head to look at him.

"I was just kidding with you Julia, and just in case you didn't know weed is legal here.. Nothing to hide." he says as I let out a deep breath before bringing the joint straight to my lips. "Sorry I just didn't want to get you in trouble or anything." I explain as he takes a step closer. "You won't as long as you let me have a hit." He asks for a bribe with a heart melting grin that creates something within me, and I can't even get myself to object. So I won't object.

I smirked up at him as I passed the joint directly over to him. He takes a hit as he blows it out above us, before passing it right back to me. He starts to laugh at something while staring down at me and this confuses me completely. "What are you laughing about?" I ask with actual offense in my words, not realizing what is happening. If this is something I should know about or if its an inside joke for him.

"I just think it's funny that of course, you would have something else in common with me. It's just been strange how much alike we really are." He says between chuckles as I softly say, "I know it's strange right, who would have known? Especially in this town, when I almost didn't even come." I state in disbelief before he is adding on. "I like it a lot.. I have never connected with someone this much." I clear my throat feeling nervous by the intense look in his eyes. "Me neither." I state in a whisper under my breath, partially hoping he didn't hear it. I want him to hear it but also know exactly what that could mean or lead to so at the same time I know that I should hold those thoughts back from being aired. But obviously for my big mouth, that is easier said than done.