V Y X E N

12.

Arisa stayed up that night, staring at the ceiling in her room, clutching the fluffy white comforter to her chest as the wind howled dangerously outside, she shivered, her room was freezing and she brought the fluffy white comforter towards her chin to vanquish the cold.

Her mind wandered to her mother . . the people she had so desperately tried to help . . her brother and the puzzle that was Vyxen Valkov, she didn't understand them and she was sure that if she tried to understand them it would probably be the most difficult thing she'd have to do.

She sighed, completely submerging herself under the thick comforter so the cold couldn't sting her cheeks, she worried for her mother, but at the same time wasn't sure how to go about helping her.

Her mother's withdrawal didn't happen overnight, it was gradual and Arisa now began to realize how simple it was for her –back then, to have over looked the signs.

First it started with shorter time spent together, that turned into days without mother-daughter interaction until eventually, they both were just two strangers living together, one filled with paranoia and the other a depressed teen, Arisa turned so that she was lying on her side, she was sure though that other had it worst, and as that thought appeared her mind immediately took her to the surviving women and children, 'where were they now?' 'are they safe?'

She threw the covers off her in frustration and grabbed the second pillow from the far end of the bed, positioning it in front of her body so her legs and arms could wrap around it, she then grabbed the covers and hid her shivering body from the cold once more.

The ritual was dreadful, Arisa had vomited twice and eventually Jeremy had had to take her home, she could still smell the stench of their burning flesh and her stomach turned as she hugged the pillow tighter, she had felt guilty after her stomach had settled, guilty that they died, guilty that she wasn't there for them, guilty that she wasn’t able to take responsibility.

She bit her lip and rocked back and forth feeling restless, am I doing the right thing? The question flitted through her mind for the hundredth time that night, they had spoken about an army, a disease? A spy? But she didn’t understand what that had to do with helping them.

“do you think you’re the only one who cares for those people?”

Those dark fierce eyes appeared before her again and she swallowed a lump in her throat she released her hold on the pillow, lying in bed, staring at the darkness above her because of the comforter, she released a breath.

She closed her eyes, trying to find sleep, but this time, the portrait of the man she found in the dusty semi-circular room filled her vision.

Arisa again wondered who he was 'possibly a long lost relative she thought to herself, but then shook her head, a long lost relative's portrait would not be left to rot like that, remembering the way Vyxen had responded to her presence made her heart race painfully in her chest, she hugged the pillow closer to her body squeezing her eyes shut.

Her head hurt.

The following day Arisa sat in the massive room staring at the men as they passed, she wondered what their life was like, if they were haunted by a past they couldn't run away form if they were happy, sad . . . content?, she folded her feet beneath her, rubbing her eyes furiously to get rid of their heaviness.

She didn't sleep that night, couldn't close her eyes without seeing their burning corpses, hearing their silent cries and wishing she had never experienced that, she sat and stared at the dust particles dancing in the morning rays.

Someone cleared their throat and Arisa was drawn from her mindless staring and met eye to eye with Olivia.

Why wasn't she there?

The question fluttered through her mind, so lightly, she wasn't expecting the wave of emotions it caused her as her eyes stung from forcing her tears back, she stared at the familiar face of her best friend, her long blonde hair, sharp eyes and full lips.

Olivia grabbed her hands and squeezed, they didn’t need to exchange words, as a matter of fact, Arisa realized the less they spoke the more they got along, it made her realize Olivia really did have a lot of secrets that she knew nothing about.

It made her wonder who she really knew in this world.

Squeezing Olivia's hand in return, she couldn't ignore how she felt at the moment, alone, confused and detached, maybe it was best that Olivia had stayed away from the cremation ceremony, maybe it was for the best . .

"The Alpha-" Olivia began, looking at Arisa with sympathy "Wants to speak to you . . it's about your decision"

"If you help them Arisa, you won’t be able to leave here" Olivia continued cautiously

“I don’t get why I have to stay here simply because I want to help them”

“I don’t think you understand how serious this is Arisa, as a person with Authority you can’t just say and do anything. Your words carry weight, your actions have meaning”

When it was clear Arisa wasn’t following Olivia shook her head in frustration “bottom line. Help them and you won’t get to visit the Caribbean like you’ve always wanted” she tried.

Arisa smiled slightly despite feeling her stomach cramp "Mhmm, if I get stuck here you can always travel there and tell me all about it” she said in an attempt to lighten the mood.

An emotion Arisa couldn’t decipher darkened Olivia’s face before she softly said “I think you should speak to Jeremy, before the Alpha” she pointed towards the hall.

She saw him just then, his hair loose and bronze skin peeking from his wife beater, the scars, and cuts giving him a fierce appearance. He seemed angry with something, someone.

Arisa squared her shoulders as she met him head on “What have you decided?” he asked in a too controlled voice.

She opened her mouth to answer but he didn’t give her the chance “Don’t answer that, I’ll talk to the Alpha, keep your head down”

“I don’t need you to do that for me” she couldn’t keep the hostility from her voice, “You already took control with handling my mom I can handle everything else in my life”

“Arisa you don’t know what you’re up against, we are a pack. A unit, you fought for those people right before their very eyes and they were able to stay here, they won’t forget, you will have to take responsibility, are you ready for that?” he asked hotly

“You claim to be my brother, you said you weren’t abandoned it must mean you chose to stay here. You picked this place over your mother and sister, why would it be a bad thing if I stayed?”

Hurt flashed across his face and he looked away, she felt a little guilty then, and she bit her lip. She hadn't given him a chance to tell her his story, she wondered if there was more to it than she cared to think about.

“are you saying you’ll give up your freedom Arisa?” Vyxen's deep voice came from behind her

When she didn't answer he continued “Or will you do as we say” he quirked an eyebrow, seemingly intrigued to hear her answer.

“If I do as you say will you still help them?”

“No”

She huffed and her brother spoke up “We have rules and customs Arisa, You vowed to protect them so you have to either take responsibility or leave them to their own devices, there is nothing we can do as the head of the pack, we can’t break our own laws”

She looked from the both of them, nerves making her hands shake, it was like being stuck between a rock and a hard place, she didn't know how she was going to get out of this.

Why didn't they want her to stay?

Did she even want to stay?

If she refused to take responsibility would their deaths be her fault? would it?

“You can decide in a few days until then the Morontas pack will remain on our safe grounds, you will be prohibited from seeing them”

Arisa felt as if her heart was about to explode from all the emotions currently hurdling through her being and without thinking she yanked on Vyxen's immaculately pressed suit with so much force they both came to a halt, Vyxen stared at her, his face hard and his eyes blazing with fury.

"How dare you!" she snarled, she knew this was a stupid move, she knew he spoke like that because he was the Alpha, the head of the world she had been thrown into but it didn’t seem to have registered.

"it isn't fair that you both feel as if you can push me around and tell me to stay or leave! I decide! Me! I promised to help if I'm. not allowed to see them what does that make me?"

Silence engulfed them in the narrow hallway, Vyxen stared at her for a few minutes but to Arisa it felt like an eternity, her heart hammered painfully in her chest he held her hand that clung to his suit in a firm warm grip, a strange hot and cold feeling traveled slowly up her arm and she gasped pulling away "be careful, Arisa" came the cool, emotionless voice of her Alpha, She felt him move closer towards her, making her skin explode with unwanted warmth, he hoovered over her, staring her down like a prey – his prey.

"you won't like what the people around you become if you stay here," he said lowly, softly . . so softly it made Arisa purr in content, he leaned impossibly close, so close she could smell the mint in his breath and feel the warmth of it when it caressed her cheeks.

"I’ll take her with me today" She felt strong hands pull her back from the Alpha and into her Brothers chest, The alpha’s eyes flickered to their closeness before he shut off any other expression with a scowl. He nodded at Jeremy before leaving but she was too shaken by how close she had been to Vyxen that she didn’t have time to brush her Brother off.

She glared at his broad shoulders as he glided down the hall

“so intense” she muttered

“You should really stop angering him, you may be the Beta’s sister but there’s only so much he can handle” Jeremy muttered.

She turned to glare at him too.