Love, where

The night kept on inhaling the fire smoke. The fire consumed old memories that while no longer part of me. "It's time to move on", I said to myself as I watched both happy and sad memories get consumed by fire. An old book lied at my side, "my diary", was written boldly on the book cover. I took the book and opened the first page, it read, "Dear diary, First day in college, I'm so excited. I am hoping to start a new life, become a better version of myself, walk with my head held high, shoulders back and maybe get real friends that would love me for me. show less of my nerdy side, not too popular, I just want to be known in a good way and maybe find that real love everybody is talking about. "So naive", I said as I kept on going through the memory lane. "Dear diary, Second day in college, I met some of my old classmates, immediately they saw me they started laughing, but I am in college now, I won't let them get into my head. I had a real conversation with someone today, though she talked more about herself, it still counts as a conversation. "Dear diary, Third day in college, My teacher finally noticed me, she asked a question that was too simple to ignore, so I answered it. "Nerd", I heard someone shout from afar. Hope I'm not making the same mistakes I made in high school. "Dear diary, tenth day in college, my parent had a serious argument. My mother cursed and lamented, but that's what happens every year, my mom said it help build every relationship. Oh, before I forget I meet a creepy girl in college today, she dress and act like a gothic but her name gave me a second thought, "Felicity". "Dear diary, 100th day incollege. The friendship I built is finally breaking. There is no much difference between them and my former highschool friends except I paid my high school friends for their friendship, I am so pathetic. Maybe if I change my dressing code a little and act like them more, they will accept me. "Dear diary, 190th day in college, the cute boy I wrote two pages on, was only playing with my emotion, he told me to my face that I was fake, I don't fit his standard. So he left after destroying my dignity and pride. Maybe this is for the best, you can focus more on your studies. "Liar" I knew there was more pain in stored for me, but I couldn't back out. I wanted to feel what my old self felt, "Misery". "Dear diary, 205th, Everything those have an ending, like my parent marriage. Their last fight made my mother walk away without looking back, my mother was the only friend I had, but she left me too. Did I change too much for her to recognize me or was I that bad. I didn't have much money to bribe her to stay, but I was hoping my tears would, but no. Another relationship down the drain, maybe "Love" is only meant to be read about not felt. "Dear diary, 207th, my father is heartbroken, he cried and cursed his incompetent. "Maybe if I had more jobs or a large savings my family won't have fallen apart", he kept on reprimanding himself. But I don't blame him, maybe my mother wanted more than my father could give. "Love don't care who you are, or what you have", my mother always quoted, she lied. "Dear diary, 400th, my friends finally left, it took longer than expected, I didn't mind much when they left, but I had a question that needs to be answered. "What's wrong with being a nerd, are nerds not human too? Don't we deserve the good things in life.