Love Me Again, My Alpha

CHAPTER 5

Cullen

"Momma, will you go with Kai back to the big house?" tanong sa akin ni Kai habang pinapakain ko siya ng pancake na iniwan ni Sage sa mesa.

This is Kai's favorite breakfast along with his milk.

Iyon ang nakasulat sa note na iniwan niya.

"Well, I need to think about it, Kai," nakangiting sagot ko sa kanya bago siya sinubuan ng isang spoonfull na pancake.

Ngumuya muna siya habang nakatingin sa akin obviously he doesn't like the idea of me not haven't decided yet.

"But you pwamish mama. You said you go with Kai to the big house yeshteday with dad," sabi niya.

Ngumiti ako.

"Yes I will. So eat first them we will discuss it," natatawang sabi ko.

I can't explain why this kid already dominated my heart. I'm not even his mother but I feel like I am. Whoever Sage mated and got pregnant, that omega was probably the luckiest one.

The thought of Sage having a mate hurts my chest so bad. Yeah I'm still in love with Sage after those years. She's still the only alpha who resides in my heart. Until now. But I was so stupid to let her go. Her crying face and her back while walking away are the things I can't forget that day.

"Why is mama crying? Kai said bad words?" tanong ni Kai using his puppy eyes on me.

Aw. How can this little boy know how to use that on me? Hindi ko siya kayang hindi sagutin.

"No baby. It's just that I remember someone," sagot ko sa kanya.

Tumingin siya sa akin. He's like trying to see if I'm telling him the truth.

"Mama has another kid? That's why mama cry?" tanong niya habang pinupunasan ang aking mga luha sa tissue na hindi ko alam kung saan niya nakuha.

"Oh no Kai. I don't have a kid," sagot ko sa kanya bago ko siya kinarga at saka hinalikhalikan siya sa pisngi.

Tumawa siya ng malakas habang nakayakap sa aking leeg.

"Otay! Kai is Mama only baby?" tanong niya bago hinawakan ang aking mukha gamit ang kanyang dalawang maliit na mga kamay at saka pinatitigan ako sa aking mga mata.

Sweet Marry, he really looks like Sage. Lahat ay kay Sage niya nakuha.

"Kai, what does your real mama look like?" tanong ko sa kanya habang karga-karga ko siya.

Bago pa man makasagot si Kai ay biglang bumukas ang pintuan ng bahay at saka pumasok si Sage. Nakalugay ang mahaba niyang buhok at pagkatapos ay tinanggal niya ang suot na dark tinted na colored glass niya revealing her sunset colored eyes that directly look at me. Those same eyes that I used to be drowned whenever she looks me in the eyes. The same see of sunset that makes me lost. The same eyes that used to look at me like I'm the most important person in the world despite being an recessive.

Amd still it makes my heart beats above normal rate.

Nakaramdam ako ng pamumula ng pisngi kung kaya dagli ako tumalikod at kunwari ay hindi affected sa ginawa niya.

Sweet Marry, bakit kay lakad ng t***k ng aking puso? Why do I feel like I'm returning to my teenage life where I felt this way to Sage for the first time.

"Hi daddy," bati ni Kai kay Sage. "How's Daddy's work totay?" nakangiting sabi pa ni Kai.

"Hello sweetie. Daddy's work ended early so I came home as soon as I finished it. How are you with your new nanny?" tanong niya

Huh? Nanny?

"No! Mama is not Kai's nanny. Mama is Kai's mama. Otay daddy? No call mama nanny. Kai will angwy with you," seryosong sabi ni Kai sa kanya at nakakunot pa ang noo just like Sage. Noong nagagalit ito dahil sinabihan akong baboy at pangit noon.

Gusto kong tumawa dahil nga copycat talaga ni Sage ang bata ngunit pinigilan ko ang aking sariling huwag tumawa.

"Yeah yeah. Daddy won't gonna say it again," sagot niya.

I know that she's looking at me base na rin sa pagtaas ng balahibo sa aking leeg. The feeling that someone is staring right at you is the feeling that I'm currently feeling now. Nakakapaso, nakakapanindig balahibo.

"I need to breathe," bulong ko sa aking sarili. Para kasi akong nasu-suffocate dito sa loob.

I mean I know it was my fault why Sage and I broke up. But still. ..

Humarap ako sa kanya after I heaved a sigh.

"I would like to go home now since nandito ka naman," sabi ko sa kanya.

Tumingin siya sa akin.

"No, you can't ," sagot niya. "Iiyak si Kai and the worst it baka sundan ka niya," sabi pa niya with stern face.

"Look, uhm I know you offered me a huge amount to be your children's nanny but uhm wala bang nanay ang mga anak mo, Sage? I mean this is kinda awkward for me," sabi ko sa kanya.

"So? What do you want to say? Declined my offer? And about my children's mom, he's dead," sagot niya. "I told you right? You are no longer working in my company. You will be my children's nanny, especially Kai. He needs his mom but I couldn't find someone like their mom," sagot niya.

"Why me?" tanong ko sa kanya na may kaunting pag-asa sa aking puso.

What if it's me parin after all?

Kumunot ang noo niya.

"Because my son wants you. Nothing more," sagot niya sa akin.

Ouch. Did I hear it right?

Para iyong palaso na tumama sa aking dibdib. Masakit.

Gusto kong maiyak sa sinabi niya ngunit pinigilan kong hindi umiyak. Sage was so good to me. Back then she'll do anything for me. We do dating kahit na nagtaas ang mga kilay sa akin ng mga tao at classmates namin noon. I couldn't stand their stares at me so Sage was always holding my hands to assure me that everything is alright with her by my side.

"Date? We're going on a date?" tanong ko sa kanya noong sinabi niyang magde-date daw kami.

"Don't you want to go?" tanong niya sa akin habang nakaupo ako sa pagitan ng kanyang mga hita at nakapatong ang kanyang ulo sa aking kanang balikat.

"It's not that I don't want to go. It's because people will look at you weirdly," sagot ko sa kanya.

"Weirdly? How? And why would they do that?"

Tinanggal ko ang pagkakapatong ng ulo niya sa aking balikat at saka humarap sa kanya.

"Look at me. You're dating someone as fat and ugly as me," sabi ko sa kanya. "I'm no match to the dominant omegas that should be paired with an Elite like you. I'll just bring shame to you," sabi ko pa.

Kumunot ang noo niya sa akin.

"I don't give a damn what they think about me. They can't dictate to me what I want. They don't hold my heart. I am me. And I know who I want to date and who I love. I don't care about your appearance, Cullen or how badly they will choose you. It's just us. Don't ever think about them and their opinion. You are beautiful as you are. And that makes them jealous," seryosong sagot niya sa akin sabay hawak ng aking chubby cheeks gamit ang kanyang magkabilang mga kamay and then kissed me. "Always remember that I love you so much."

Biglang tumulo ang aking mga luha na hindi ko napigilan. Dali-dali kong pinunasan ang mga iyon bago pa may makapansin.

Ah Damn!

"Sorry, I really need to go," sabi ko sa kanya bago ibinigay sa kanya si Kai. "I'll be back tomorrow," sabi ko pa bago nagmamadaling lumabas ng penthouse niya.

"Mama wait!" sigaw ni Kai ngunit hindi ko na siya pinansin. My heart hurts. And it wanted to be explode.

Hindi ko alam kung paano ako nakasakay ng taxi pauwi sa inuupahan kong maliit na apartment. Basta ang alam ko ay nakadapa ako sa aking higaan at umiiyak.

"Why do you have to come back?" tanong ko sa picture na lagi kong kasa-kasama.

It was Sage back when she was in high school. I remember her standing against the sun's sunset and she was smiling at me. That scene is so mesmerizing so I captured that moment using my old smartphone. I developed it and put it in a picture frame and until now, I kept it as a treasure. Alam kong wala na akong karapatan since ako ang bumitaw sa relationship namin. That's the least thing I can do to protect her and my family. Even if it means my heart will be shattered.

The day she left me crying, she took my heart with her. Walang araw noon na hindi ako umiiyak. Walang araw din na hindi ko siya iniisip hanggang sa nag-college ako and I had my first heat and changed into someone I have now. I thought I could move on. Akala ko I'll be fine and I can still go own dahil malayo na si Sage sa akin. Last time I heard she went back to her mom's family somewhere in the Middle East. I thought I'll be fine and it will be enough for me to just treasure her. It was enough for me to be loved despite what I was before.

Then out of the blue, bakit bigla na lang siya nagpakita? Bakit biglang naglaho yung aking effort na okay na sa akin ang maging bahagi siya ng aking nakaraan? Why is that one look from her, all my resolve and effort to forget her backfired me? Why do my heart hopes that someday the old us will be back. Back when we used to dream. We used to date. We used to just be us.

Hindi ko namalayan na nakatulog na pala ako. Nagising ako kinaumagahan na may nagsasalita sa labas ng pintuan ng aking apartment.

"Hello? Mama? Are you in there? Let Kai come in Mama. Kai wants to say sowy becows mama cries. Does Kai make you cry, Mama?" narinig kong may nagsalita sa pintuan.

Bumangon ako. Parang narinig ko ang boses ni Kai sa labas ng pintuan.

"Mama pwease open the dow for Kai. Kai wants to see you mama. Pweas," sabi pa ng boses bata sa labas ng pintuan.

Nagising ang diwa ko at saka dali-dali akong lumabas ng aking kwarto at binuksan ang pintuan kahit hindi pa ako nagmumumog.

"Mama," nakangiting sabi ni Kai sabay bigay sa akin ng isang bouquet ng pulang rosas. "Fow you mama fwom Kai and daddy."

Tumingin ako kay Sage na naka-cross armed na nakatingin sa akin.

Nagtama ang aming paningin ngunit ako ang unang nagbawi ng paningin. I couldn't stand her gaze.

Nanghihina ang aking mga tuhod at masyadong natataranta ang puso ko sa paraan ng kanyang pag kakatitig.