Unspoken Hearts

Taking a Stand: Defending Love and Dignity

Siddharth Singh

What the f**k did I do? Oh God mom will kill me.

What was heck I was thinking will talking? How can I be so rude?

Just because I wanted to hurt her I made fun of her love for me. I always knew she loved me but I don't think after this she'll love me anymore.

I laughed in her face for loving me and called her a jealous person. I never noticed but now that she mentioned it, I realised that she was indeed right.

Every time I had a new girlfriend, I always forgot about her but she was always waiting for me at the other end. She was always there for me.

Fuck Singh. You messed up big this time. I've to sort this out.

I can't keep her waiting for me anymore. I was never a true best friend to her but now I'll be by her side. I'll talk to her and apologise. I'll tell her to move on from me because Amelia is not just another girl for me. I love that girl.

Defeatedly, I headed back to home.

"Did you talk with her?" As soon as I stepped in mom's voice echoed in the living room.

I sighed and slumped in the couch.

"Siddharth. Answer me." She came and stood in front of me with her hands on her hips.

I let out a breath and shook my head in agreement.

There's a guilty feeling in my chest. I wanted to replay and do things right.

"How was it? Did you guys solve your problem? Is there still any beef between you two?" Mumma's inquiry made me feel more guilty.

The heaviness of guilt and remorse began to weigh on my chest, making it difficult for me to breathe.

Why did I do that to her? She was so important to me, wasn't she? then why? Why did I ignore her? And never replied to her text? I asked myself, though my subconscious decided to complicate it further for me.

Because Amelia said she doesn't like it when you talk to other girls, or is it because you still have that silly crush on Kiara?

Crush.

I still remember how I warned every person in her class to stay away from her because I wanted to be with her and ask her out, but I couldn't muster up the courage to do so.

I was such a coward back then, and maybe I still am. Because no matter how shy Kiara is, she has enough courage to express her love, but I couldn't even tell her that I had a crush on her back in our teenage years.

Maybe if only I'd confessed it to her, she'd be mine now.

But what about Amelia? I love her. Maybe it was meant to be this way.

"Hello? I'm talking to you." Mumma snapped her fingers in front of my face and pulled me out of my reverie.

"Yea?" I uttered in confusion, as I didn't pay any attention to her words.

"I asked, did you guess solve it?"

How do I tell her? How do I tell her that I messed it up? She'll kill me.

Rather, I tried to change the topic.

"Where's Amelia?" I asked and roamed my eyes in the living room. It must have been so weird for her to witness all this bullshit. She doesn't deserve all of this.

"She's in the guestroom."

I arched my brows and uttered, "In the guestroom? Why?"

"Because she's our guest?" She said it in a duh tone.

I scoffed and showed her the ring on my ring finger.

"We're engaged, maa. She's my fiancee—not some guest, but your soon-to-be daughter-in-law."

Her eyes widened in shock, and somehow I felt like she was not happy about it. Though I couldn't blame her either, I never told her about Amelia; after I proposed to her, I decided to bring her here and introduce her to Mumma.

"You-you're what?"

I nodded my head and confirmed it again. "Yes maa. We're engaged, and we're getting married this December. That's why I brought her here."

She was clearly dissatisfied with me at the moment. It was evident on her face, and she wasn't even hiding it.

I know why, because of Kiara. Yes, she wanted Kiara to be her daughter-in-law. Though she never said it to me, I know it. The way she adores her, I know that's what she wants.

"Siddhart, you know Kiara loves you?" I sighed and nodded my head in affirmation.

"Then how could you do this to her?"

"Maa, just because she loves me doesn't mean I have to love her too. I can't help who I fall for, just like she couldn't!" I snapped at her in annoyance.

"What about the crush you had on her?! I thought you'd eventually fall in love with her! That's why I always encouraged her love for you!"

"Maa, it was just a silly crush! A mere attraction! Nothing else! I don't love her! I love Amelia, and I'm going to marry her."

"And what about Kiara?" She questioned.

I shrugged my shoulders and said, "That's not my responsibility. I care for her, but what you're asking for is not possible, mom."

"That girl has been in love with you ever since I can remember. Don't break her heart, Siddharth."

I laughed sarcastically and looked into her eyes.

"What about Amelia, maa? Do you even realize how she must be feeling after all this bullshit?"

"I know, but she'll find someone better, Sidd. Kiara loves you."

I clutched my head and stared at her with wide eyes.

Is she even realizing what she's saying? What's wrong with her?

She's so blinded by her love for Kiara that she's forgetting about me.

"What about me and Amelia, maa? Do you think Amelia deserves this? You can see Kiara's love for me, but not my love for Amelia or her love for me. What's wrong with you?"

She scoffed and folded her arms in front of her chest and commenced, "Kiara is much better than her, and she deserves you! The only girl you'll marry is Kiara. You get that?"

"The only girl I'll accept as my daughter-in-law will be Kiara Mehra. Nobody else."

Has she gone mad? What is going on in her mind?

I wonder how Amelia will feel when she hears all of this. She's been so excited to meet Maa since forever.

What if mom behaves rudely with her? A poor girl doesn't deserve this.

Mom rants were still going on about how Kiara is going to be a good wife to me, how our marriage will profit us, how Kiara is Indian, and how she knows our rituals and rules. And that she'll be the perfect daughter-in-law of the Singh family.

"Mom, that's it." I raised my voice to stop her. She stared at me, her mouth wide open, as if she just couldn't comprehend what had happened.

"Did you just raise your voice at me, Siddharth?" The hurt in her voice was clearly evident; she wasn't even trying to hide it.

In 26 years of my life, I never raised my voice at her. Never.

But now, I've got to take a stand for my fiancee.

"Look, maa, I didn't mean to raise my voice at you, and I'm so sorry for it. But the only person I'll marry is Amelia. Nobody else. Kiara is my friend, and I'll try to mend my relationship with her, but I'll never marry her." I uttered, left from there, and headed towards my room.

Tears prickled my eyes. I hated the way I talked to her. I know it must have hurt her so much, but she can't degrade Amelia; I love her.

I won't let anyone degrade her. I was a coward back then, but not anymore.