OVERJOYED MELANCHOLY

CHAPTER 4 : CHORD OF MY HEART - FELT

Love is a process of a never ending series. This world is the result of love I must say , with each breadth , with every second of the day , love does nothing but grow.

After realisation , we feel that eternal love inside our heart and soul. When we understand who we are and that's where this love grows , love for each other , love for nature , love for the universe , love for the world , love for plants , love for birds , that's how we understand what this world actually is , when we realise ourselves and we feel ourselves.

In our dreams , we feel our reality . While walking on a road when we see everything is nothing but energy we feel that we belong to something. Those signs from the universe we mean , those little steps we take that matters so much to us , we're happy now. We understand that we belong to this universe , and everything and everyone are nothing but a part of this universe .

When we close our eyes and experience that depth of our soul , when we feel we are nature's beautiful gifts , we're given a chance where we can receive answers from god himself , we're soul gifted a body to do beautiful deeds , we feel .

That's how I felt the love I spread with everyone and everything , because the higher power never stopped me giving answers to my prayers. Realised that I was at fault , and now I feel it too , so I must react to this too , because this is again a plan of god himself. Because when we feel it to the depth we are ready to sacrifice too.

This section is all about what I felt during another stage of love.

IS GOD TESTING US ?

The name you gave me ,

I carry with me always .

But there was a moment I let you free ,

But god wanted some other ways.

I was asleep when I had a dream ,

I never wanted to wake up from.

From my eyes it was a stream ,

When I woke up mum.

It'll all be ok one day ,

God is just testing us .

You said it with that name ,

In my dream it was like a crust.

Because maybe god was testing us ,

But it was something I had a thrust.

MEETING YOU IN MY EYES

The camera of my pupil ,

Captured you in my eyes.

You left like a jewel ,

When I trapped you in my sight.

I'm so desperate to see you ,

My feet on the floor dance .

Holding your hands as true ,

When the spirits glance.

My face changes its way ,

My heart starts to twinkle .

As if you're not away ,

This was my heart sprinkle.

You're not in real here ,

I dance alone I say .

But you're real somewhere,

Where the emptiness pray .

FELT YOU

On the canvas of my heart ,

I took a brush to paint.

I'll ever draw the most beautiful art ,

When in my heart you were pinned.

Everything wasn't okay ,

You were lost somewhere.

I wish you'd just stay ,

When I searched for you everywhere.

I closed my pupils ,

My heart was scared .

With the first breadth of renewal,

I got to know that you cared.

I don't know what to do I melt ,

Cause it was the time I felt.

THE PLACE I GO

My eyes run everywhere ,

When I feel your presence.

Its hard to prepare ,

When my heart hurts in silence.

Gazing at you from my blood ,

It started beating hard.

Running from my eye a flood,

When I opened the card.

Every place I go ,

Where you've been once .

There is nothing but snow ,

Where your presence glance.

My eyes run everywhere ,

Running into my blood is empty air.

IN MY DREAMS .

The moment I wanted to forget you ,

I saw you in my dreams ,

But I just wanted to leave you behind ,

But habits can't be left behind .

I closed my eyes just to lose you ,

I opened my eyes just to gain you back .

Dreams are to be watched from your

eyes opened they say ,

But I close my eyes just to achieve you.

Once I wanted to lose you ,

But isn't " I " selfish?

So I heard the music of my heart ,

And it played you.

DANCING WITH YOU

In the season of winter in my heart ,

I wanted to turn the music on .

My room was calm , my heart was freezing ,

When my soul took a step.

I break off my globe ,

Just to raise my hands in the air.

Alone I was in my room ,

Holding your hands made of air.

The melody of the song started to heal my heart ,

The freezing heart grew flowers ,

My steps took a chance ,

And my soul chose to dance ,

Arms in the air , hand on the shoulder ,

I fell on my bed and opened my globe ,

It was not real , but it wasn't unreal too ,

And since then I have danced with you ,

Even if you're far away.

WHY ARE YOU IN MY DREAMS

I thought I was about to love someone new ,

Made my own ways to leave you .

The knots of our hearts were still connected ,

And I saw you being there.

Whatever I wanted to say to you , I said it all there .

You were mine and I was yours ,

Those words I crave to hear , you said it .

I love you , the depth of my blood knows .

But I thought I was about to love someone new ,

When I parted ways , said goodbye ,

Why were you in my dreams ,

when I never tried to cry.

YOU LIVE IN MY SONGS

Putting my earphones on ,

The orb on my face started to sing out.

When every melody I glean ,

Reminds me of you.

I day dream a lot of times ,

Because reality is a lie .

Our pictures moving with the

melody moving on , our eyes met.

That touch of eternity I felt ,

Was all a lie because you're in my head.

And when I stop the melody ,

And open my eyes ,you disappear .

Because you live in my songs.

17 JULY

When I needed you the most ,

I never found you in the world.

But I found you somewhere,

Somewhere only my soul can reach.

I wonder why I believe in dreams so much ,

Because I find you no where.

But in the fantasy of my ticker,

Where with every beat, You fill my soul with light.

You missed me that day , but I was acting like I didn't ,

You gave me a ray of hope , When you said radha.

A dream I woke up from , I never wanted to arise from,

Wondered why you said that ? Then I realised ,

From the world I hear this word ,

But I craved to hear it from you .

Wonder why I believe in dreams so much ?

Because I find you no where.

SWINGS

Distance punished us a lot ,

Where I can't see you anywhere.

My eyes crying making a knot ,

Atleast I can see you any where.

And then I slept again ,

My dreams started to sync .

I was in holding on the pain ,

When I saw you without a blink.

I heard your voice ,

I called you up to see you.

I saw your face in rejoys ,

Where on a swing were you.

I held your hand for the whole night,

It was a long dream this way.

You moved away from my sight,

Even in my dream you disappeared with care.

GOD'S PRESENCE

And I felt you a lot of times ,

Learning love a process of life ,

When I met you everywhere I looked for it ,

Yet found it in you.

God has helped me a lot in understanding

Love, but why would you do that with me.

Falling apart, losing my breaths

Trying to take my life back ,

I found myself hanging on a rope.

That's when god saved me ,

I felt you , yet I felt god that day ,

The only difference was ,

One was drowning me , and I was

Happy drowning myself ,

But one was saving me , just to save me.

TO IMMORTALIZE YOU

I want someone to look at and paint, write, and love.

I want you to be my muse, so that I can immortalize you.

So that this universe can know what your soul is to me.

Even after leaving your soul from your body you'll be alive, in my paintings, my poetries and with my soul in this endless universe

Where there is only love, not you, not me but us.

WHEN YOU KNOW YOU KNOW

Oh how poetic you are.

Who wrote me.

Oh how mysterious you're

Made me search all the walls .

Oh how beautiful you're ,

I saw you for hours

Oh how creative you're

Who painted me.

How can someone be this

Loving for me, asked god himself.

DROWNING INTO THE MEMORIES

You can't go to the past they say ,

I'll jump and drown into the

Memories of us .

Just to find you ,

Just to have you back.

BUT YOU'RE LOST

You? You're still there somewhere in my heart,

Your thoughts are buried.

Your face is blurry,

I don't remember your voice anymore,

Cause you're still there somewhere

in my heart But you're lost.