Consumed By Fire

No Turning Back

As Jake kissed me for the first time, I let myself go. His tougue swiped across my lips and I parted them without hesitation allowing him to explore my mouth. He pulls back and looks down at me, "See, I told you I could do better than when you kissed me at The Lounge." Laughing I say, "You mean when you kissed me. Do you not remember the shocked look on my face?" With a smirk he says, "Did I? I'm pretty sure you kissed me." "I may have wanted to kiss you that night. If Addy hadn't stopped me from walking you out, I would have really kissed you.", I confess. "I think we should give it another try. What do you think?", Jake asks. Instead of answering I lean in and capture his lips. There is so much passion in the kiss and things begin to heat up rather quickly as Jake rolls over on top of me. I feel his hand sliding up my shirt and remember my pledge to myself on the way over. Breaking the kiss I look at Jake and say, "Maybe we should pump the brakes a bit." "I'm sorry, Taylor. I got carried away. I just can't help myself; you're so damn sexy.", he pouts. Jake resumes his previous position beside me. I settle my head back on his chest as we start to watch the movie again. Jake holds me close and lightly runs his hand across my back. I make the mistake of looking up at him again. He looks back at me with longing and kisses me again. Just like before, the kiss gets heated quickly and the next thing I know, Jake is on top of me again. This time I feel his hand running lightly up my thigh to the hem of my shorts. I reach down and stop him from venturing any farther. He breaks the kiss and looks down at me. "I'm sorry. Am I making you uncomfortable?", he asks. "I'm not uncomfortable, I just think we should slow down a little.", I say trying to convince myself as much as Jake. I am having a hard time not giving in to the desire I feel for this man. I'm afraid that once I give in, he may disappear from my life. Jake does not seem like the type to do that but, I have been a fool before. Maybe I should give in before this gets any deeper. I am not sure I can continue to spend time with him and not fall for him completely. What if the s*x is incredible.... ohhh what if it's not? We settle back in and pretend we're watching the movie again. I feel Jake gently rubbing my back again... Just his light touch is driving me crazy and I am already soaked and pulsing with need. I look up at Jake and he makes a growly sound in his throat, "Taylor, you can't look at me like that. It's taking everything in me not to take you right now." I continue to look into his eyes, silently begging him to try again. Jake kisses me again and as our tongues dance, a moan escapes my lips. This feels so right even though I know what I am doing is wrong. I made the decision to just let go and deal with the fallout later. This time, instead of Jake rolling over on top of me, he flips me over on top of him. Breaking the kiss, I sit up and look him in the eyes as I straddle his erection. I realize he is letting me take the lead again. He wants me, but he wants me to be completely comfortable. "Once I cross this line, I can never go back, you know?", I say. "You deserve better, Taylor. I could treat you so much better.", he says with sincerity. For some reason, I believe him. While he was not always subtle in letting me know he is interested in me, he has respected my situation and let me take the lead. He seems almost too good to be true.

"I want you, Taylor. Can I please have you?", he asks in a way that is both sweet and sexy as hell. Looking down at Jake, I lightly grind down on his erection and say, "I want you, too." Knowing that there are some things to discuss first though I say, "I have an IUD for birth control, I've had the same partner for 10 years and I'm clean.", I say. "I'm clean and I use condoms." Jake responds and pulls me down for a kiss. This time I let go of my inhibitions and let the passion consume me. I continue to grind on his erection as his tongue explores my mouth and he grabs my ass trying to gain more friction under me. Jake then reaches for the button on my shorts and once they are undone, I lift myself and remove them. Jake reaches down and rubs my p***y, "You're so wet for me already, Taylor." I moan, "uhh huhh." He slides a finger inside me, "Fuucckkk, you're so tight too." His words are making me even needier as I reach back to tug at his pants with a whimper. After wiggling out of his pants underneath me he reaches under the pillow and pulls out a condom. c*****g a brow, I ask, "You were planning on seducing me tonight, huh?" "I was definitely going to try.", he says, rolling on the condom. As soon as he rolls the condom on, I lower myself slowly over the thick head of his c**k with a hiss. It feels so good I pull back and bounce on just the head of his c**k while Jake groans in torturous ecstacy beneath me. "Taylor, you're drivng me craz.... ahhhhhh", his words are stolen as I suddenly lower myself to the hilt. "Ahhh, Jake. You feel so good.", I say while grinding my hips to take as much of him as I can. I continue to ride his c**k slow and deep as I feel my orgasm building Jake grinds out, "Oh yeah, give it to me baby, don't hold back." Holy wow, my whole body convulses with the power of my orgasm. I lean down and kiss Jake, my movements coming faster now... bouncing up and down on his c**k until.... I hear Jake growl underneath me as he grinds his hips roughly into me and I feel his thick c**k pulsing inside me. After riding out the orgasm, I gave Jake one last peck on the lips and dismounted him. That was one of, if not the best, orgasm I have ever had. His c**k felt like it was made for me. Jake gets up and disposes of the condom. He offers a washcloth and instead I excuse myself for a few minutes by stating, "I'm just gonna run to the restroom, real quick." Breathe... Mind-blowing orgasm, doesn't mean anything. That connection I feel when I look into his eyes... Is it real or am I just seeing what I want to see? I can't afford to let my imagination run wild here. There is one thing I do know for sure, that wasn't just casual s*x.

Returning to the bedroom, I crawl back onto the bed. "You're so beautiful and so sexy.", Jake says to me. "No, not really but thanks.", I say looking down with pink cheeks. "So, that movie, it didn't really work out. Why don't we try talking for a while?", I suggest. "Can I ask you a strange, possibly offensive question? Purely out of curiosity...", I ask Jake. "Sure.", he says. "What is your ethnicity?", I wonder aloud. "My mother is Vietnamese, she actually moved back there a couple of years ago." "I could tell you are at least part Asian.", I say stupidly. He raises a brow, "Really?, Most people would never guess that." "I think it's cool, I'm just plain ole white bread.", I ramble aloud. Could you be anymore awkward, plain ole white bread?!?! Teleport me home now, please. I'm so weird. Jake doesn't seem to mind my awkwardness and only chuckles at my astute observations. "I'm sorry. I can be a little awkward when I don't know what to talk about and sometimes I overshare.", I confess. "That's fine, you can share anything you want with me.", he says. "Did you grow up here?", I ask. "No, we lived in Birmingham when I was really young and then we moved to a farm near Lawrence after my mom married my step-dad., what about you?", he says. "I grew up just outside Fall City on what I would not ncessarily call a farm but sort of. My grandmother had chickens, we had big gardens and my dad would raise hogs sometimes. We then moved to a really rural area called Stonefort a couple of counties away before eventually moving to Florida at the end of my junior year of high school and I have already shared with you how I ended up back here after my aunt passed away.", providing more detail than Jake expected. We went on to talk about our experiences growing up and he told me about losing his best friend and I shared that I had also lost my best friend, just before moving back home. Conversation was easy and we kept it to light topics and I felt the need to let Jake know something, "This outgoing girl you met... She's not me. I'm not a party girl, regardless of what you have seen over the past month. Hell, up until the last few months, I hardly ever went out at all. I am actually usually a pretty boring person. If the party girl is what you are looking for, I'm not her." "You seem to be in your element when you are out. No, I'm not looking for a party girl. There was a reason I invited you here tonight instead of meeting you at The Lounge.", Jake says. "Well, I think we already covered the reason you invited me over, earlier.", I say with a smirk. "Don't get me wrong, I wanted you but that was just a bonus. I wanted to just hang out with you in a comfortable environment. I wanted to be able to hold you and to kiss you, if that is what you wanted.", he says seriously. "I don't think I've ever met anyone quite like you.", I reply with a smile. "What kind of shows do you like to watch?", Jake asks me. "I really don't watch a lot of TV. I read a lot and I listen to music.", I say. "I like to read as well. Mostly fantasy stuff. What do you like to read?", he asks. "It's kind of embarrassing, but I am a little obsessed with supernatural stuff like vampires and werewolves. One of the latest series I read was about fae. I was always so scared of everything when I was little, but vampires always intrigued me.", I answer. "I think I have a show you may like." he says as he pulls up a show and starts an episode. "Oh, I have heard of this. I think I have seen an episode or two." I say as we settle back in to watch TV again. I begin to rub his chest and down his stomach and slowly creeping lower. "Taylor, what are you doing?", he says huskily.

Instead of answering, I look up at Jake as I continue to rub lower. "You know, I bet he'd wake right up if you gave him a little kiss.", Jake says. Oh not tonight, Jakey boy. I can't reveal all my tricks on the first night we're together. Instead of answering him, I stand and begin to remove my clothing as Jake watches. I don't know what has gotten into me because I am normally very self-concious about my body. "Don't look at my mommy marks.", I say looking down at the floor. "You're beautiful.", he says as he stands up and walks over to me. Jake lays me back on the bed pulling me to let my legs dangle over the edge of the bed. He is standing between my legs and begins to caress my body. He starts with my breasts and down my stomach until he reaches my slick button. He rubs circles on my c**t before sliding one finger in as he drinks in my body, devouring my pleasure with his eyes. "Please..", I beg, riding his hand. Jake snatches down his pants and thrusts inside me without breaking eye contact, "Your p***y is perfect." His words cause my inner walls to pulse around his impressive c**k. Moaning as I meet Jake thrust for thrust... His thrusts start out slow and long but soon become faster and more erratic and I feel his c**k getting even harder inside me. "Oh yes, Jake!", I moan. His entire body spasms as he slams into me with a growl releasing himself inside me, causing my p***y to clamp down around him. Looking up at him I say, "Mmmmm, That's what I'm talkin' about!" Wait, we didn't use a condom this time. "Uhh Jake?", I say pointing to his semi-erect p***s, "ummm, no condom..." "s**t, I'm sorry. When you said, please, all rational thought left and I only wanted to give you what you wanted..", he says with a slightly worried expression. "Well, I didn't stop you, it didn't even register.", I state. Jake walks away and comes back to offer me a washcloth to clean up. This time, I accept it and don't excuse myself. I let him see me, all of me. The way he looked me, as if I am perfect... I move to quickly get dressed. I check the time and it is now after 1:00 AM.

Jake dresses and returns to his previous spot on the bed and pats the bed beside him. "I really should go, it's really late.", I say. "I'm not ready for you to leave.", he says, looking me in the eye. "I don't want to leave yet, either. I'll stay just a little while longer.", I say. As I am getting settled back in next to Jake, my phone starts ringing, it's Rose. I send the call to voicemail not wanting to have to explain to Rose over the phone and in front of Jake that I gave in and slept with him and now I am too awkward to just go home. I'm afraid that once I leave this room, this, whatever this is with Jake, will be over. Jake, on the other hand, seems completely at ease and if he notices my internal turmoil, he doesn't mention it. My phone rings again and Jake says, "You can get that if you need to." "Oh, it's just my sister checking on me. I'll just send her a text message.", I say.

T: I'm fine. Still with Jake. I'll be home soon. Details...later

R: Okay, don't make me worry like that though.

T: I'm sorry. Love you, sis

"Okay, she just wanted to make sure you haven't taken me hostage and made me your s*x slave.", I say jokingly. "Something tells me that may just be the other way around. I think you're a wild one.", he winks at me. I have nothing to lose at this point so I may as well lay it all out there. "If you are insinuating that I seem to really enjoy s*x, you are 100% correct, especially what we just experienced. It's so hard liking s*x as much as I do and being married to someone I hate. I haven't had s*x in months before tonight.", I admit. "How can you stand it, to not have s*x, I mean?", he says curiously. "I have a couple of vibrators that I have to sneak around to use. The dumbass has always tried to make me feel ashamed of my sexuality. Not all men can handle a woman that is not afraid to express herself through s****l contact. If I ever said anything like, 'f**k me', I would get a lecture about how we are married and we don't f**k. God, I'm sorry. You don't want to hear that. I guess my point is, I'm tired of being sexually repressed.", I finally finish. "I think you're perfect and I would never sexually repress you. Feel free to express yourself through any and all forms of s****l contact with me.", Jake says with a smile. I snuggle into his side with my head on his chest and after a few minutes, I notice that he is starting to fall asleep. "I really should go, you look sleepy.", I say softly. "Don't go yet. Just lie here with me for a while.", he says and for some reason, I don't refuse. Jake never falls asleep as we continue with light conversation and a little heavy petting, when I notice it's now 4:40 AM. "Jake, I really do need to go. I need to go home and shower and get to work.", I say. "You're going to work this morning?", he questions with a worried expression. Starting to panic a bit I say, "Yes, I did not intend to stay out all night. I need to get home to wake my kids up." "At least let me make you a cup of coffee. If I had known you were going to work, I would have insisted on you getting a little sleep.", Jake scolds. Giving in to this man yet again, "Okay, but please make it quick. I should really be out of here by 5:00." We start to make our way downstairs with me in the lead for some reason. "Watch that last..", Jakes words are cut off as I feel myself falling to my knees. Jake rushes to help me up, "Are you okay?" "Step, you were gonna say watch that last step... I'm okay nothing bruised here except my hot girl status, and possibly my knees.", I try to laugh off my embarrassment.

I pulled into my driveway at 5:15 AM. Hoping that everyone was still asleep, I quietly slipped through the front door. Luck was on my side and I made it to my bedroom without any questioning looks. I gather the clothes I need and hop in the shower. I close my eyes as I rinse the shampoo out of my hair and as the suds and warm water slide down my body, I think about Jake caressing my body while standing over me. His hungry eyes devouring me. I don't even realize that I have traced the same path with my own hand until my finger slides across my c**t. "Ohhh, yes!", I moan. Keeping my eyes closed, I rub circles on my c**t before thrusting my finger in. Picturing Jake pumping in and out of me, I increase my speed; riding my own hand. I feel my walls start to clench as I remember the look on Jake's face and the animalistic growl he gave while he came inside me and I explode. My legs shake as I grab the wall for stability. Remembering that I was short on time, I finished my shower in hurry and started my day off like normal, only I wasn't normal. I didn't know if I would ever be normal again.

When I got to my desk at the office, I sent Jake a text.

T: Made it to work

Before putting away my phone, I decide to sort out a lunch date with Lana:

T: Can you do lunch today, offsite?

L: Sure, 12:00?

T: Yep, meet you at the reception desk

Putting away my phone, I try to lose myself in work but it's not easy to do. My mind keeps drifting back to last night and how Jake looked at me and all of the sweet things that he said to me. I am definitely infatuated with Jake at this point. Finally, it is time to meet Lana for lunch. I see Lana wating for me at reception and I wave. As we walk out the door she says, "Where are we going and what did you do?" Looking at her with a smile I say, "Are you good with just going to pick something up and eating at your desk when we get back? More talk time if I am not eating." "Okay, I can eat when I get back." Lana answers as we get into her car. "So, I kind of went to Jake's house last night.", I tell her trying to look innocent. "Okay, and...", she prompts. "And.... Oh My God, Lana he is the sweetest and the most adorable but yet, sexy at the same time, man, I have ever met. Also.... we had sex.", I stop and look over to judge her reaction. That's the thing about Lana, she doesn't judge me. Giving nothing away with her expression she replies, "I see, and how do you feel about that?" "I'm scared that he may not be interested now that I gave him the goods. I'm infatuated with him; I can't get him out of my head. Lana, it felt like so much more than just casual sex.", I say dazedly. A thought occurring to me, I blurt out, "I guess it should say something that the first thing out of mouth wasn't guilt. I feel no remorse for going behind Clyde's back. That being said, I neither have a desire to rub this in his face to hurt him. As far as Clyde goes, I think I just want to keep this quiet until I know what it is." Lana gives me a knowing look, "So, what does that mean, for you?" Looking thoughtfully, I say, "There is nothing left to save. There was a time that I would have said I would never do something like this. I may not have gotten married for the right reasons, but, I took those vows seriously. I saw what my dad's cheating did to my mom. The fact that I would go this far just means I've already left the marriage, emotionally." "What are you going to do about it?", she asks bluntly. "Time to start making my escape plan. Regardless of what happens with Jake, it is not fair to me or to Clyde to continue to stay in this marriage. He won't just let me go quietly... He thinks he owns me or something.", I say. "Taylor, you know what you need to do. Only you know how to prepare for it. Just know that I am here for you. Divorce is never easy, especially with kids involved.", she says. "Talking to you always makes me feel better. I think you missed your calling as a counselor.", I tease. "Being a sponsor has taught me how to listen more and speak less. People tend to take things more easily when it is their idea.", she says with a wink. "Speaking of, I still think it wouldn't hurt for you to attend some Al-Anon meetings. They can very helpful for the family members of addicts.", she encourages. "I know, I'll look into it, promise." We arrive back at the office and part ways at reception. Now back at my desk, I check my phone and see that Jake responded to my text to let him know when I got home. I am no longer hungry as I try to think of ways to peacefully end my marriage. Glancing at the calendar I'm reminded that Jake's birthday is in a couple of days. This would be a perfect time to take a few days off work.

When I arrived home from work, Rose was ready for me to explain why I did not come in until after 5:00 AM. I rehashed the events of the night before and when I finished, she just looked at me and said, "I just want you to be happy. Whatever that looks like for you." After updating Rose, I send a quick text to Jake.

T: Home with kids, about to start dinner

J: Okay, talk later?

T: absolutely.;)

After dinner I spend a little time with kids before preparing their baths and getting them ready for bed. I am heading to the shower when my phone starts ringing. "Hi, Jake.", I say. "Hi Taylor, how was your day?", he asks. "Oh it was fine, just required a little extra coffee is all.", I say. "I don't plan to keep you long because I know you are probably tired after last night. I just wanted to hear your voice", he says. Swoon, just adorable!! "So, what would you say if I wanted to take you out for your birthday?", I ask. "You want to take me out on a date?", he chuckles. "Yes, I would like to take you on a dinner date for your birthday.", I say. "Well I will definitely go to dinner with you and but I will pay. I can't have allow you to pay.", he argues. "It's your birthday, I'm paying, get over it. Independent woman here, remember?", I retort. "We'll get together on the details later. I need to shower and get in bed, since someone kept me up all night.", I teased. "Goodnight, Taylor, sweet dreams.", he says. "Goodnight Jake."

The next morning I awake feeling refreshed and happier than I've flet in a long time. To make things even better, today is Friday at work. Five day weekend, here I come. I breeze through the rest of the day. I get a text from Jake around 8:30 that night.

J: What are you doing?

T: Just sitting here reading, what are you doing?

J: We're about to go swimming, wanna come over?

T: I'm about to put my kids to bed, they have a 9:00 bedtime.

J: come over after? I wanna see you

T: I'll text you when I have them down.

Once I get the kids settled in bed I text Jake and he talks me into driving over. I arrive as Jake and his boys are getting out of the pool. I guess I was a little surprised that he didn't mention that they were home. Are we meeting kids already? This is not casual. When I walk up on the patio where they are drying off, Jake introduces me as his friend to his sons and nephew. They are very cute kids. I wait as Jake and the boys change into some dry clothes. We go down to the kitchen where Jake starts heating up a snack. "Hey baby, are you hungry?", I hear Jake say. I am pretty sure that I visibly flinch. I'm baby, already? Well nothing ventured, nothing gained. Let's roll with it. Smiling at Jake, "No thank you, I had dinner before I came over and it's too late to eat." Laughing at me he says, "Too late to eat? It's never too late to eat if your hungry." After he finishes his food we sit down in the living room to watch a movie with the kids. Jake held me close to his side during the entire movie. When the movie ended, he walked me out to my truck. We kissed for what felt like forever. "I really should get going. Happy Birthday, Jake. I'll see you later.", I say.