Half Of Rhea

The Ride

 Rhea and her son sat in the kitchen, whipping up pancakes. She had, just enough ingredients to make a pretty decent batch. Times were tough for their little family, any little bit of money they were able to get, was spent on their bare necessities. Of course she was the only one that contributed, in any way, to their finances. Every cent was accounted for, every egg had a purpose, every tray of meat was stretched over two or three recipes for dinner. So to have pancakes for breakfast, was a luxury for them. Laken sat on his stool in anticipation for the treats, they were about to indulge in.

It was going to be a busy day. There were a lot of tasks they had to complete, to make it through another day. The list of things to do, streamed endlessly in Rhea's mind.... It was all made more difficult by the fact they didn't have a car and had to walk everywhere. Zane had a car but fat chance they would be allowed to use it. With the pancakes cooking and flipping in the pan, they set the table for the two of them to enjoy. The door eased open as Zane stood there staring at them. 

"Is there enough for me too?''....

If this was an apology, it was a weak one. But not one, to deny any person who is hungry, food, she inclined her head towards the table and motioned for him to sit down. He sat down tentatively and tried to make conversation with Laken. The hushed words could barely be heard, by Rhea in the kitchen, but she could tell there was no malice in it.

This was how the atmosphere always changed in their home with outbursts, followed by an acceptance of both parties, to just move on without acknowledging, what had just happened. 

It created a tense, anxious environment, which was only appeased by Zane's change in mood. If he was happy, then they were allowed to be happy. If he was angry, they better get out of the f*****g way. Although he had yet to get physical with either one of them, their arguments had escalated over the last 3 months. Being the optimist she was, Rhea believed things could get better, but there were so many more steps backwards then forwards, at this time.

"Do you have many things you have to do today?"

..... "Uh a few things, take son to kindergarten, pick up some food from the supermarket, I will take the bus, then pick son up, clean the house, go to the doctor's at 330 pm, for a check-up, for Laken's asthma, then to the pharmacy and all the rest of it."

Rhea placed the pancakes on the table and they started helping themselves. She helped Laken with the golden syrup. He tended to overdo it and make them so sickly, that they were inedible. Kid's and their lack of self control with anything sweet, she chuckled to herself.

Zane was staring at his plate and started eating, without looking at her, eyes still fixed on the food in front of him, he took a mouthful and half mumbled,  "I'll take you."

Although it would make her day so much easier, apprehension sat in the back of her throat.

"It's fine, I don't want to impose, I'll take the bus and walk wherever else I need to go."

There was a brief moment of silence, before he huffed and stated, rather then asked this time. 

"I said, I will take you."

Well then that's that, she thought. There was no escaping this, as much as she wanted to enjoy the freedom and fresh air of getting out on her own, the dark shadow of anxiousness, was going to be escorting her around the whole day.

"Thank you" she half sighed in defeat.

"Oh that's so good mama, now you don"t have to walk everywhere and you won't be too tired to play with me later!"

"hmm lucky me," she smiled at his innocent face.

"Now come, finish up, we will start getting you ready for your day baby."

They cleared the table, stacked the dishes to be done later, and hurried off to gather missing socks, shoes, his lunchbox and drink bottle and the copious amounts of other items, that were needed for his half day at kindergarten. The requirements for a nearly four year old, for kindy, seemed to be a tad ridiculous to Rhea. Spare change of clothes, spare hat, fruit to share, lunch, water and, no peanut butter, no eggs, no unhealthy options. It was hard to keep up with, especially when you are on such a tight budget, however she always managed to just make it work.

Laken was finally organised, happy, all ready to go and parked in front of the t.v, watching his favourite dvd, Cars. The sound of revving engines and the opening song enabled her to get away, and she hastily ran to the bathroom. She chucked herself in the shower and threw some random clothes on the basin. She wanted to look semi presentable, to the teachers and the general public.

After ten minutes, she had wrestled on some jeans, a plain white top and carried her cardigan, now that the early morning frost had left, it was probably too many layers for today. She tossed her hair up into a high ponytail, grabbed her eyeliner and mascara and delicately applied, before rushing out the door. Stumbling around frantically, looking for her missing ballet flat, she bumped into a hard wall of grey and white and quickly looked up, realising she hadn't been paying attention.

"oh shit... sorry".... She went a little red. How awkward she thought. Their lack of any physical contact for the last three and a half weeks was apparent. Not even a handshake, she giggled at the ridiculousness.

He ignored her and yelled out for their son to get in the car. Well it must just be me whose feeling awkward, she thought. She brushed it off and they carried on to the car, as she went around to the passenger side, she reached for the door handle and pulled slightly. Zane stopped in front of her and closed the door she had partially opened and glared at her. Rhea stood there a little confused...... "Uh....what?"...

"You're not going out looking like that."

"Like what?!"... She stood before him incredulous. As far as she was concerned, she looked perfectly respectable, she was never one to look terrible in public or dress inappropriately.

"Your t**s are out for everyone to see." He stated matter-of-fact like.

The bus had gone and there was no way she could make it to all of her destinations, on time, if she refused this ride. If she fought against his ridiculousness, over one single white top, that barely let any skin be visible, then her son would miss kindy and she wouldn't achieve everything. And so she sighed defeated, another round of control, won by this guy.

She trudged back inside, without saying a word. When she emerged with a high-neck, black, long sleeved top and her jacket, he was seated in the drivers seat with the engine on, ready to go. They didn't look at each other but this must have been more acceptable because he started reversing out of the driveway.

And the mental games had begun. This was going to be a long ass day.

They lived in a relatively small town. It had a pub, a cafe, a kindergarten and school and that was pretty much it. If you didn't want to pay exorbitant prices for food, then you had to drive one town over to get to the supermarket. Although there wasn't much in terms of places to go, this town had a quaint little charm about it. The people all knew each other, the teachers cared about their pupils, the shop keeper knew everyone's name. It gave Rhea a sense of belonging and she was happy with the prospect of staying here forever. Watching Laken grow up with his pals at kindy and with the surrounding families, who let their kids ride bikes around town making her feel nostalgic. It would be like her childhood growing up. Where slightly older, primary school aged kids, hung out at the skate park, eating hot chips after school. The town kids congregated at the local, free swimming pool during the summer months. It was peaceful and it was safe. 

They arrived at the kindergarten, without Rhea even noticing the journey. They had travelled, in complete silence. She went to open the door and a hand grabbed her upper arm roughly.

"Make it quick."

"Yup...."

She hopped out quickly and maintained a stoic, slightly smiling facade. This she was used to. Like a doll, putting on a front for anyone who looked in her direction. The smiling, young mum, who was happy and had her s**t together. So grateful she was, that humans hadn't developed the ability to mind read. Everyone would be able to see right through her.

She gathered all of Laken's belongings and walked with ease and confidence up to the gate, he ran in ahead of her, as she signed him into the register. The smell of old lunch boxes, kids, sweat, play dough and hand sanitizer drifted through the air and up their nostrils. Kids running in every direction, she took his bag to his hook and unpacked his lunch and drink bottle.

"Good morning", "Morning".... "Hi, How are you?", "Hey Lakey!" a chorus of teachers, kids and other parents sung out to them and a genuine smile crossed her face. Everyone here was so friendly and she was relieved she could leave her son in the hands of such caring and capable people. She gave him a quick kiss and hug and walked out the door, before she was engulfed in painting and play dough making.

As she hopped back into the car, Zane was on the phone. She tried hard, to not listen in on the conversation but that was near impossible, given the close proximity of said driver and passenger.

"Yeah bro.... probably not till later tonight........ Ok I'll hit the old man up..... Sweet ring me later, i'll let you know how I go.." 

He hung up and Rhea hoped that conversation meant he was off tonight, to do whatever it is he does. She had come up with many different scenarios over the past six months. It always involved 'the bros'. Most of which, Rhea had never met. Zane made sure to keep their lives and his 'extra-curricular' activities completely separate. Sometimes it was days before she saw him again and other times it was only a few hours. She gave up asking where he was going, when his endless, lame excuses got increasingly pathetic.

Whatever he was up to, she figured she was better off, left out of it. And he was only too happy to oblige the idea of, the less said the better. 

"I've got s**t to do tonight with some of the boys."

"Ok then, we will make this day quick ay?" Another good reason to get it over and done with quickly.

"Mmmm......." He wasn't paying attention to her and barely glancing at the road, as he drove, one-handedly, furiously typing away a text message.

They swerved just at the last moment, as an oncoming car suddenly appeared in front of them. Panic had rendered Rhea speechless, and she just sat there, gripping the arm rest on the passenger side door, like a possum caught in the headlights. 

"Oh... Whoops".... his nonchalant attitude made her furious, as they veered back onto the right side of the road and not into oncoming traffic.

"That was f*****g ridiculous... put your phone down, I don't want to die today!"

The look he gave her, reminded her of why she never let her mouth run away on her. In the heat of the moment, she had let her thoughts slip out. He pulled the car over to the side of the road and continued glaring at her.

"Ah... I-I'm s-sorry... I think I got s-sort of nervous.... ha....ha...."

"It was your f*****g fault for blabbering on, while i was trying to concentrate..... now get out."

He motioned towards the door.

 "But what about the groceries?".....

 "I don't care, figure it out yourself."

Was he being serious? He was the one that insisted on taking her in the first place. Is this a test? she thought. Would he follow her or would it be better for her to take her chances on an empty road? She grasped the opportunity and hopped out of the car, with her belongings.

He didn't hesitate and he drove off, leaving her on her own. The tail lights of the Grey Nissan Primera, trailed off into the distance and she breathed a sigh of relief. 

"Oh well... Guess this can't get much worse and at least its a beautiful day." She said to the clear blue sky.