Regrets in Love

Chapter 4 - Surprise

2 Years Later

Starting a new job was always nerve-wracking. So much pressure not to screw up until some time down the road your boss realizes you're not a dumbass. At least that has been my experience. It's been hard not being able to rely on the pack I gave up. I've made a few friends in the city, mostly humans. Mom and Dad come to visit every month. Even Travis does every once in a while. Of course, he's busy with pack business, as it should be. He takes his job as Gamma very seriously. He thinks Morgan made a mistake, but what can he do about it? It's not his life to live. Travis was literally born for the job as Gamma, so it wouldn't be right to expect him to quit. I would never expect or accept that.

Morgan never came after me. I guess I thought he would. Not that I would have gone back after what he pulled. At least not at first. I have my pride and it would have been too humiliating. I've done a lot of thinking since then. There wasn't much else to do. Rhea told me he's been moping around the pack for the last few years. Never laughing or smiling, stoic even, I think she called him. He hadn't been paired with any she-wolves either, which I do find strange. After all, he was so insistent, wasn't he? Well, he made his choice. It's none of my business.

I've been dating and tonight I've got a blind date with a werewolf. Rhea found her mate when she turned 18 and paired me up with one of her mate's friends. It's always nice to hang with fellow wolves. I can't talk about anything supernatural with any of the humans I know and befriended. Most humans don't know about us and we want to keep it that way. Certain important humans know we exist but they keep it hush hush. Think of the panic it would cause if our existence became common knowledge.

I became a member of a small inner city wolf pack. This was only so I wouldn' t go rogue. My new pack meets once a month and pays dues kind of like a membership in any sort of club, really. The Alpha has a small office staff for any disputes with members. We have a quarterly BBQ to mix and mingle but it's all been really rather boring. I go in hopes I will come across my second chance mate. Unfortunately, it hasn't happened so far and I grow more discouraged each year that goes by. If Morgan had accepted me, we would probably have a couple of pups by now. It was lonely being away from everyone and everything I ever knew. Most especially because it shouldn't be this way.

I was hoping this new job would get me out of my funk. I keep doing things to try to move my life forward, but I always feel like I'm in a slump. I have never had one of those bubbly personalities like Rhea. I'm a more serious personality type but I love to laugh and have fun. Unfortunately, though, without my family and bestie, well, life has been rather dull.

I've thought about traveling from pack to pack. To find something or someone that fits. I have even considered moving to a new town, perhaps on the other side of the country. Anything to feel alive again. I haven't felt like myself since I rejected Morgan. Actually, that's not entirely true. I haven't felt myself since he accepted it. I wasn't enough for him. He made that known, loud and clear. I just can't seem to make myself move away from my family, even if it might be good for me.

I check in with my new boss to make sure everything is finished for the day so that I can leave. I'm going straight from work to the restaurant to meet my blind date. The irony is not lost on me that I started my day off nervous about my new job, but leaving I'm nervous for an entirely different reason.

I stop in the restroom to fix my hair and makeup. I'm wearing a black pencil skirt and a sleeveless red blouse with a ruffled V neck. The color looks nice against my tanned skin and dark hair. I freshen up my mascara so my green eyes will pop. I rub on some light colored lip gloss that enhances my plump lips.

I walk the two blocks to the restaurant and leave my car in the parking garage near my job. I recommended this restaurant and bar for the friendly, laid back atmosphere. I'm a few minutes early so I headed to the bar to order whipped vodka with orange juice. I sip my drink and watch the door. I know he will be wearing a blue button-up shirt and he knows I'm wearing red. I try not to wonder about him or have any expectations. That way I won't be disappointed.

I watched a tall male figure walk past the glass window of the restaurant. The business logo is in the way and I can't see his face but the shirt is right. I try not to tense up too much when the man walks in and pauses in the doorway. The hostess greets him but my breath gets stuck in my throat. It's happening again. I smell the most amazing smell, but that isn't Morgan at the door. I'm going to kill Rhea. That is no blind date because I've definitely seen this man before. It's Beta Zander.

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Do you ever wonder about this person or that from your past? I do. Certain classmates that were funny or that athelete who you just knew they would go far? Maybe a musician or artist. What did they make of their lives?

I wondered about Zander nearly as much as I wondered about Morgan. I feel drawn to his power, perhaps? Did you think it was easy rejecting an ALPHA? Ha! Not even close. Then there was Zander. The Beta of the pack. He had not taken his position yet the last time I saw him but you could see, in everything he did, that he was going to be great at it. On the plus side, he was as gorgeous as Morgan. They were both tall and well built. Muscular from years of warrior training. Broad shoulders, narrow waists, I mean what's not to like? While Morgan was dark, Zander was light. His dirty blond hair and bright blue eyes captured the attention of many, and I do mean many she-wolves. He was a flirt. More so than Morgan. Morgan would just stand there and attract attention. Zander loved to chat up the girls vying for his attention. But the guys liked his charismatic nature and he always had an entourage around our high school. I can't imagine that any of that has changed.

I'm not much of an ass kisser. If you think I'm beneath you? Whatever. I'll just wait for your downfall. You're not a good person, so it will happen. I literally make myself disregard a person's position in life and I look to the person themselves. What qualities do they have? Are they moral or amoral? Do they donate to charity, help orphans, provide food for the homeless? Do they abuse power? I hate bullies and the last time I saw Morgan he tried to bully me. It's why I rejected the pack. I wasn't going to be backed into a corner and forced to do something that I didn't agree with. I know my parents would have tried to convince me that I should wait for the alpha to be ready for me. What about me? I need to come first in my mate's life or what is the damn point?

Obviously, Morgan had other things on his mind other than taking a mate. That's his right. As much as it was my right to say "no" I'm not going to be relegated to second best, so you can fool around. It disgusts me to even consider it. I wasn't as confident as I seemed at the time. I've had plenty of time to think. Did I make a mistake? The only thing I know for sure is that Morgan didn't change his mind. In all this time he hasn't come for me. My life has become one monotonous day after another.

Until this moment.

Zander saw me almost immediately and sauntered over. "Hello, Helen. You are even more beautiful than the last time I saw you."

He kissed me on the cheek and I gasped in shock. Tingles ran through me. My eyes shot to his and while I expected to see surprise in his, there was none. I didn't know what to say and I stuttered out, "You, you..."

"Hello Mate."