Paradise

1.2

Dora ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و ̑̑ : Hey girly! Did u make it home safe?

Me: ….im still at the office

Dora ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و ̑̑ : :( :( :( WTF DO U MEAN?!?

Me: I got stopped at heavens gate :´( :´( :´( got stuck w/ the baset

Me: Beast*

Dora ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و ̑̑ : :o :o are u ok??

Me: ...yes? Idk...

Dora ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و ̑̑ : wth happened?!?! Do I need to come over??

Me: A lot...

Dora ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و ̑̑ : So...

Me: Come over.

Dora ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و ̑̑ : I'm omw

Me: I'll meet you there. Bring wine

Dora ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و ̑̑ : >--{ duhh

Me: Thank you

Dora ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و ̑̑ : Always

I sent back a text confirming the statement and set my phone down.

My thoughts ran back to the encounter that had taken place, a shock of panic panged through me causing my breath to come out shorter than normal.

I couldn't believe that she'd gotten so close to me and I didnt have the bruises to show, at this point I'm not sure which side of her I'd prefer.

Both versions scared the piss out of me but for different reasons, the 'nice' side of her was unpredictable and could easily hide her ill intentions behind that treacherous smile. And the other side was terrifying because…. Well for obvious reasons.

With a sigh I shifted, pulling my seatbelt over my chest as I started the engine. I let it idle for a moment, allowing the heat to circulate the small cab.

When I was satisfied with the temperature I put the car into gear and began making my way through the garage.

The familiar curve welcomed me as I looped between columns and past the remaining cars still in place, waiting for their owners to emerge and ride off into the sunset.

My smile began to grow as the day's events took a seat on the back burner, the beautiful outside world having taken my attention from the cloud of despair that emitted through the walls of the building.

The one positive aspect of the job is that it made the outside world seem brighter, happier even. A few hours behind those four walls could make even the most cheerful person dive into a sea of depression. I would know.

But as the building grew smaller in my rearview mirror the more I felt the knot in my stomach loosen, as well as my shoulders relaxing after being so tense.

A relieved feeling washed through me causing me to roll down the window, regardless of the brisk temperature. The chill of the air hitting my exposed skin sent goosebumps to crawl over the flesh but at that very moment I didn't care, I was free. At least for the rest of the night, then I'd be up at 4:30 ready to do it all over again.

The fact alone cut my little celebration short as I realized in horror that I'd have to face Mrs. Jones again after what had transpired in the elevator.

The thought alone nearly caused me to spiral, my mind veered away from the road back to the office; the tender spot on the back of my head gave a throb as if reminding me of its presence.

I felt myself chewing my lip before I actually noticed I was. My index finger tapped against the steering wheel inconsistently, as my mind recapped the entire day from start to finish, but it always seemed to stray towards the incident.

I stomped the brakes as I noticed that the traffic light had turned red while I was spacing out; stopping just over the line I took a deep breath, looking around the surrounding area to make sure no law enforcement officer had been around to see that.

When I was sure nobody important noticed, I decided to stop and grab something sweet. I needed a break from the road and figured Dora and Zeus could wait a bit if they made it to my place before me.

Upon scanning the area, I realized that I was about five minutes away from a cute little coffeehouse. It would mean adding an additional ten to my drive but the temptation of fresh baked pastries made it worth the extra time in the car.

Turning my blinker on, I turned left instead of continuing straight through the now green light. The lanes opened wider, allowing dual traffic on either side; staying in the right lane I sped up to match traffic, making sure to watch out for my turn off.

I was a bit down the road when it finally came into view.

The light yellow building was like a pale sun, warm and inviting, it stood out against the surrounding gray and red brick buildings despite them towering over it by a landslide.

The bell atop the door chimed as I entered, alerting the patrons of my entrance.

Though strangely enough, I couldn't see any of the workers aroun-

Just then a small woman came up from further back in the cafe, her brow was knit together as her face contorted with barely pent up rage, however as her eyes laid upon me her entire demeanor transformed, as though someone had flipped a switch inside of her she was instantly all smiles, her eyes shone bright as if whatever had been bothering never even happened.

"Hello!" She began, her voice rising in pitch, taking on the employee tone that every food service worker knew of and perfected. "My name is Tamara, how can I help you today?" She asked me, her smile never wavering.

I was taken aback at first, seeing as I knew for a fact that she'd been upset but also knowing that she was working and therefore probably couldn't just take out her anger on every customer she ran into.

"C-can I have," I began, my voice cut off as my eyes landed on a familiar figure.

She was still wearing the same outfit from this morning with the addition of a loose fitting hoodie that covered her coffee stained blouse.

The girl sat in the very back of the place with her head in her hands, the shake of her shoulder told me that she was crying or at least had been recently.

Her hair sat atop her head in a messy knot, keeping it in place so that she could truly let her body curl into itself.

In front of her her phone lay abandoned, face down on the table, it looked as though she had attempted to slide it away from her without actually tossing it.

My throat went dry, I was brought back to the register by the barista clearing her throat, looking back I met her icy blue stare.

Her face had hardened drastically, replacing the sweet, helpful worker with a super pissed looking one.

"I said," she began, her voice coming out cross, "how can I help you?" She stated, emphasizing the 'I'.

Blinking back my shock, I scanned the menu looking for the pastry section of the board; as I found it I realized that they had a variety of desserts ranging anywhere from brownies, to cake pops, to muffins.

Looking back at the woman with wide eyes, I began stumbling out an order. A look of regret flashed through her eyes as she patiently waited for me to finish my nonsensical rambling.

When I'd finally spit out the entire order she began reciting it back to me, her voice reverting back to its original soft tone.

As I began paying for my desserts the girl looked up, as though a thought had come to her mind. Her face twisted in horror as my transaction went through, I watched her wearily as she ran to the back towards the kitchen area. She was gone for maybe a minute or two when she reappeared, a look of fear washing over her features.

"Ma'am, I'm so sorry but I just realized that our chocolate chip muffins are still in the oven, if you'd like I can refund the item for you." She tugged at her fingers, awaiting my answer.

For what felt like the billionth time today, I felt my body relaxed and relief swarmed its senses. Giving an easy smile I assure the young lady of the time, she gave me a reassured grin before returning to the back of the place.

After putting a decent tip in the jar I turned, surveying the area once more; my attention was quickly brought back to the other woman still frozen in defeat.

I wanted to approach her, but what could I say? And even if I managed to say anything, what good would it do? What if my going over there just made her already terrible day worse?

I felt my resolve harden, I was just going to stand here until my order was ready.

My hand made its way to the rectangular device I'd stashed in my pocket upon entering, my phone welcomed me with the sight of the Grecian sunset. It was one of the few photos I kept from my getaway.

Just as I went to put my pass code in and unlock the device I heard a sob, it echoed around the emptied space causing my head to snap towards the sound.

I felt my heart crack at the sight that greeted me, the woman's body rocked back and forth slightly; her arms were wrapped around her knees which she'd brought up to rest her head against, from what I could see, her face had taken a bright pink color and was beginning to puff around her eyes.

She looked miserable.

A part of me felt a familiar pull to her, as I knew first hand how the office seemingly drained the happiness and life out of a person.

Whereas a smaller part reminded me that I would probably serve as a reminder of the day she'd had; images of earlier piled into my mind, for. the way her face had gone pale before the blood rushed into her face to the way she cried before lashing out.

And at the very back of my mind, taking up maybe a fraction of my attention was an image. The image was the week back at the office after the passing of our CEO, Jameson Jones; it had been the first time she'd shown the beast in the workplace.

I had been much braver back then, and would walk up to her office doors at the first sight of trouble; back then she'd open it wider and allow me to enter before sitting down with me to discuss whatever had caught my attention. This time however, when she opened the door the face that greeted me was twisted in a scornful grimace, as though I were the last thing she'd ever wanted to see.

The look was followed by a berating lecture about self-sufficiency and the importance of an employee of such an establishment having such qualities.

Back then it had ruined me, condemning me to an afternoon of tears and overworking in order to gain back whatever traction I'd had in Mrs. Jones' favor; the more I thought back to those days, the more I wished to go back and comfort the girl I was, tell her to get out while she was still able.

The girl turned abruptly, a cough wracking her body as tears continued to stain her face. At the sight of me she paused; her red face seemed to bleed to a deeper red, as she took in my form.

Neither of us said a thing as we both openly stared at each other.

In hindsight, if I had been in a super vulnerable position and turned to find a stranger staring at me, I, of course, would have been dumbfounded as well. However her sudden attention on me was not what had taken my breath away.

As I stared into the face of the young girl all I could see was a mirror reflection of myself, back all those years ago as I cried quietly to myself in my cubicle.

Her mouth had dropped open in confusion before realization flooded her features; I felt my body move forward just as her hands came up to her face, attempting to get rid of the wet streaks.

My arms wrapped around the girl, bringing her tightly to my chest as my hand went up to lovingly stroke her hair instinctively.

A familiar feeling of warmth took over me as I heard her voice fade over me, the ghost of her body caressed mine as she calmed me. My eyes closed pulling the physical body closer hoping to keep this feeling for just a moment more.

However the warmth left me as quickly as it had come, regardless of how much my arms tightened around the body beside me, leaving me ice cold in its wake.

The feeling of her arms hugging me back was the only thing keeping me from dropping my arms and storming from the building without my order.

The girl began to sob, her fingers bunched the back of my jacket as she pulled me closed, grabbing at me as though I were a liferaft that appeared in the eye of her own personal hurricane.

Her voice came out in muffled whimpers as she tried to apologize; her face remained in my chest as I began positioning the two of us into the booth she'd been in.

I shushed her softly as I attempted to grab a couple napkins out of the holder with one hand as my other continued to smooth her hair gently.

For a while we sat there, I let her bawl her eyes out without a sign of judgment, the only sounds that came from me were those of consolation. My voice had dropped to a low and calm tone as I began to slowly dry off the tears that had made its way down her chin, she allowed me to dry her neck of the dampness that had collected from her stream of despair.

I watched as the time passed, feeling a sense of dèja vù, however instead of the feeling of escape, I felt nothing. The warmth that had taken hold of me when I'd run for the stranger still tucked in my arms had taken what little bit of feeling I had left when it disappeared.

But still I remained, comforting this girl, with whom I'd never even talked to when we'd worked together, why? Because this was the closest I'd been to feeling that nice since I'd left…

Slowly the girl brought her head off from my chest, her face was blotchy and had strands of her hair matted to it by the amounts of sweat that had collected in her distressed state.

For a while we sat there staring once more, before she began to wriggle uncomfortably, her eyes casting down; mine followed where she was looking before I finally noticed that her legs had been thrown across my lap during her crying-s***h-stranger-cuddling session, i quickly removed the arm that had been holding her, allowing her to bring her legs back up to her chest.

Her breathing had slowed drastically, allowing me to think back on the course of thoughts that had led me to leap at this girl as though we were familiar with each other.

Well, we did work together for a little while. But that didn't mean that we KNEW knew each other.

Suddenly she faced me fully, a suspicious look crossing her eyes as she seemed to push herself further into the booth.

My body tensed as I looked into the pits of blue that seemed to critique my whole being.

This is why I never got involved.

Without another word I stood, quickly making my way away from the girl whose face shone bright with confusion at my sudden departure.

My head hung low as I faced the counter, the young barista had run back and forth from the kitchen, and had definitely seen the random exchange from the sideways look she'd given me as she handed me my order.

Taking it quickly I darted from the building, pushing my legs to go as fast as possible without flat out sprinting to my car.

No need to make them think I'm any more crazy than they already do.

My keys were in my hands before my brain had the time to process the fact which resulted in me fumbling them before the clinking sound of metal against asphalt graced my ears.

God, I'm so stupid! My eyes began to water as I bent down to grab my keys, the task of straightening my body seemed to be impossible at this very moment though; the reason? I was starting to panic.

My knees had locked in place as my breathing began to come out in small pants, as my balled hands came up to meet either side of my temples.

I watched as the ground became blurry as tears pooled in my eyes, rendering my sight moot as I had to surrender to the suffocating feeling of grief that seemed to haunt me throughout the day.

Floating in and out of my peripheral vision but always there, never wavering but somehow still growing.

I guttural groan-like cry escaped me as I made a swan dive for my driver's side door, the key hit the sides of its destination a few times before it finally landed, turning and allowing me to duck into the safe beige interior.

The worn nylon greeted me instantly as my fingers began to claw at the collar of my blouse which had begun to feel like a rope that was being tightened around my throat, closing off my airways and trapping me in a spiral of desperation.

The world around me spun on its axis, spinning me around and around like the teacup rides at Disney.

I felt my lip catch between my teeth as I attempted to stomp the onslaught of groans that tried to escape me, seemingly all at once.

Why did I even try? My mind flashed back to the girl, the way her brow furrowed almost angrily as she sat there with her accusatory stare.

My chest gave a pang as I remembered the warmth that had wrapped around me as I tried to console that girl the same way I was once consoled. My heart ached as I thought back to why that feeling had sent me into such a tailspin.

That imposter feelings of peace that had only come from one person had suddenly sprung forward in my moment of emotional blindness and it led to this.

My head had a thousand jumbled thoughts bouncing around inside it, adding pressure to the migraine that had been working its way up the base of my skull before stopping just behind my left eye.

My hands grasped at the flesh around the eye, as though I were gonna pull it out myself; the pain was rising and with it began a series of ringing that seemed to correspond with the thoughts that were growing in magnitude.

My brain gave a painful throb as blood rushed to my ears, my body instinctively began rocking back and forth as I bent forward, my head sat on the steering wheel as my hands remained covering my eyes.

The outside world seemed to have brightened too suddenly, making my already sore eyes cringe away from the sudden onslaught rays that further attacked my pulsating brain.

Everything was too loud, I needed to leave. I wanted to leave.

Why did I do this? I saw the familiar blackspot as my breathing continued to grow more and more rapidly in pace, it felt as though I were running regardless of my stagnant nature.

I felt the bounce of my heart as it pounded heavily in my chest.

My racing heart leapt into my throat as the sound of rapid rapping beside me brought me out of my thoughts, my head whipped around to face the intruder only to come eye to eye with the girl from the booth.

She appeared unsure of herself before her eyes registered my unsettled appearance, it seems like it steeled her will as she proceeded to open the door.

I could only stare in shock as she leaned into the vehicle, wrapping her arms awkwardly around my frame as she began to apologize. Her voice was soft and raspy when she spoke and the faint smell of a sweet perfume clung to her skin under the scent of sweat.

She pulled back suddenly, giving me a once over before flashing me a smile. "It's ok! Right? That's what you said earlier, right?" She asked hopefully, her voice was layered thick with that sickly sweet tone used primarily on children who were in the midst of a meltdown.

My mind attempted to remember when I'd uttered those words but resigned to believing that it must have been sometime during our impromptu snuggle-fest.

Silently I nodded, my chest contracted slightly, allowing my breaths to come out slower and fuller; she took this as a good sign and gave me an encouraging smile, her arm dragged down my arm sloppily, as though she'd not been prepared for tears on my end.

She then turned, looking around the parking lot for a moment before she stood and closed the door. I could only stare at the spot she'd been in, flabbergasted by her sudden withdrawal. My shock only lasted a moment before the passenger's side door opened, allowing her to climb into my car, away from the dreary weather that had nipped at any revealed skin.

My eyes snapped up, tracing her features carefully, my breathing had evened with the occasional hiccup being the only sign of my past scene.

Though her smile remained in place, her bright eyes watched me cautiously as though prepared for an abrupt change in behavior.

We each sat in silence, the only sound being the wind as it began to pick up outside of the metal box we were tucked safely away in.

My eyes began to wander around us, an attempt to discourage my thoughts from trying to pick back up its negative pattern in the wake of silence that had coated the car.

The small yellow build sat behind us innocently, the chimney above puffing out smoke as the wood oven in back continued to produce delicious treats.

My eyes suddenly widened as I looked around for the sack containing my goodies only to quickly catch sight of it on the dashboard.

A chuckle sounded from beside me, causing my attention to seep over to the girl who had taken up observing me. My heart lurched once more as I felt the corner of my lips drag down; the heavy feeling in my chest returned as her gaze never wavered.

I should've just gone home. A deep regret began to make its way through me, heating my chest as it spread through my body.

The girl reached out then, grabbing my hand in her own as though trying to anchor me to reality.

"I'm sorry." She said genuinely, her face was marred with regret as she began running her thumb across the back of my hand.

For a moment I reveled in the small gesture, it had been a while since I'd allowed someone other than Dora and Zues to comfort me; it was nice to get solace from an unfamiliar source, one that I didn't have to feel guilty for constantly relying on.

Though as the comfort grew around me, so did my confusion. Why was she here? What did she want? Was it simply to apologize? To me?

Though appreciated, I didn't deserve her apology. I was the one that had intruded on her, I had thrown myself into her presence without her giving me her permission or even truly acknowledging that she'd wanted company, let alone to be comforted.

My head began shaking back and forth, just as I went to attempt to explain that I was the onetin the wrong and therefore owed her the apology she leant forward, her face was inches away from mine as she stared into my brown eyes intently.

I flinched back slightly, both because I was unused to anyone being this close to me and the instant shift of her emotions.

My breathing halted as the car once again went silent. We sat there, her intense gaze holding my utterly confused one as her hold on my hand tightened.

"You were there, at J&J's." She stated, rather than asking, my eyes widened at the sudden change of subject and even more so the sudden mention of my job.

My head bobbed automatically, my brain seemingly malfunctioning, thus rendering me unable to actually formulate even the slightest words.

"You work there with that-" her voice cut off as a scornful look crossed her face. I simply nodded, my confusion of the topic growing as she continued to shoot her questions at me.

"-that b***h!" She exclaimed loudly, her hands coming down to smack my dashboard hard, the sound that echoed around the space caused me to jump as my hand met the door handle; I felt a rush of anger enter me as I realized that I was just going to flee, leaving my vehicle to this stranger simply bc she'd hit my car in frustration.

Her face turned into a mask of shame the same time mine turned to that of wrath.

"What exactly are you getting at?" I finally said, my tongue certainly finding its course of words with the sudden rush of emotion.

She looked at me guiltily, mumbling out a small apology before turning back to me with a serious glint in her eye.

"What I'm getting at," she began, this time in a much calmer tone, "is that you've seen her abuse, we could start a case against her! Show people how bad she treats everyone and finally take her down!" She cried vehemently, her voice cracking with a sudden rush of power that had rushed into her.

At that moment the outside world seemed to go quiet, as did the rest of the world as I stared at the woman in front of me.

Her long brown hair looked wild, as though it had been whipping in the wind freely, which was probable seeing as I'd taken down her messy knot when I'd done my initial comfort attempt.

Her ordinary brown hair tie rested loosely around my wrist, a fact I'd just realized when I'd had my hands against my head, in my wasted attempt to squash the still-there headache before I'd been interrupted by the strange woman before me.

Her cheeks were still red, both from the wind burn and from the heat of her previous breakdown.

The steady movement of her chest was noticeable as she breathed deep and steady breaths in and out, she looked as though it were her that was now going to have an anxiety attack.

My stare remained on her as I assessed her words over again, my brain began to work overtime, as though trying to decode some ancient script that had been presented to me. My gaze met hers and I guess she must have been looking behind me or something, because for whatever reason, she seemed to get more excited with her plan.

My eyes lifted to her crown of brunette hair, wondering how many wonderful thoughts wove her mind; how much hope she still had remaining in her, regardless of her experience with one of the most influential women in Pennsylvania.

I almost wanted to amuze the thought, let her think that the two of us could do something productive about that monster.

I could see the hope bubbling beneath her gaze, like a small child being reassured that Santa was truly real when her perception of the figure had been questioned.

The light feeling had returned to me full force, filling me with a slight warmth; not as strong as it had previously been, but still warm nonetheless.

It began wrapping its way up my legs, surrounding me in its heat from the waist down, before slowly encapsulating the rest of my being, nipping at the flesh of my skin in a pleasant, if not, tickling manner.

It allowed me to see the brightness around us for just a moment as I beheld this sweet, innocent, young girl.

This feeling, though familiar, wasn't exactly as I remembered it to be. Of course the memory of a feeling is typically not the most reliable; I was still sure it was just as I'd thought.

This warmth; it had come from amusement. Something that I used to consider a second half of my personality, now crept over my body hesitantly, as if mining through a foreign land in search of hospitalities.

It was a nice feeling, one that threatened to succumb my psyche back into those thoughts and memories that I'd fought to forget.

Our eyes met once more, hers alight with pure elation, as I'm sure her thoughts were going through the measures needed to achieve such an unattainable goal.

The tickling feeling grew stronger working its way into the pits of my stomach; awakening the deep thunderous sound that escaped me as I threw my head back.

I couldn't hold it back any longer, I laughed. Hard.

And then the tears started back up again.