Memories of Zero

Jamie Anderson said, “Grief is just love with no place to go”. Therefore, we don’t grieve for what’s gone unless there’s love. So, I assembled these words from my heart. By then, this love has a place to go. If my words have reached you, my love has reached you too. According to the Bible in the New Testament (John 3:16), there is everlasting life as long as we accept Jesus Christ as our Savior. Some believe in life after death, eternal life in heaven and reincarnation or other beliefs which give them hope of seeing their loved ones again after life here on Earth. Death is terrifying to some because it is marked as the end of life. The idea of looking forward to reuniting with them in different worlds, somehow, makes us feel better. But do these perceptions really make us feel better or do they only make it harder to move on? Moving forward with our lives without them, means accepting they’re gone and that’s when we can let them go. The hardest part of losing someone so close to my heart is letting go of the memories. Those moments that once made me so happy, now make me cry. I keep on asking questions like, “Where is he now?” “Is he watching me from heaven?” “Will I ever see him again?” “Is he happy or sad?” When I look at the sky, I wonder if he’s looking at me too. My eyes are always blurring with tears. I comfort myself with the thought of him still living in our hometown, existing in parallel universes or maybe in a higher realm. Am I being hopeful? Or, am I being delusional? Sometimes, I consider seeing a psychiatrist, but I pull myself together and put my pain into art. This loved one so very dear to me always inspires me to show my potential. He always brings out the best in me. He’s the proudest every time I win singing competitions. He’s the one clapping every time I sing at karaoke. He was there, supporting me at Quiz Bees’. He’s motivating, he’s encouraging. He was my number one fan when I was a little. Now, he is “My Zero”.