Raised For The Alpha

Her

Bonnie

My under eyes are puffy and my eyeballs are red from all the tears that I’ve cried. Hazel was right. She always is. She told me not to get involved. We’ve only been out a few times and I’m crying over losing this friendship already.

I have to clean Oisin’s room today. I leave it a while to make sure that he’s definitely left. He doesn’t hang around here much. He’s always gone by nine. As I reach for the door handle I feel the tug on the other side. He’s coming out of his room. I’m about to leave when the door opens and the blonde from last night is standing there.

I should leave but I’m frozen on the spot. By the looks of it, the only thing she is wearing is his T-shirt. Her hair is in disarray, her lipstick smudged and the grin she wears on her face tells me she is very happy about it.

I might be naive, young and clueless about most things but I’ve seen enough amongst the servants here to know what that means. My hand rushes up to my mouth and I gasp before scurrying away. ‘Run along little rodent.’ She calls behind me.

I run up to my bedroom. Not the one Oisin provided for me, but my old room. The one I am worthy of.

The attic.

I don’t know how long I lie in bed whilst the tears fall. I don’t even know why I’m so sad. ‘Are you going to stay away from him now? I’m only trying to help you.’ Hazel says from above me. I ignore her. I don’t need her to say I told you so. She said it enough when I was little.

She would also tell me that only the rich can make mistakes. We don’t have the same privilege. Therefore, I couldn’t make mistakes. I’m guessing befriending Oisin and thinking he was my friend was my mistake. He wouldn’t even look at me last night.

Did he ignore me because he was embarrassed by me? Associating with me would be humiliating because the first thing she did when she saw me was scoff at me and look me up and down with disgust. She called me a rodent. She thinks I’m beneath her. I am.

I don’t understand these feelings and I’m past caring about keeping this home for them. What is he going to do if I don’t oblige? Lock me up or ask me to leave. Well, that’s great because I’ll take either. That way I don’t ever need to see her again.

Hazel forces me down the stairs to do a few of the jobs. Just staying in the kitchen out of the way. She said that nobody else could make one of the desserts quite like I could. It doesn’t make me feel any better. I didn’t expect the guests to still be here. Having dinner a second evening.

At least this time I don’t have to serve them. When I’ve finished cleaning up the kitchen after dinner I head back to my room and I see the girl heading into Oisin’s room again. My heart hammers in my chest and bile rises up in my throat.

I swallow it down, ignore what I saw and continue to my room in the attic. I’m exhausted from the lack of sleep the night before, all the crying and how hard I’ve worked all day today. I don’t even manage to get into my pyjamas before I’m flat-out asleep in my bed. Wearing a top I wore under my servant's outfit and a pair of knickers.

At some point during the night, I feel the mattress dip and then some hands wrap around my body. I jump up and scream but a hand covers my mouth as the body behind me snuggles into my back. ‘Shh. You’ll wake everyone up.’ He whispers.

My body relaxes into Oisin but my head is screaming at me to push him away. I don’t want him rubbing her scent all over me. I struggle to pull away but he doesn’t let up his hold. ‘Bonnie, stop.’ He demands and he’s never been like that with me before. He’s never used his power over me.

I immediately stop wriggling and lie still, Oisin snuggles into my back, his head on my shoulder with his arms wrapped around my body. I’m holding my breath so that I don’t get the scent I really don’t want to smell. ‘Bonnie?’

Oisin says my name with question and leans up to look over me. I gasped as I let out my breath and tried so hard to block out my senses, just as he tried to teach me at the Zoo. ‘Are you okay?’ He asks and it’s impossible to lie to him so I just shake my head.

Eventually, I begin to feel sleepy in the comfort of his arms and I manage to drift off. When I wake up in the morning, the space next to me is empty and I feel the mattress by the side of me. It’s cold. I smack the side of my head in frustration. I don’t know what’s real and what I have made up anymore.

Was he here? Did I make it up? Is there something wrong with me? I smack my head against the pillow and slowly drag myself out of bed, looking around at my attic room. I have a headache. Unsurprisingly.

I try to use my sense of smell to see if he’s been here but my nose is so bunged up from all of the crying, that I struggle to catch a scent. I know there’s a faint scent of him here but that could have been from when he was up here last.

I want to scream in frustration but I know I can’t. I can’t even scream into a pillow because everyone’s sensitive wolf ears would hear me. I hurry to get ready. No daily shower and no clean clothing. I’m back to the little servant girl again.

No matter what happens when I become Luna. I know that I’m always going to be this... Hazel told me. She warned me not to get attached. She told me not to get used to any luxuries because it hurts more when they’re gone. I didn’t listen.

When I arrive down at the kitchens, the others look at me with pity. There’s no more jealousy and hatred. Just pity. I’m unsure which is worse. ‘They’ve left.’ Hazel tells me and my body instantly feels more relaxed.

‘So has Oisin.’ I try so hard not to frown at her words. He’s left where? He doesn’t leave yet. Not until he is eighteen. ‘He’s left to go with them. I’m unsure when he will be back.’ My body sways as I grip the side.

‘She’s older than he is. As soon as he turns eighteen they will arrange a mating ceremony and choose each other.’ I nearly fall at her words. ‘I know you don’t want to hear this but I won’t lie to you, Bonnie.’

I think I may let out a sob as the next minute I’m being hurried out of the kitchen and up to my room. Hazel sniffs as she enters and that confirms for me that Oisin was in fact in here last night. She huffs at that and I don’t know if knowing he came to me is better or worse.

He spent his time with her and then crawled into my bed. Hoping for what exactly? Then he left with her. I’ll never be enough. ‘Sleep it off. You don’t look too good. Overcome whatever emotions and feelings you have and then come back down tomorrow without the tears.’ If I wasn’t so used to her then the words would hurt.

‘Magnus noticed that you were affected by her. I tried to tell him that it was because she wasn’t kind to you. He’s noticed though and now he’s noticed, it only means he will keep watch. Both of us are on the line here. I lied for you, Bonnie. Don’t make me regret it.’