Forbidden But Bound

Somethings Never Change

A ray of sunlight came in through the glass door bouncing across the furniture in the room and the sun began to set. There was a strong smell of the ocean hovering in the air, the tide had just crept out. No sea breeze, no crashing waves just the sound of the coconut tree leaves rubbing against each other. 

The two of them lay there under the soft, white cotton sheets. Julia faced him and stared at him while his eyes were closed. She noticed a scar on his right arm which had never been there before when they were younger. There was more than one scar across his body. His back looked like a road map of a city made by scratches and marks. She was sure he never had scares like these before. She then saw a tattoo. Just on the side of his on the skin above his ribs there was a medium size tattoo with black ink. A tribal symbol of what to her looked like a wolf. She starred at it for a while and traced it with her finger. She thought it was beautiful and questioned herself as to what it could have symbolized to him. But wondered what caused all the scars on his back, she did not dare to ask him. James got the chills and changed position to face her. She caressed his arm and slowly kissed it. He opened his eyes and looked at her. They lay there just starring at each other with slight smirks on their faces, their body against each other. James moved a hair that covered her eye, blocking his view. 

“I missed you, I missed this,” James said to her.

“Me too. I never stopped loving you James even after you ‘ran away from me,” she said cheekily.

“I am so sorry I did that to you, Julia. I wish I had given you an explanation, but some things cannot be explained.” James broke eye contact with Julia and looked at her perfect forehead.

She could tell that he was keeping something from her. The same secret that he kept from her years ago at the picnic. 

Julia remembered the day that she last saw James, it felt like it was just yesterday. They were in his garden laying on a picnic blanket chatting about their plans for college in the afternoon. James seemed different to Julia that day. He couldn’t look at her in the eyes. He didn’t stop holding her and kissing her, but he was always looking away. 

“Is everything ok James? You see to be a million miles away,” Julia asked him. 

“No everything is just perfect. I just really missed you and i am so happy you are here with me today,” he responded giving her a peck on the tip of her nose. He lied to her. James was leaving California the next morning. He had planned to tell her over a week ago but the words couldn’t come out of his mouth. His parents knew about Julia and the fact that she was not a wolf. They knew that he was deeply in love with her and they saw this as a threat. It was forbidden to be with a non-wolf in the Crystal Moon pack according the rules set by the alpha Caltan. He made this rule to preserve the pack and keep its purity. You had to be born a wolf with both parents who were wolves and you had no choice in who you could be with, you had to choose a mate that was pure wolf at a ritual ceremony held when you reach the age of purity. James’ parents decided to send him away to stop the love between Julia and James from becoming anything serious or from James making and mistakes that he would have regretted. There were also talks within the pack about the two of them together and this worried James’ parents very much. The last thing they wanted was to draw any unnecessary attention to themselves. 

That day in his garden, Julia was not aware that he was about to shatter her heart into an infinite amount of pieces. The moment that would scar her for life. He left the next morning without a word. 

She closed her eyes and moved closer to his face and they kissed. She knew deep down that they can’t be together. It was just fun and they had to close this chapter of their lives. A chapter that had remained open for years tormenting them. But now, Julia knew that there was no hope of a future with James. What James did to her could never be undone. Especially by one night stand in a hotel. 

“We need to get going its dark outside, my flight is in 2 hours,” Julia said looking at the time on her cellphone. She lay back down beside him. 

“This was amazing and I am sure you think so too. But we are both not in the right situations in our life right now to let this go anywhere,” she said to him. 

“Yeah I know,” he said taking a deep breath in. Things are not any different than they were all those years ago. He couldn’t be with her, she cannot be his mate. He exhaled in disappointment. 

Silence fell upon the room. Awkward silence. The silence of deep contemplation and thought. They both knew that maybe what had just happened was a mistake.

She got up and put her gown back on and went into the bathroom. James got dressed and collected all his clothing around the floor of the hotel room. When she came out of the bathroom, still in her gown, he went to give her one last kiss before he walked out the door. 

He pulled her closer. He looked down at her beautiful eyes. Julia stared deeply into his. James held her chin softly caressing it.

“I love you Julia, always have and always will but...” James began before Julia interrupted him. 

“I know James,” she closed her eyes and whispered as he kissed her forehead. 

“I don’t regret this though. I feel that it needed to happen. I am so so sorry about how I left you the last time. If I could go back and turn the hands of time and change the way I did things I would I promise.” He had a slight begging tone in his voice. He was sorry. He was so young back then if only he had done the right things and end things better.

“I know James and I don’t regret it either. There are still have so many secrets between us, I can sense it. Noting has changed, things are the same as they had been all those years ago,” Julia said to him thinking back to the tattoo that she saw earlier.

He bent down and took in her scent one last time. James left. 

For a moment she just sat on the bed in shock.

“What just happened,” she asked herself. 

That's when it felt like she just woke up from a dream a very good dream but at the same time a very confusing dream, a very f****d up dream. She realized that she had just cheated on Thomas and she didn’t regret it one bit. She felt complete. Was she going to see him ever again? Will he call her ever again? Those were unanswered questions. She was still very much in love with Thomas. After everything she still loved him. All these questions rush through her head all at once.

 She knew James loved her and they had so many great memories from their past. Thomas was the one guy that truly loved her. He was the one who gave her all the love and attention, he was the one who was there to hold her when she was struggling with life. Thomas was the one who took care of her when she was sick who would make her soup and help her put her clothes on when she couldn’t move. She had more to lose than James did. She had hoped to have a future with Thomas. Her relationship with Thomas was real, Thomas chose Julia despite the issues they are going through. To Julia, she was never James’ first choice. And this one-night-stand would have ruined her chances of that perfect life she hoped to have with Thomas. James was never there. He was only there that moment and that’s it. She could never want to destroy what she has with Thomas for James, not in a million years. But she still didn’t regret having s*x with James.  

Right there and then Julia decided that she will not mention this to James. It will cause him so much hurt and there will be no coming back from that. She kept telling herself that it was simply a one-night thing. She will keep it to herself.

James closed her door and stood behind the door for a few seconds. He was lost for words too. He enjoyed his time with Julia but he knew too that things have not changed. He realized he had to put his feelings for Julia deep, deep down into his heart and forget about it again. His facial expression changed from content to sadness. He walked away towards his room on the other side of the hotel. 

On the drive to the airport, Julia was deep in thought. The island was pitch dark all you could see was the edge of the cliff and when you looked further the white line of waves crashing against the distant reef. She thought about what her next plan of action was when she landed in New York. 

“I will call Thomas as soon as I land,” Julia thought to herself. 

 Julia arrived at the airport “Good evening ma’am, may I please have any form of identification?” Asked the ground hostess who was sitting behind the counter at the airport check-in counter. Julia handed the lady her driver's license.