Her Eclipse

I look at my room one last time before I close the door and go to meet my Mom in the living room. Today is the day when I leave Canada to stay with my grandparents in Forte Woods. I was born there and spent the first three years of my life there before my mother moved us to Canada for a humanitarian job she got. Now I have to move back because she has another job in Africa to be completed in two years. I see my two suitcases by the door as my mom ushers me to the dining table. I don't know what made her feel I could eat with all these nerves “Mom, you know I can't” I say to her. “Just a bite baby, it will put me at ease” she pleads, looking at me with worry. I don't like to see her worry, so I give in “fine” and she rewards me with a smile. For the past fourteen years it has been just my mom and I. She is the strongest woman I know, and she worries too much. My mother had me out of wedlock, she chose me, and I'll forever be grateful. She says my father had another family, and she only got to find out after she took in for me. Other people advised her to get an abortion, but she refused, and my grandparents were supportive. After having me she went back to school and moved here after getting a job. This is the first time we will be apart, and I know this is hard for her too, but seeing that she is going for the job regardless, it must be important. “Have you spoken to Kenneth” she asks, bringing me out of my thoughts. “No, his line won't connect. I will write to him when I get there. '' I replied. Kenneth is my closest friend. I used to have a crush on him. I don't know if I still do, but we're better off as friends, he is a gentleman and treats me with so much kindness. He was my first kiss too. Don't ask me. I initiated it and now that I think about it, it is quite embarrassing. He stopped when it got too heated. Kenny is too appropriate for his own good. I overheard his conversation with his cousin about waiting for me to come of age. It's a good thing I will be turning eighteen in three months' time. Kenny is representing the school in an international football competition held in France, so that explains why his line is not connected. I have not told him about moving because I didn't even know about it until three days back. I believe he will be able to afford a flight to visit me, his family is quite a big deal. “Let's go” I say after taking three bites of the lasagna my mom spent a long time making. I feel guilty for not finishing it, but come on, I tried. We put my suitcases in the booth and I give my home one last long look, and we head to the airport. At the airport, my mom goes over every instruction she has given for an unhealthy amount of time. I know she's panicking, so I try to reassure her “Mom, I'll be fine. And I'm going to be in safe hands. Come on, it's grandma and Grandpa” “It's the first time you'll be traveling alone” she says worriedly I try to ease her up. “Your daughter is a smart girl. Have some faith in her.” “I know baby, I know. “ She says ,smiling. “come here .“ she opens her arms, inviting me for a hug. “If you need anything, call me, if anything at all happens, call me and mommy will be there in a minute .“ she adds. “I will mom, just relax. I will be fine “ I assure her. Just then, an announcement of my flight comes on the speakers and I know my time here is up. I can see a flash of panic on my mother's face and I couldn't take it anymore, so I try to make it fast and leave “Remember what I told you?” She asks again. “Yes mom, I will call you if anything happens” I say, and she smiles, and I know deep within me, I would not be telling her anything because I'd not want to have her worrying across the continent. “Anything at all” she says, and I nod “even if you get a new crush and date?” Her smile is now genuine. “There will be no crush, mom, and you should try to date too. Ric is a good man”. This is what I have been telling her since Ric came into our lives. My mom has dedicated her whole life to raising me and didn't spare time to go on dates. Ric came into our lives 5 years ago and has been truly intentional, but they have not made things official, and I want that for her. Ric is not here today because he went before her to Africa to prepare for the team's accommodation. Yes, they're going to be there together, and I hope this is a turning moment for their relationship. “I know right” and that's all she says about that topic. “ always know I love you, and I wouldn't be going on this job if …” I cut her off, “I know mom, and I'm a big girl now. You should live your life too. I'm going to live with a full family. I think it's going to be a fun time. Now stop worrying and let me go before I miss my flight. “ “I love you. “ she says,giving me the final hug. “eat something on the flight .“ she adds. “I will. Bye” I say, disentangling from her. I take my suitcases from her and push it to the pass, I look back and see her wave frantically with tearful doe like eyes. I blow her a kiss and take the big step in. On the flight, I get to sit beside the window. At least something good on this flight I can look out of the space and draw comfort from there. I take out my phone and dail Kenny’s number one last time and there's no answer as expected so I put the phone on flight mode and put it back into my cross bag. I idly look at my nails and remind myself I need a manicure, my lack of female friends has made things like manicure a chore for me but my mom makes sure i still get it. It's more fun when Kenny sits through the whole process though he'd rather play PS than sit here. Both of us actually. I hope to make at least one female friend to see how it feels. My uncle Joe and his wife Sophia live with my grandparents in Forte Woods. I hope I have a good time. I hope it worth it That is my last thought before the pilot's announcement comes up and our flight takes off. The last time I was in Forte Woods I was three, everything here looks new to me apart from my grandparents faces. They insisted on coming to pick me up from the airport themselves, for all I know my uncle, Joe could have easily done that but I still appreciate their efforts. I don't do well with being fused over but something about the way my grandparents fused over me warmed my heart. I feel loved, not that I have ever doubted being loved but you know sometimes I get thoughts. Thoughts like why didn't my dad try to be in my life, I know his legitimate children are his priority, but what about me? Am I that insignificant and unlovable? Anyway, away with the sad thoughts, I'm seated in the back seat of my grandpa’s old truck that is surprisingly in good shape. My grandma is in the passenger seat, they look so in love at this age and it is impressive. Why couldn't my mother have this? “Wind down the windows for her dear” my grandma says to Grandpa after noticing my face is pressed on the window, grandpa winds the windows down and the air comes in carrying the smell of fresh grass. This is so refreshing, I smile at my grandma in appreciation and put my hand outside to enjoy the ride. The road doesn't seem to be too busy and the environment is so serene, so calm. There's something so cozy about been here and I can't point at it “Did anyone trouble you on the flight?” My grandpa asks, and I chuckle while Grandma scoffs, is that really the best he could do to start a conversation? “No grandpa, my flight was perfect. “ I say smiling “Oh dear, I know you're tired. I have prepared your best meal, Grace told me” grandma says. “Thank you, I will call to inform her of my arrival when we get home “ I reply My grandpa feels the need to chip into the conversation “ we got Doris to help us redecorate Grace's old room” “You can always redecorate it if you don't like it” my grandma asks, mistaking the confusion on my face for displeasure. “No it's ok, but who is Doris?” I ask because honestly I'm hearing of that name for the first time. My grandma provides an answer “oh you must have forgotten, I has been such a long time” “Christy, she was three. It's one normal she don't remember” grandpa inputs “That is why I always asked Grace to send her over for the holidays but she doesn't listen to me, nobody does” grandma is now emotional, well that was quick. Grandpa tries to console her “ but she's here now” “Yes, my little cupcake is back home. I can't wait to show the women how beautifully my baby has grown” she sounds so proud and it warms my heart but I have to ask the most important question at the moment. “So who is Doris “ I ask, sounding and looking curious because I am curious. “Oh! We drifted. We tend to do that alot, it comes with age “ grandma chuckles still not offering an answer. Grandpa catches the light mood and adds “now that our little peanut is here, we will worry less about the house being too quiet when the other kids go don't come over “ I'm guessing he means uncle Joe's children when he says the other kids see. “And Doris is?” I ask, for the last time before I lose my mind. “Yes! Your childhood friend. Your mothers had you the same time and you were literally twins” grandma provides. “Oh” I say quietly. I don't even know how to respond to that, so I had a friend that close and didn't even come home to spend some time. “She'll be so sad if she finds out you don't remember her” my grandma adds. “Does she remember meor does she just have to find out like I just did about her?” I ask, because if we were three the last time we met then it's only given if she doesn't remember me completely. Grandpa answers “she does actually remember everything about you” “Well, she must be really smart” I say “ Don't feel bad cupcake, it is in her nature” my grandma tries to console me I'm even more confused “is it in her nature to remember me or in general things that happened before she turned four?” That must be a badass nature “ She's known to have a very retentive memory.. her body is different from yours “ grandma says not helping at all and I catch a look grandpa gives her “Sounds interesting, but why didn't you give her my number? We could have worked with long distance friendship “ I mean that is a sensible thing to do especially in this age and time. We would have been long distance friends or perhaps besties. I've never had a bestie before. They say I do, I just don't remember. Grandpa is the one to answer this time “ peanut it isn't that easy, Doris was more attached to you than you could ever understand and when you left she experienced withdrawal symptoms. It was so serious, and could have messed with her mental health so it was only sensible to keep you totally away “ “Wow” it's the only thing I can say because I am focusing more to stop myself from asking the most pressing question Is Doris gay? But if she's gay is she expecting me to reciprocate her romantic feelings now that I am back? Jesus Christ! But I liked it when I kissed Kenneth, that means I'm not gay Is Doris going to have an unrequited love story with me? “We're home” my grandpa says bringing me out of my thoughts Oh s**t!