Chapter 11
1031 Words
The room felt suffocating. The walls, once a source of comfort, now seemed to close in on Sofia with every passing second. She stood by the window, looking out into the city with a blank expression, her arms crossed tightly against her chest as though she could physically hold herself together.
It had been days since she last saw Jayden, since she last saw him, and it felt like a lifetime. The memory of his gaze, the way his lips had brushed against hers, how he had touched her in ways no one ever had—it all haunted her, replaying in her mind like a never-ending loop.
But no. She wasn’t going to let herself fall into that trap. She wasn’t going to let her emotions get the best of her. She had to stay in control. She was Sofia, after all—the girl who had learned to shut her heart down, the girl who had learned to never let anyone see the cracks in her armor.
She walked over to her desk, sitting down and pushing the disarray of books and papers aside as if to create some space for herself, but it didn’t help. Nothing could help. Her thoughts kept drifting back to Jayden, to the way he had made her feel. It was maddening.
What was happening to me?
She stood up again, pacing around the room in frustration. She could feel the weight of his presence in her mind, heavy and unshakable. The sound of his voice, the way he had looked at her—the way he made her feel like she was the only person in the room. She hadn’t asked for it. She didn’t want it. But somehow, it had happened. And now... now she couldn’t stop thinking about him.
Her phone buzzed on the bed, and Sofia froze. It was a text notification. Maybe it was him. Maybe it was Jayden, finally reaching out to her. Maybe he was thinking about her too.
Her breath caught in her throat, but when she grabbed the phone, her heart sank. It wasn’t Jayden. It was Amelia, sending some trivial message about meeting up for coffee. A part of her wanted to text Amelia back, wanted to distract herself, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Her mind was a mess, and there was no way to hide it, not from herself.
Why hasn’t he texted me back?
She had seen his messages, but she had ignored them. She knew she shouldn’t have, but what else was she supposed to do? How could she face him after what had happened in the park? How could she face herself after the way she had run away from him, after the way she had shut him out, as if she didn’t care?
But I do care, she thought bitterly, pressing her fingers to her temples. I care more than I should. Why do I care?
The worst part was that she wasn’t even sure why she had run away that day. She hadn’t planned it. One minute, everything had felt intense, and the next, she couldn’t breathe. She had needed air, needed distance. She had needed to escape from whatever had been building between them, because, deep down, she had known that it wasn’t something simple. It was something that could destroy her, something she couldn’t afford.
Sofia sat back down on the bed, staring at her phone in her hand. The silence between her and Jayden was suffocating. She wanted to text him, wanted to apologize for running away, for being so... distant. But then, what would she say? How could she explain something she didn’t even understand herself?
Maybe he doesn’t care, she thought, her heart aching at the possibility. Maybe he’s already forgotten about me. Maybe he’s with someone else by now. The thought was enough to make her stomach churn.
But no. She couldn’t let herself believe that. She wouldn’t.
Sofia stood up again, her mind racing with conflicting emotions. She walked over to the window once more, her reflection staring back at her. The girl in the glass was unfamiliar—fragile, unsure, vulnerable. Was this really me?
Was I always this weak?
She ran a hand through her hair, frustration mounting with every passing second. I don’t have time for this, she thought. I’ve worked too hard to get here. To build this life. To be... me. But somehow, Jayden had gotten under her skin in a way she never expected, and it was driving her crazy.
You don’t have time to be thinking about him. You have bigger things to worry about, she told herself, but the words felt hollow. Every fiber of her being wanted to reach out to him, to apologize, to... fix whatever it was that had happened.
She looked down at the phone again, her thumb hovering over the screen. What if she sent a message? What if she let herself be vulnerable for once? But then, what would that mean for her?
She exhaled sharply, feeling the tension build up in her chest. She couldn’t do it. She wouldn’t do it.
Sofia, she scolded herself quietly, stop being foolish.
But just as she turned away from the phone, her eyes landed on the picture of her and Amelia from a few months ago. They were at the beach, smiling, carefree. The stark contrast between the carefree girl in the picture and the woman she had become was striking. It reminded her of how she used to be before all the chaos, before the pressure to be perfect, before Jayden.
Her phone buzzed again, and she immediately looked down. It wasn’t Jayden, but it didn’t matter.
Sofia, she thought. Get it together.
She stood up straight and walked out of the room. Her life didn’t stop for anyone. Not for Jayden, not for anything.
- Writer
