Being Second
1084 Words
I stiffened, my eyes moving away from Delilah to slowly settle on King Raegan. His eyes were just as cold as ever, and he watched Delilah with the precision of a predator. Like he had played her entire life, so she would come right into his trap.
It brought back bad memories. Memories of me looking at Kyle while he looked at her. Memories of being the second woman yet again.
I tugged at King Raegan's collar, and he turned to me.
"Yes?"
I bit down on my lips hard. "Can we talk in private?"
His brows slightly furrowed, but he gave me a single nod. His gaze darted to the man who had brought the documents, and a silent agreement fell between them.
I stood up, my eyes momentarily holding Delilah's.
I could see it in her eyes. I came second to our father. I came second to Kyle. And now... now, I could come second to Raegan, too, if she played her cards right.
Before she could say anything to me, I turned and walked away, my fingers clenched into tight fists.
I walked into the bedroom assigned to me. It was empty, clean, and smelled like the perfume I had used earlier.
My eyes fell on the mirror, and suddenly, none of it made sense anymore. I looked like I was imposing. Like I was wearing a costume, trying to live a lie yet again.
"Isn't that what you wanted?"
I turned, and King Raegan was sitting on the edge of the bed, the door closed behind us. I swallowed hard, turning fully to face him.
"Was it? Or... was I just a pawn that came at the right time?"
His right brow raised, but he said nothing. "Are you using me, Your Majesty?"
"Use you?" He asked, his voice still low. "Why would you assume that I would want to use you? You sought my help and I gave it to you."
"Not in this way!" My voice broke, and I found myself going to the floor.
My heart... my mind... it was crowded with emotions I couldn't name, but I knew one. Fear. Fear of being second. Fear of being the backup. Fear of watching Delilah take precedence over me after sacrificing my entire life to get here.
"Delilah... you want to punish her for something. She knows you are doing this to punish her, and in that way, she still takes precedence over me! In that way, she still..."
"Elvira."
I looked up. King Raegan was leaning forward, his hands resting on his thigh, his eyes holding mine.
"You are getting in your head. You are letting the love you had for Kyle and the inferiority you felt all your life govern the things you do now."
Tears stung the back of my eyes. He wouldn't understand. A man who has had everything, money, power, influence, beauty... he would never understand what it feels like to come second to anyone. Much less, someone you loved.
"You haven't processed anything yet," he said, causing me to look up to him again.
I hated that, maybe through my tears, maybe through my darkness, I saw a flicker of tenderness pass his eyes.
"Maybe," I managed to say, my lips quivering. "But I have been an omega in a house and a pack where being omega was akin to dirt. I have come second all my life. You would never understand what it means to feel the control I so impulsively begged for slip away from me yet again."
Saying it made it feel even more real, and the tears filled my eyes yet again.
Silence fell between us for a minute.
"What would you prefer? Do you want Kyle to have the seat? Do you want to be the first to me? Is that your definition of revenge?"
I met his eyes. Maybe. Maybe I wanted to see them crash and burn, but after seeing someone treat me right.
But you can't possibly beg your way into love now, can you? You can't possibly go on your knees to have someone prioritise you, right?
King Raegan gave a small sigh, then slowly leaned down to me. My eyes widened as his knees touched the floor in front of me, his eyes meeting mine.
"Your Majesty," I whispered, forgetting for a while what I was feeling.
All I could see was a king sitting on the floor with me, where Kyle had me dragged away as he looked down on me.
"You don't know what you want. You don't know what you feel. Go home with me. Think, then talk to me. I will rescind the seat for now, and then we will do whatever you want after."
I nodded slowly, my chest heaving hard, tears slowly running down my cheeks.
Slowly, his hand came up, but he stopped mid air and started to move back.
Before I knew what was happening, I grabbed his hand, stopping him for putting it away.
His eyes widened a little, and it was possibly the most emotion I had ever seen in his eyes.
"Please," I whispered, holding his hand like it was a lifeline.
I am vulnerable, weak, and I hated it.
He said nothing as he pulled closer, then laced his other hand into my hair and pulled me into his chest.
His scent filled me up, his essence circling around me. But above all, it was his warmth. He still let me hold his hand, amd with every second, it felt like it was warming me up, like a furnace to my insecurities, like a fire to my rejections.
I held on tighter, as his fingers gently massaged my scalp lightly.
"You were wrong," he said suddenly, his voice low.
I leaned up, just enough to look at him, but not enough to leave his warmth.
"What do you mean?"
He looked down, and I felt my breath catch in my throat. His eyes held mine, and it felt like I could drown in those pools.
His fingers stopped moving in my hair, and maybe it was my imagination, but it felt like he pulled me a little closer.
His lips were a mere inch away, and his warmth... his scent...
"I have been second too," he said, his voice a mere caress in this bubble of silk and enchantment.
His eyes fell slowly to my lips, before looking up to my eyes once again. "More times than I can count."
- Writer
