Heads And Tails

Accident

Zack

I was far down the hallway at this point not even daring looking back at him. I ran down the hallway as fast as I could to get to my next class. God I’m so late, but the sooner I get there the more lenient they will be on me.

Walking into my class my teacher gave a cold glare but told me to sit down. I apologized and did so. I eventually got out my booklet but all the letters were getting jumbled up because I couldn’t focus. I was thinking about what just happened with Connor.

I guess walking away from him was the best I could do. It’s not like I could say anything else or do anything that would make him think differently of me and that is the feeling that sucked most. Not knowing what to do. I thought about kissing him but that didn’t feel like the right moment to do so and only weirdo kisses someone who is obviously not fond of them.

I’m an i***t, why was my only thought to bump into him and hope that he thought I was just being nice and it was an accident? Then what? He talks to me and gets to know me and falls in love. Yeah one hundred percent that was stupid. I should have just asked to help like a normal person and maybe my success rate would have gone up. But instead I got angry when he got angry. I had no right. He's been through a lot in this hell hole that is known as school. I couldn’t even count how many times I’ve seen him get talked down to or just completely disrespected by anyone who thinks they are higher up on the food chain here. So it’s understandable that he has trust issues of anyone walking around with a varsity jacket. I guess that I was just all bent out of shape because I’ve never done that to him. I may call him a nerd or cute and maybe push him up against a locker, gently of course just to feel him up or be close to him and the rest is just my way of flirting. I know if he pushed me against a locker there would be no complaints from me.

Stop having dirty thoughts Zack

Anyways I just want him to look at me like a normal person, like a regular guy, not the quarterback, or this big jock who’s dumber than bricks. I just want to be Zack and it’s more apparent that I have to put a lot of effort into changing three years worth of conceptions in one cute nerd.

Then this question presents itself. How? It’s not like I have redeeming qualities. I’m average. Mean to people who are mean to me and nice to everyone else. I don’t even know if he is also gay. What if he likes girls? That would be okay but a major let down that I would just lose my mind. What if there’s no changing how he sees me. I wish I could take this one step at a time but I’m an impatient person who has to do everything at once. Just like groceries from the car to the kitchen. One trip. I do like him and would do anything to get his attention or be one of the people he likes to talk to at least

“Mr. Miller’s are you with us.” I look up and glare at my teacher and simply nod. Let’s just focus for now Zack

—-

It’s after practice and I finally get the chance to go to the library for my tutoring which will be happening Monday and Wednesday for three hours each day for the next month so I can pass my make-up exam and the next chapter test. My dad and coach pulled some strings to get me the best student tutor in our school and book him out for those days and paid for the program just so My practice and weight lifting doesn’t get cut short by a real tutor. The school is only taking this great initiative with me because my dad is a hefty donor and I win championships. The reaction from my mom and dad when they found out that I wasn’t understanding a subject in school was nothing short but terrifying.

I look at the girl who is sitting at the desk behind a computer screen. She looks frustrated and is banging the computer mouse on the table. Aww poor mouse what you’d do to her?

I cough a bit to get her attention and she sees me. She peers up at me and cowers underneath my gaze. In her defense I am kind of glaring at her. I just got out of practice and I have a resting b***h face when I’m tired. I try to smile but it doesn’t help. My size to her is yin and yang. She knows that I could blow in her direction and she goes flying not that I’d ever do that. She gives me a Kurt smile and a blush. Hmm. Not the usual reaction. Not saying I’m hot s**t or anything but girls normally think I’m cute.

“What can I help you with?” She says looking at me through her glasses that are pretty cute and cool.

“I’m here for a tutoring session. Which room I am in.” I ask politely.

“My computers are down right now.” She says with a sigh as if the thought of having to file a support ticket is so tasking

“That explains the mouse bagging.” She lets out a laugh that is a little too loud for a library. People look at her and begin to tell her to be quiet. One kid with a baseball cap even tells her to shut the f**k up this catches my attention and I turn to look at the guy. I look back at the little freshman and she looks like she’s about to die from embarrassment.

“Mind if I yell in here for a second?” She seems a little confused so I just do it anyway “Aye! baseball cap would you like me to make you apologize or are you going to just do it!” He takes a glance at me and his eyes get wide. One thing that I’m thankful my dad made me do was work out. My size intimidates others well and a scrawny wanna be tough guy knows he wouldn’t stand a chance.

“S-sorry Zack I d-didn’t mean to yell at your sister l-like that.” He says and I glare harder. Cufusion takes over his face and then I nod to the girl, his eyes get wide. “Sorry Zack’s sister.” She nods but is blushing hard now. I get a good look at her. She has tan skin and blue eyes that match mine she even had brown hair but it has highlights. She could be my sister but our faces are completely different. We just have the same key features.

“What’s your name sister?” I whisper with a smile

“Amanda, and thanks by the way.” she whispers back with a smile.

“No problem Amanda or should I say lil sis, I’m Zach but just call me big bro if you want.” I got her to grin as she looked up at me

“All the rooms are full except for 1C. I'm going to assume that’s your room knock before you go in there though he's very picky about that.” I nod heading towards the stairs. I twist the handle but then remember what Amanda said and knock. Don’t want to get on the wrong foot with the person I’m going to be seeing six hours a week with.

“Come in.” I Lock up at the familiarity of his voice. There is absolutely no way this is happening. Hopefully lil sis was wrong because there is no way that Connor being on the other side of this door is going to be healthy for me. I’m already obsessed with him. And if I meet him after our little mishap today I will lose my mind.

“Just twist the handle and push the door open.” Now he’s talking to me like I’m stupid. I let go of the handle and have a silent melt down. Get it together Zack this might be your chance to finally get him to like you. No that’s stupid… or is it? come on Zack open that door. I grab the handle again and open the door but I feel it hit something

I look over to what I could have hit and see Connor sliding on the floor holding his face. You have too be f*****g kidding me. I look up for a moment swearing god's name and I sadly go over to Connor “oh my god Connor are you alright.” kneeling down next him looking at his head to make sure he’s not bleeding. I grab his face to get a better look just to inspect his wounds. He looks like he will be alright maybe a headache if anything.

“Your eyes are pretty.” I look at him a little shocked and feel the blush creep to my cheeks . He's complimenting me after I hit him with a door. I look away quickly and so does he. Are we having a moment? No, no, no Zack he probably only said that because he was confused. I get up from the ground and he still sits there looking a little uncomfortable.

“Are you okay?” I ask again, sticking my hand out towards him. He looks up and doesn’t grab it getting up on his own. My hand awkwardly hangs in the air for a little until I put it back by my side.

“I’m fine, Do you like to torment me that much, wait till I get to the door just to slam it into my face.” I turn to him in disbelief, well there goes the plan to get him to like me.

“I know I'm just another jock to you but contrary to your beliefs a varsity jacket doesn’t come with a built in personality.” I say a little more aggressive than I should have but him lumping me in with all of them gets on my nerves even if I didn’t like him I’d still be saying this because I’m not the asshole everyone thinks I am.

“Why are you acting like a victim, you're not the one that just got hit with a door and you broke my glasses.” I glare at him who the hell is playing victim.

“I'm not and I apologized, hell I wouldn't even care if you yelled at me for that but don’t act like it was a grand scheme that I planned when I heard your voice from the other side.” He looked taken back but kept his defensive stance, he even looked cute when he was angry. What a prick, I’m finding it hard to stay mad.

“You're annoying me and I have a headache now because of a certain tall athlete so I’ll reschedule this tutoring I’m going home.” He grabbed his things not giving me a second glance. When he went to walk out the door I stopped him by lightly wrapping my hand around his wrist that was thin. Is he even eating at home?

“That’s fair but also if you're going to be mean I can find someone else to tutor me.” He looked at me for a moment. He didn't look pissed at first but that changed in two second. What a feisty little thing. He brushed of my grip and before he was completely out of ear shot he muttered out a few words

“Sorry for today.” It was so quiet I almost didn’t hear it. Is this nasty side of me really getting me more obsessed with him, I need to go to Tavan’s. This is bad. Really really bad