Vulnerable

Episode 20

The look in Derrick's face sent chills down my spine

He had a mixed expression of disappointment and hurt ?

He nodded his head, twisted his lips to the left and then bit his lips.

He looked around, noticing the crowd.

He stared at me with a chilly look. A look that told me, my words really got to him.

He started walking closer towards me and for a moment, I thought he was going to hug or kiss me.

But then, he walked right past me and at that moment, I felt this surge of wind almost knocking me out.

My heart broke.

I blinked severally trying to grasp what just happened.

I think I really over did this.

Tomiwa gripped my wrist as she led me out of the school premises while the crowd dispatched and murmuring filled the air.

I heard Tomiwa's phone ring, She answered the phone call. I had no idea who she was on the line with, I didn't care to know either.

All she said, was 'Okay' as the call ended.

"We can't go to your place" Tomiwa spoke

"Why?" I asked.

"Your Mum and Andy no longer live there. Your father stays alone now" Tomiwa answered

My eyes went wide

"When did this happen and why didn't no one tell me?" I asked

"You should ask Derrick"she stated

"You saw what happened. He wants nothing to do with me anymore. Gosh! Let's forget about Derrick right now. Do you have any idea where they are staying right now?" I inquired

"I really don't know but I remember Andy saying something like, Victoria Island"Tomiwa said and my eyes went wide again

What?

"How can they move to Victoria Island? With what money?" I questioned.

"I don't know. That's why you have to ask Derrick and except you want to stay alone with your father, the hotel suite is our only option at this moment" Tomiwa stated.

Hotel Suite it is.

Tomiwa spent the night with me at the hotel suite.

I couldn't sleep.

My mind kept drifting towards my mum and Andy.

Did they really move to V.I ? Or Tomiwa heard wrong?

We could hardly afford a proper education talk more of living at a high cost location.

Why haven't they even tried to contact me?

My mind kept spiraling in thoughts as I drifted into dream land.

The next day,

I realized, Derrick didn't come by last night and my heart tugged at the thought.

Does he hate me?

Did I take things too far?

I did say some pretty hurtful things, didn't I ?

I lied too

Life with him is way less painful than it was living with my father.

I miss him already

I miss his smug looks

I miss the way his lips curved into a cute smile and how his eyes kind of sparked.

I miss the feeling of having him around.

It's just one night without hi. and I feel so alone despite Tomiwa's presence.

Sorry, Tomiwa.

I messed up didn't I ?

Tomiwa and I got to school and to my disappointment, Derrick wasn't in school.

The whole of the school day went in a breeze and as usual.

Teacher teaching a noisy class, me struggling to take notes and learn as much as I could.

We arrived the hotel suite, Derrick still Wasn't there and my heart sunk

I didn't want him gone, I only said those words out of anger and full jealousy.

And that's how the rest of the week went by with no words from Derrick and I was slowly losing it.

He didn't come to school or the hotel suite. No call or text from him.

The entire week without Derrick felt so blurry and dark. I was battling with thoughts inside me and doing my best not to act it out.

I didn't want Tomiwa worrying about me and I didn't want her seeing me, Vulnerable.

I acted all cool and normal while I was slowly drowning inside of me.

My heart felt stomped on and I felt so much pain that I excused myself severally to go cry quietly in the bathroom.

I would put on the shower and the bathroom tap to drown in any sound that escaped me.

I just felt like I messed things up, I overreacted and now he wants nothing to do with me

When thoughts of him comes through my mind, I feel only pain and sometimes I had to pound my sternum section in a bid to ease the pain I felt.

Tomiwa asked if I was having a running stomach and even went as far as buying me drugs to stop it.

I let her believe it was a running stomach as it seemed to be the only logical explanation as to why I kept using the bathroom and why I seemed to be looking frail and pale.

On Sunday I did the next logical thing.

I called him.

he answered on my first ring, he picked up almost instantly and I wasn't expecting that.

My heart beat accelerated a bit too fast when I heard his voice.

"Hey"

I didn't know what to say to him

I was silent for a few seconds before I muttered.

"I'm sorry"

"Sorry, I didn't hear you" he said.

"I'm sorry... " I said a little louder.

There was no response from his side and my heart sunk a little.

"I miss you, please talk to me. I'm really sorry for talking to you that way in school. I spoke out of anger and I didn't mean those words..." I sobbed

He was quiet

"Please Derri" I added and I heard him groan

"It's fine" he said

"So, you forgive me?" I asked, hoping desperately.

"I already forgave you Audrey, I was only doing as you asked. You wanted me to leave you alone and that's all I have been doing" he said.

I don't know if I should be sad or happy about his statement

"So, you mean. You were okay with not talking and seeing me for almost a week now?" I asked feeling a bit hurt that I have been suffering from his absence and he was no bit affected.

"I didn't say that" he said

I didn't know what else to say, so I simply ended the call and slumped into the bed as I let the tears flow.

I have been holding it in for too long and now that Tomiwa left for her usual Sunday Outings, I had the suite to myself and I could cry with no one seeing me.

I cried out loud as the feeling of total heartbreak consumed me.

I'm so stupid

What planted the dumb idea in my head that the almighty Malaysian Burger, Derrick Osunde could actually have a thing for me, The blood sucked anti social nerd

I felt so disoriented.

I heard my cellphone ring but I didn't have the strength to pick the damn call.

It can be either Tomiwa or Derrick calling and I have no strength to talk to any of them right now.

I just want to lay on this bed, crying over how stupid I was to have fallen for Derrick. I barely know him.

I haven't heard from my brother or mom.

And I seriously have no other place to run off to except to stay with my father.

If Derrick was a serial killer, he would have successfully killed me with no trace.

I just don't understand anything going on in my life anymore.

I haven't heard from my family

I haven't completed my WAEC registration fees

I have no means to get money

If Derrick was removed from the equation, I would have no roof under my head, no food for my belly, no means to get to school, no life.

Not like I had an actual life before but seriously, what the hell is wrong with me ?

It's been almost 2 weeks and I haven't heard from Andy or my mother and I miss them.

Why are they not trying to reach out to me?

And if they were trying to reach out, would they know how to get to me?

I believe they know I'm with Derrick.

Does Andy finally trust Derrick?

Does my Mum trust Derrick?

They barely know him and Andy has said infamous stories about Derrick. It would be very unlike him to think I'm safe with Derrick after all he has heard about Derrick from the internet.

The Internet. I have a phone and this suite is plunged to a free WiFi

The internet, I heard it has alot of answers, perhaps I can start finding answers to my questions from the internet?

First off, I connected to the WiFi and imputed the password which Tomiwa had written on a piece of paper and kept in the left bedside drawer.

How do I do this?

Google.

Great!

Let's search for,

Andy Tunde.