So Into You

CHAPTER 2

Chapter 2

Past

Puro putik na ang mga paa ko. Kitang kita ko iyon dahil sa sinag ng buwan.

"Labas ka diyan anak," Sambit ng tinig. Kaya't luminga linga ako upang makahanap ng mapagtataguan.

Hindi kita Ama, hindi mo'ko anak!

Tahimik na lumalandas sa aking pisngi ang aking mga luha.

Nang makakita ng malaking puno ay tahimik akong tumungo doon at umupo, idinantay ang aking ulo sa aking tuhod.

Tahimik akong nananalangin habang naririnig pa rin ang mga tinig nilang paulit ulit na pinupuno ang aking tenga.

Nang hindi ko na marinig ang kanilang boses ay pinunasan ko ang aking mga luha at unti unting tumayo.

Inilibot ko ang aking paningin sa lugar na ito.

I sobbed as I realized that I'm finally free. After 6 years.

Luminga ako sa paligid at nagsimulang lumakad sa kabilang dako. Nakakaaninag ako ng mga street lights.

Binilisan at nilakihan ko ang aking mga yabag hanggang sa narating ko na ang isang kalsada.

Sinundan ko kung saan ito patungo, lakad lang ako ng lakad.

I can feel my body trembling and my wounds aching. Ngayon lang ata natanggap ng katawan ko ang lahat ng pagod at gutom.

Ngayon lang nakaramdam. Baka nabigla ang katawan ko kaya namanhid sa umpisa at ngayon lang naipon lahat lahat.

Ramdam ko ang panghihina ko, I licked my lips as I felt my throat being dried.

Naalerto ako nang may maaninag akong headlight ng sasakyan sa hindi kalayuan.

Medyo lumalabo na ang paningin ko kaya kahit hindi maaninag ng maayos ay iniwagay way ko ang mga braso ko.

Habang papalapit ng papalapit ang sasakyan, palabo ng palabo din ang paningin ko.

Saktong paghinto nito ay dumilim na ang aking paligid.

"I SUGGEST you let her rest first while we examine and take some tests on her"

I regained my consciousness, I tried to lift my fingers but I can't move it. I tired to open my eyes but all I can feel is nothing but a force that keeps me from closing my eyes. Minutes had passed and I surrender trying my luck to move my body.

"Yes, thank you Doc" Familiar voice. The last line I heard before I lost my consciousness again.

A ray of a sun welcome me as soon as I opened my eyes. I am on my 4th year of college, taking up BS Psychology.

A typical college student who has an average grade, I don't do friends. Hindi naman sa ayaw ko makipagkaibigan pero ayoko maattach sa mga tao sa paligid ko.

Helena's corpse is on her family now, the woman confirmed that she's her daughter, of course they blamed themselves because of what happened why Helena is kidn*pped when she's still an infant. They didn't even get a chance to meet.

But seriously, blaming yourself about what's done can do no good. It will only waste your tears and time but I believe that that's their way of mourning. Blaming theirselves.

I know that because I'm learning about people's emotion and thinking.

I heaved a deep sigh and glance at the field of my school. We don't have a class right now because of the meeting, maybe about the upcoming sportsfest.

I'm not those type of students that hang outs with friends, eats at the cafeteria and make library as a hideout.

I'd rather spend my day observing people around me. Giving peace on my mind and breathing a fresh air.

This is my way of meditating.

Birds chirpping, dried leaves that falls smoothly from the tree, distorted coversations of people, sound of the wind and waves of the trees.

Who says I'm loner? I'm always with the nature.

It's just that they find it weird if they saw you not opening your social media account, surfing, not glued in your cellular phone in this modern day.

But who cares? People have freedom to choose. They have the right to do whatever they want without pleasing the people around him/her as long as (s)he's not doing anything wrong.

I wonder how Helena's Brother reacts on seeing her Sister, sleeping peacefully in a glass-wooded box.

It must be world wrecking.

Imagine, you, not seeing your sister for 5 years then found her lying in a cold coffin?

I hope they'll recover. But I bet it's really hard, knowing that they didn't even get a chance to build a memories together. They didn't get to experience laughing, crying, loving, protecting and caring with each other.

That is the heartbreaking part. Mabuti sana kung kahit nagkita kita man lang sila bago tuluyang nawala si Helena or naparamdam man lang nila ang pagmamahal sa isa't isa para hindi sila magsisi sa huli na hindi man lang nila binigay ang best nila to show their love.

Moving on is hard to do but accepting is harder than you thought.

Are you afraid of dying? Or you're just afraid for those people who will be left alone when you died? That they will be waking up in the morning without you by their side-or worst their life?

I know, we all afraid of dying because we can't bare to see them suffering, crying and mourning because of us. Not to mention about the pain that we will feel when our body are dying.

We don't want them to get hurt, to be in pain and to cry but we're also the one who'll make them feel that.

That is life. Even though it hards to let go, you need to. Inorder to live.

Always remember that you can't step forward if you can't move from where you're standing.

Pain will always be there.

All of us knows why pain is given to us it's just that we don't want to accept it because we want to point the blame on someone or something just to lessen the pain we're carrying.