That Autumn

Shin Ah has Changed

Seoul, spring 2009.

I can't understand what's going on in Shin Ah's mind. Is she worried about me? Alright, I can understand that. But assigning two bodyguards to watch over me while I was at school was too much for me. Indeed, they weren't real bodyguards but two hoobaes who later conspired with him. They are Min Ji and Ye Jin. Yes, they are first year students, not Sunbae like we thought before. And I feel so stupid about it.

I don't know what they talked about with Shin Ah in the toilet to agree on this ridiculous thing. From today onwards, the two girls started to take care of me. As if I couldn't take care of myself. Come on! Who will hurt me when there are so many people at school? After all, they were in first grade. How do they take care of me when my class is so far away from theirs?

"Is there nothing we can do?" Min Ji complains while stroking her stomach.

The nine of us were in Shin Ah's living room. The second year students are busy doing group work while Min Ji and Ye Jin do useless things. They've been playing around ever since and they get bored easily too. It made Shin Ah, as the host, as well as the person who invited them feel bad. She tried her best to make them feel comfortable. She even ordered jjamppong for an evening snack. Who would have thought that her efforts were in vain? Min Ji and Ye Jin are not easy to please.

"You can help us with assignments," Kyu Ri chirps. At first, she was helping Na Ra collect literature from the internet. "Or you can massage me because my shoulders are sore from studying too much."

"Yes!" Ye Jin went on without much arguing, then massaged Kyu Ri. She is actually a sweet child. I had misunderstood her.

"Smart girl!" Kyu Ri nodded pleasantly. "Come home later, I'll buy you ice cream."

"Thank you, Eonni!" Ye Jin is getting excited.

"I wouldn't do such a lowly job just for the sake of ice cream." Min Ji's sarcasm.

"Min Ji-ah! I broke my pencil. Sharpen it!" Gina hands her pencil to Min Ji arbitrarily.

"Sure!" Min Ji accepts it and rushes somewhere.

"You shouldn't take them if we're going to do homework. Isn't it rude to invite people over and then ignore them?" I'm still voicing my disapproval. The problem is not that Shin Ah takes Min Ji and Ye Jin to her house, but makes them my bodyguards. I still can't figure it out with her. Especially the people who agreed to her ridiculous plan.

Shin Ah looked down with a sullen face. "I was just worried about you."

"I'm not bored!" Ye Jin spoke to defend her. Hearing that, Shin Ah got excited again. She jumped from her seat to do a high five with Ye Jin.

"Never mind Anna-ya! Don't be angry with her. It's natural that she's worried about you." Ah Rin joined in defending her. It's true that I've been nagging Shin Ah since. But nagging doesn't mean getting angry, right?

"What is not natural is her overprotective attitude," Da Mi said. I love it when someone stands by my side. She is still focused on her job. Although her mouth spoke, her eyes did not turn from her work.

"I can't find the sharpener." Min Ji returned with an unsharpened pencil and a bitten apple. "Shin Ah-ya! Do you have a sharpener?"

"You should have asked before looking." Kyu Ri's comment. Ye Jin is still massaging her. "You won't find a pencil sharpener in the kitchen anyway."

"There's one in Oppa's room. The door is above the stairs. You can look for it there." Shin Ah said.

Min Ji leaves again, proudly chewing the apple in her hand.

"I wonder what else she will bring after this." This time it was Na Ra who spoke. Since then, she has been more silent. After we discussed the age in Da Mi's limousine earlier, and realized that she was the youngest out of all of us, she became quiet.

"Woah! She's talking! She's talking!" Ye Jin shook Kyu Ri's shoulders back and forth.

Kyu Ri clapped her hands. "Do it right!"

"Yes! Eonni!"

"My dear friends!" Min Ji is back again. This time he brought a DVD. "Just continue with your work later. Now let's watch a movie first."

"Where's my pencil?" Gina asked. Min Ji pretended not to hear.

"What's that?" Da Mi, who was interested, inched closer to Min Ji.

"I found this in Shin Ah's oppa room. Let's watch it!" Min Ji shows off the DVD in her hand entitled 'Sausage, Egg, and Mayonnaise' with the cover of a plate of breakfast on the same menu.

"I've never heard of that film," Ah Rin said.

"Probably an indie film." I came closer out of curiosity.

"She even brought a movie about food." Ye Jin teased, but miraculously, she had moved to the side of Min Ji.

Min Ji puts the DVD into the DVD player in Shin Ah's living room. Everyone stopped their previous activities to watch out of curiosity about the movie that Min Ji was going to play. The girl sped up the film to see how good it was. And...

Shin Ah glared without blinking.

I covered my eyes with both hands but, out of curiosity, I peeked a little through the finger gap.

The film features a man and a woman doing something indecent. Both of them are not wearing clothes and they are doing oral to each other.

"YA!" Gina threw the sofa cushion and hit right at Min Ji's head.

Ye Jin took the initiative to take the remote by shaking hands to turn off the television.

Na Ra was nauseous and ran to the bathroom to throw up.

"What is wrong with her?" Min Ji didn't mind that she was just thrown by Gina. She even acted as if nothing had happened. She instead pointed at Na Ra who ran while covering her mouth. "Could she be pregnant?"

She received the second throw. The culprit is the same. Gina.

"Eonnie!" Min Ji pursed her lips, trying to show Gina her cuteness and, instead, looked weird.

"Hmmm... We'd better do our homework." I feel awkward after seeing such a scene. It's my first time. I've never watched p**n before. Didn't even think about starting watching it.

"What kind of movie is that?" Ye Jin is still staring at the dead television with a disappointed face. "Where's the sausage?"

Gina threw another pillow at Ye Jin. "Didn't you see the sausage earlier?"

"Ah.. That's sausage." Ye Jin's face suddenly turned blue at the thought. "I swear I won't eat sausage for the rest of my life."

"Can we not talk about it any more?" Na Ra came back with a wet face. She not only washed her face but splashed all over her head. "Or I might throw up again."

"But.. I've never seen anything like that." Shin Ah spoke after she came back from her shock. "I think there's something we can learn from there. Aren't you curious?"

"No!" Na Ra snapped while glaring. This is the first time I've seen her angry. "That's not something a minor should see. Now go back to your place and do your job, Eonni!"

"Okay!" Shin Ah inched towards her assignment paper. She then glanced at me and whispered, "Would you like to stay overnight? After they get home late, they accompany me to watch the movie. I'm curious!"

"Yuh!" I shuddered in disgust. Why should I watch something as disgusting and slimy as that? Just looking at it made me sick. "I don't want to! You watch it yourself."

"Well that's that then." Shin Ah lowered her head to write something on his paper. Soon she came back to me. "Are you sure you don't want to come with me?"

"No!" I pushed her face away.

"What did you two discuss?" Da Mi approached out of curiosity.

"Mind your own business." Gina pulled her back. "You haven't done anything since."

"How can I do anything if you keep clinging to me like this?" Da Mi protested.

"Like this?" Gina hugged Da Mi's arm and rested her head on the girl's shoulder.

"You didn't do anything either." Kyu Ri quipped from the farthest corner. And she immediately fell silent when she got a cynical look from Gina.

"Go there! It's hot!" Da Mi tries to break free but fails.

"Ck, they are. Since when are they dating?" Ah Rin asked Shin Ah, who was only answered with a shake.

"I was wondering too." Min Ji watched Da Mi and Gina carefully. " Those two don't look like they're dating. It's just one-sided love, right?"

Gina pelts Min Ji. This time with socks.

"YA!" Da Mi, who had one of her socks removed by Gina, was trying to get hers back. She crawled towards Min Ji but the girl had already thrown away the socks in shock.

And Da Mi's socks landed on the table right in front of me. "What the...!"

"I will protect you!" Shin Ah heroically removed Da Mi's socks from in front of me and threw them far in front of the door.

Da Mi runs to get it before someone else throws it again. "Can you guys not play with my socks?"

"Because it stinks!" Min Ji covered her nose.

"Like dried fish," Ye Jin added.

"I always wash my socks! It doesn't stink!" Da Mi defended herself.

Na Ra sighed. "Looks like this task won't be finished tonight."

Kyu Ri agreed with a nod.

***



Seoul, spring 2009.

Shin Ah's leg has completely healed, so she can come back to pick me up to go to school together. I'm grateful that her injury is recovering quickly so she doesn't have to suffer any longer. Besides that, I'm also happy that Min Ji and Ye Jin no longer need to be my guards. Not that they suck. It's just that having bodyguards when I'm just a normal high school student feels too much. Even so, I still have one more guard and this one doesn't feel like an exaggeration, since she is Lee Shin Ah.

Yes, Shin Ah is still being overprotective to me since the threatening letters came. Even though it was just a letter, she was so worried. She never lets me go anywhere alone. She picked me up when I was going to school, accompanied me wherever I went, and drove me home safely. I'm not bothered by Shin Ah's attitude. I just love being able to go anywhere with her.

Not only overprotective, I also felt another change in Shin Ah since that day. It's just... I'm not too sure about this one.

"Please, sit!" Shin Ah pulled out a chair for me as soon as we got to class. She also helped me carry my bag.

"Thank you." I smiled at her sweet attitude. I don't think I'll ever get bored with it.

Shin Ah pushed the chair as I was about to sit down. After that, she sat down in his chair.

"Anything else do you need?" she asked.

I shook my head. "Maybe later."

"Then..." She leaned over to whisper something in my ear. "Can I kiss you now?"

"YA! What kind of question is that?" I pushed her face, making her sit back properly. "Many people here."

"But I want to kiss you!" Shin Ah protested with a sullen face.

This is one of the changes I mean. She became addicted to kissing. Ever since I started getting those anonymous letters. But.. Those two things have nothing to do, right?

I tried to ignore it and prepare my book for the first lesson. I tried not to look at her because she would also try to plead with me with all kinds of cuteness which I couldn't stand. Often I give up on her, but this is a classroom. I'm not crazy enough to do that here.

"Oh! What is this?" I took out a box from under my desk drawer as I was about to put some books there. It is the size of a shoebox but feels light. Who put it here? I don't think there was one yesterday.

"Do not open!" Shin Ah stood up from her chair. "I'll report it to the teacher."

"Reporting what?" I'm laughing. It's just a box. "I think someone forgot and left it here."

"That's your desk, Ji Woo-ah!"

I ignored her and opened the box. She was worrying too much about this and that. What's so scary about a box? Maybe it contains important items and the owner's identity is there. Wouldn't someone have to open it to find out?

"KYA!" I threw the box along with the lid on the table after seeing the contents. It's a dead mouse. The poor animal was brutally beheaded until its head was separated from the body, then its lifeless body was placed on a white pillow that had turned red with blood. Seeing something like that at such a close distance makes me cringe and nauseous at the same time.

Because of my scream just now, the whole class looked at me. Na Ra and Gina even rushed over to ask what happened. I can't answer them. I could only stay where I was with my hands shaking. The image is still very clear in my head.

Shin Ah caught a glimpse of it. She knew what was in the box. Seeing me turning so scared, she took the initiative to get rid of the box. I don't know where she took it. Soon she came back to me.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

I shook my head.

"Someone put a dead mouse in there." Shin Ah explained to Na Ra and Gina, who wanted to know. Da Mi, Kyu Ri, and Ah Rin also gathered around my desk. "I swear I'll find that boy and teach him a lesson."

"This is outrageous! That person must be stopped." Gina growled.

"Eonni..." Na Ra came closer to rub my shoulder. She felt sympathy but didn't know what to say.

"She looks pale. Maybe you should take her to the infirmary." Kyu Ri said to Shin Ah.

Shin Ah looked down and touched my face. "You want me to take you to the infirmary?"

I nodded. I felt that I would explode if I spoke. My body couldn't even stop shaking.

"Can you walk?" Shin Ah asked while helping me up.

I do not know. I feel like I'm going to fall at any moment. Shin Ah helps support my body so I don't fall. She guided me to the infirmary. She took so good care of me.

As we almost arrived at the infirmary, we passed Kim Su Min Sem who was in charge of guarding the infirmary. She seemed to be leaving in a hurry but stopped as soon as she saw us.

"Hagsaeng! You look unwell." Su Min Sem talked to me. "You're going to the infirmary?"

"Anna isn't feeling well," Shin Ah answered.

"But I have an urgent need. I have to go. Can you help me look after her for a while, Hagsaeng?" Sem asks Shin Ah. "If she feels too sick, call the teacher's room immediately."

"Of course, Sem. I'll take care of her."

"Ah.. But class will start in thirty minutes. You have to skip your class if you look after her." Sem checked me out for a bit. She touched my forehead whether it was hot or not. "You look bad, kid! Tell me what you feel. I'll have another teacher take you to the hospital."

"I'm fine, Sam." I forced myself to speak. But the sound that came out was so low. "I just needed to lie down for a bit."

"Are you sure?" Sem stroked my head. Her face looked worried.

I nodded.

"Then bring her in." Sem said to Shin Ah. "I'll try to get back soon so you don't stay out for too long."

After Sem left, Shin Ah took me into the infirmary. No one was there because it was still early and sem had just left. Shin Ah helped me up to one of the high beds that was there, then took off the blazer I was wearing so I felt more comfortable.

"I’m sorry.. Ji Woo-ah." She mumbled softly, but it was enough for me to hear because it was so quiet there. The medical room is located at the end of the school building, away from the crowds. "I can't take care of you."

"No Shin Ah-ya. I should be the one apologizing." I touched her hand which was wiping the sweat on my forehead. My hands are still shaking. The fear is still there. It didn't decrease at all, even though Shin Ah had gotten rid of that terrible thing.

"You haven't stopped shaking since then." She realized it. "Is that so terrible?"

I nodded.

"Come here!" She took a step forward to hug me. I nodded and rested my head on his shoulder. Shin Ah patted my back slowly trying to calm me down. "You don't have to remember it anymore."

I never knew Shin Ah's hug could be so soothing. I felt very comfortable in her arms. Slowly, the fear began to dissipate along with a belief that appeared out of nowhere. No one will be able to hurt me because Shin Ah is here.

Shin Ah tightened her hug. Now not only comfortable, but also warm. I no longer think about the bad things that just happened. Her scent managed to seduce me, making me want to be in her arms a little longer.

"Ehem.." I cleared my throat when I caught her hand that was no longer patting my back but my butt. I was so carried away that I didn't realize her hand had been down so far.

"Ehehe..." Shin Ah let go of her hug. Her face turned red when she was caught off guard. "I thought you didn't notice."

"I'm going to lie down for a bit." I took off my shoes and Shin Ah helped put them on the floor. "I'm fine now. You can go back to class."

"Let me help you untie your tie. You might suffocate in your sleep." She offered.

Actually, I can do it myself. But... "Okay."

Shin Ah closed the curtain that was deliberately placed around the hospital bed. After that, she took off the tie I was wearing. She also helped me unbutton my shirt. Not just one or two. She opens everything.

"Is this necessary?" I asked. I don't want to be presumptuous. Shin Ah must have a reason.

"Of course." Shin Ah continues her work. This time it's not just buttons. She even took off my shirt. "Undressing can help you breathe better. And most importantly..."

"The most important?" is there more?

"I've never seen you in just your underwear." She smirked lewdly.

"YA!" I pushed her away and grabbed my shirt which was still in her hand. I put it on in a hurry because Shin Ah kept looking at my breast.

"There's actually one thing I'm curious about." Shin Ah jumped on the bed and sat next to me. "Why is your chest so small?"

"YA!" I pushed her harder, making her chuckle mischievously. "I'm still growing. I'll get bigger later."

"I can help you then." She loosened her fingers then pointed them at my chest.

"What? What do you want to do?" I pushed her a third time. She's not angry. Even laugh. "Go back to your class."

"But..." Shin Ah suddenly stopped laughing and pouted. "I didn't get my kiss this morning."

I sighed. She hasn't given up yet. Even after a commotion happened.

"Come on!" Shin Ah shifted her seat until we were right side by side. "No one will see. No one here."

"Okay!" Since it wasn't a difficult request to fulfill, I complied. I leaned in and kissed her lips.

I was planning on just giving her a quick kiss, but Shin Ah doesn't seem to think so. I was about to pull myself away from her when she held my head and smacked my lips roughly. I put up no resistance and followed the game. She bites my lower lip until I open my mouth and she is free to explore the inside of my mouth with her tongue.

Actually, when Shin Ah like this, it scares me a little. I don't hate what she did to me. I'm just afraid that if it continues like this, one day she will cross her line. She seemed possessed by something. Something that took over her body and mind.

And I don't know if complying with her wishes like this is the right thing to do. Whenever she looked at me, the only thing I could do was surrender myself to her.

"Shin Ah-yah.." I pulled away when Shin Ah left me breathless. I couldn't even continue my words.

She looked at me with her sad eyes. She was just as breathless as I was. I thought she was done, but I was wrong. She hit my neck. Kissed there very strongly. I, who have not managed to catch my breath, now really stop breathing. This feeling.. I started to understand how Shin Ah felt. Possessed. Maybe this is what it feels like to be possessed. A crazy feeling when her soft tongue touched my skin. I hugged her tightly. Don't want to let her go.

The bell rang signaling the first lesson was about to start. At the same time, it made me realize that we are still in school today. Someone might come and see what we were doing. Although almost every school knows about how Shin Ah and I are in a relationship, this is still something that is not appropriate to do at school.

"We'd better get back to class." I jumped off the bed.

Shin Ah followed me. Her face turned completely red. "Now? But you're not well."

"I'm fine." I smiled. "Thanks to you."

"Ugh.." Shin Ah pointed at my neck doubtfully. "I’m sorry, Ji Woo-ah. I left a mark there."

Kiss mark? Immediately, I went out of the room to look for a mirror. I found it. The mirror. Also, the trace that Shin Ah meant. It's like a red bruise. Not just one. There are three of them and they are very clearly visible.

"This.." I touched the mark Shin Ah made. "It'll be gone in a minute. Isn't it?"

"Eh?" Shin Ah thought and her face looked unsure. "Of course. It won't last long there."

Nonetheless. People will see it as soon as I get out of here. Aaargh!! What should I do?