My Favorite Prostitute

Kicked Out

It was the 1st day of the year, 1/1/2001. I woke up exhausted.

The night before was New Year’s Eve, but I really didn’t know what that meant. We never had celebrated New Year. All I remember about New Year was “strangers in our house”, that’s how we spent New Year.

I was 7 and I was taking care of my new born sister, Roupi. Trying to make her sleep in the bedroom, behind the locked door.

When she slept, I opened the curtain and watched outside. The people were celebrating New Year. They had tables full of yummy food, music was loud, everyone was dancing, hugging, laughing and happy. At midnight, I saw this fat and old cute grandpa wearing red, with a huge bag on his back, entering everyone’s house.

He didn’t visit us.

He didn’t give gifts, we never sang.

That man was called Santa Clause.

I never met him till I was 8.

I always wondered why everyone loved this day so much, why did they celebrate? I didn’t have any idea.

Suddenly, I hears the door bell rang, and I heard strangers came inside our house.

My older sister, Sarine, was allowed to go outside the room, but I wasn’t, yet.

After an hour, I hear the door shut close and I ran to the window, I saw my dad with his bottle, sitting on the stairs in front of the house.

He lit a cigarette and laid back.

The disgusting voices started to enter my ears. Started to get louder.

I didn’t know what was happening outside, but I know it was something disgusting.

My mom and my older sister were loud.

I was curious, so I tried to look out the door hole, for the first time in my life.

I froze.

I wished I didn’t look.

There were 5 men, my mom and my sister. I felt I was choked and I couldn’t handle what I saw, and I puked.

Roupi woke up crying. I prepared her bottle and she finished it quickly. I changed her diaper and she slept back.

I went back curious and watched my mom and sister. I hated my life. I was afraid. I started crying.

I was tired of crying and I was sleepy. I didn’t know why my father, didn’t protect them and he left out, drank till he was out of control.

The music started to get lower and I ran to the window, everyone was turning off the lights.

The door was open, I ran back to look I side the door hole and saw my dad. One of the men was paying him. I didn’t know why, but he got a lot of money in his hand, the men left.

I ran to my bed next to Roupi and pretended msleeping. The door was unlocked and Sarine took a towel. She looked pretty tired.

Sarine was taking her shower, but she left the door wide open, so I was able to watch, what my dad was doing to my mom. The exact same things, those men did to mom and Sarine.

I really wished I was dead or blind.

What were they doing?

I fell sleep.

Next morning, I woke up to the cries of my mom and Sarine. Dad was beating them badly.

I said nothing. I didn’t even move. I kept watching from under my blanket.

Roupi was awake too. I took care of her needs as usual. Changed her cloths, fed her, and stayed on my bed.

Dad went out at 7, as usual.

I heard mom and Sarine talking.

Mom:-“I don’t want to do this anymore. He is taking all the money.”

Sarine:-“what can I say?”

Mom:-“ I’m gonna kick them out.”

Sarine:-“who? The kids?”

Mom:-“yeah.”

Sarine:-“but why? What did they do?”

Mom:-“ I don’t want to feed them anymore. They don’t bring money. And I am sleeping with those disgusting men to get a little amount of money, to feed them? Not anymore.”

And suddenly out of nowhere, my mom pulled me by my hair and kicked me outside the house. I was shocked, I didn’t know what happened. Why did she do that?

2 minutes later, she opened the door. I thought she was going to take me back in, but instead, she handed me Roupi and closed the door.

I was shocked and confused, what was happening? I wore pajamas, and no shoes. She also brought Roupi’s bag.

I started crying. I begged her to open the door but she didn’t. It was freezing outside. Roupi started crying too, and yet she didn’t open the door.

Aren’t mothers suppose to protect their children?

I sat there waiting for hours, Holding Roupi and trying to keep her warm. We were freezing and I was starving.

I saw my dad, put Roupi on the ground and ran to him. I was telling him what mom just did, and he was indifferent, he pushed me aside and walked away.

Then, he stopped and turned back to me. For a moment I was hoping he would take us back home, but he handed me some money and walked away.

He went home and we were left outside.

I knew I had to do something., but what? I was too little and my baby sister with me. I sat in front of the house for 2 days, in that freezing cold.

The neighbors helped us with blankets and food. Some of them even invited us to their homes, they offered a night stay, but I refused.

It seems like, one of the neighbors reported our case, because 2 days later, 3 people came and took us to the orphanage.

I resisted and refused at first, but then I thought I had no other choice, and left with them.

When I first stepped inside, I saw many children. They greeted us with smily faces and with disappointed eyes.

We started to talk, and got to know each other. Some of them had no parents at all, some of them were kicked out like us.

Roupi was safe, they were taking a good care of her, she looked fine and very much more healthier.

I was happy to see her smiling.

Time was passing and I started to have dun with the other kids, in a safe place and a healthy one.

By time, Roupi started to walk and say some words. She really loved me a lot and I loved her so much. She always smiled at me, whenever she saw me. We spent our times together.

I started school. We ate good food and everything was just fine.

A years has passed and New Year was in few days.

I was afraid. You know why…

I started to remember the last one. The fear surrounded my heart. What was going to happen?

A day before the New Year’s Eve, the teachers called us to help them with the decoration, we were going to decorate the hall to celebrate New Year.

Although I was afraid, I started to feel excited for the celebration. I was one of the 1st students to join the decorating.

Roupi was watching me all the time, and I was playing wit her and singing to her, and decorating in one hand. We were happy. Her eyes were shining and she was clapping with a huge smile on her face.

We never felt alone or abandoned. I guess we forgot about what happened. I forgot.

Now, the orphanage was our home sweet home.

The cook prepared delicious food, we had multiple choices of food and pastry.

At 4:00pm everything was ready. The decoration, the sound system, the food, we were ready to celebrate.

At 5:00pm we had visitors. I guess those people are really good people in nature.

I was always afraid of strangers, but in this orphanage, everyone was kind and nice.

The visitors were teenagers and adults. Some of them were married and had children.

A couple approached to me and my sister. At first I was afraid, but then, as they talked to us, I felt safe. They surprised us with lots of gifts, there were beautiful cloths for me and my sister, shoes and jackets. They had a box for us, full of whatever we needed. Accessories, underwear, brushes and many other things we needed.

They told me to wrote a letter to Santa.

Gasia:-“ sorry ma’am, but who is Santa? And what should I write?”

The young lady looked surprised and suddenly hugged me, she cried. I was confused, I didn’t understand what happened. She told me a story about Santa. That big fat grandpa, who wore red was Santa. Then she helped me with the letter.

Gasia:-“ma’am! May I ask for any gift I wanted?”

Lady:-“ yes sure honey!”

Gasia:-“then, I want a picture in a frame, a picture of me and my sister, wearing the new cloths hugging each-other and happily smiling.”

The young lady smiled and kissed me.

Lady:-“I wish, my daughter looks like you, you are so beautiful. Here in my belly I carry a child, a girl, and I want to name her after yours, Gasia. Would you allow me to name her Gasia?”

Gasia:-“ if you will tale care of her, the yes.”

She once again kissed me.

I was really excited. I wore my new cloths and Roupi also had her new cloths and she looked fantastic.

The young lady took our picture.

I was very happy. It felt like, I was walking on the clouds.

It was 8:00pm and we went to our beds as usual.

I couldn’t wait for the next day, I couldn’t sleep.

I finally fell asleep.

The next morning we had our breakfast, wore our new and beautiful colorful cloths. We visited the church. Then they took us to a beautiful playground, we had lunch and we played. It was a nice memory, which got carved inside my head till today.

At 4:00pm we were back to the orphanage.

I ran to the hall to see everything was ready. The food were on the tables, the decoration was stunning. We were ready to celebrate.

Once again, we had other visitors, this time another orphanage joined us. It was 8:00pm and my heart started to pound quickly. I knew at 8:00pm we slept, and it was time to sleep. But we didn’t eat, dance or celebrate yet!!!

My teacher noticed my panic and she said:-“Gasia, whats wrong?”

Gasia:-“its 8:00pm, but we still didn’t celebrate and now its time to sleep.”

The teacher:-“no Gasia honey, don’t worry. Today we don’t sleep at 8:00pm, today we celebrate till late hours.”

And suddenly all the lights were turned off and the music started.

I was flying of happiness. I was happy to see Roupi much happier than I was. At least she didn’t remember anything back at home, and she was able to celebrate New Year. She deserved this, because she was an innocent baby. Everything was odd to me, but I was dancing like crazy. I ate and danced and sang. We played with the other children, Roupi was laughing all the time, and I was glad to see her safe.

For a moment I thought, this was my happiest day in my whole life, but not yet… at 12:00pm the lights were dim and a soft music played in the background and we prayed.

Then… OH MY GOD!!!

The big fat grandpa wearing red entered, with a huge-huge bag on his back.

One by one he called us and we sat on his lap and sang to him, talked with him, played with him and asked questions about him. He was the cutest grandpa and he was so nice.

It was my turn. It was my first time to meet him. I felt a little weird but my teacher helped me to sit on his lap and …

Gasia:-“ Santa, my teacher told me, that you know everything, you see everything and you have answers to any question. Is this right?”

Santa:-“ yes, its true!”

Gasia:-“ then I have a question to ask.”

Santa:-“ yes, tell me, what do you want to know?”

Gasia:-“why did my mother never loved me?”

Santa was shocked. My teachers were shocked. I guess Santa didn’t have the answer, because he kept silent.

Santa:-“ its nothing like she didn’t love you, but because you deserve more than her love. You deserve the most beautiful things in this world and she couldn’t give all those.”

I didn’t understand what he said, but in that moment I was satisfied.

He handed 3 gifts. One for Roupi, on for me and one for us. Roupi got a doll, I got new coloring books and pencils and the third one was the gift I asked for, our picture in a frame. I became so happy and ran to our room and placed it next to my bed.

The night was long, we weren’t used to stay so late, we were all tired and sleepy. Everybody went to their beds. Everyone was happy and we all slept smiling.

The next day was 1-1-2002. Its been a year we were kicked out of our home, by our own mother.