My Own Destiny

Shattered dreams

As I woke up Sunday morning, I realized instantly I was not alone. My neck was stiff from lying with it resting on Lucian’s chest most of the night.

My movements must have woken him as well. I leaned my head up to look at him.

“I am sorry, you must have had such an uncomfortable night’s sleep.” I said, although he looked perfectly content.

We had not had a sleep over since we were children. I was suddenly very aware of his body touching much of mine. I moved to get up, but Lucian leaned in closer to me, his lips hovered less than inches from mine, “It was a good sleep.”

His voice was low and husky. Lucian leaned in closer, letting his lips touch mine. It was so unexpected; he had never tried to kiss me before.

I was so unsure what to do. Was I okay with Lucian kissing me? It felt nothing like when Jullian tried to force himself on me.

Lucian was gentle and I knew without a doubt if I told him no, to stop, he would, but I didn’t.

I felt his gentle touch become firmer; his lips were soft as they moved on mine. When I did not protest or pull away, I felt his other arm wrap around me, pulling my body closer to his. I let my lips move in tandem with his.

I felt an unfamiliar heat creep into my body, then I felt Lucian’s tongue drag across my lower lip. I knew enough to know that people use their tongue sometimes when they kiss, so I let my tongue meet his. The sensation of our tongues together made me moan into him.

I wrapped my arms around him, holding him tightly against me as we kissed.

Lucian pulled away, enough for us to make eye contact and his words sobered me instantly.

“Aurora, run away with me.” He said in an unfamiliar husky voice.

He moved to sit up, his eyes searching mine. “We can run away, live amongst the humans, eventually find another pack if you want.....Whatever you want.” He rushed out, like if he didn’t get it all out he may lose his nerve.

I could not help but break eye contact, thinking….I had thought of running away several times since Jullian’s arrival. Mia and I had talked a few ideas out but none included Lucian.

Could I run away with him? I do love him, but not in the way he wants. But most of all, I feared for his life. If we ran away together, they were bound to find us sooner or later. I would fear for Lucian’s life. I do not think my father would have him killed, but Jullian certainly would not hesitate, nor his father Jacques.

‘We run away without him.’ Mia said in a small voice.

I nodded to her in agreement.

I straightened my back and gathered my emotions. “Lucian, I cannot run away with you, it would be like signing your death warrant.”

“You cannot go through with this arrangement!”

I sighed, “I will first talk with my father.” I got up, I planned to shower, put on clean clothing and go see my father.

As I made my way to my closet something occurred to me, making me turn back to Lucian. “Promise me you will train Natalia, no matter what happens to me, even if I am forced to leave.”

Lucian opened his mouth like he was about to plead with me to reconsider my decision, but stopped. “I will train her as I did you.”

“Thank you.” I said and turned back to my closet.

As I gathered my clothes for the day, I heard a pounding at the door to my suite. I frowned, not knowing who would be at my door early Sunday morning. I somehow did not think it was Jullian, I would expect his knock to be louder or for him to try and just walk in.

Lucian and I both looked at each other for a few moments before I turned to go see who was at the door.

Lucian stayed sitting on my bed in the shorts and tank top he slept in.

I heard more pounding on the door as I made my way through my suite.

Glancing back, Lucian was still out of sight in my bedroom. I had left the door cracked open.

I knew he had enough sense to stay hidden depending on who was at the door.

I looked through the peep hole of my door and saw my sister Natalia and frowned. She rarely came to my suite for any reason, especially early on a Sunday morning when most sleep in. I froze and felt a knot form in the pit of my stomach. What was wrong?

I only stood frozen in fear of the worst for a few seconds before I swung the door open, startling Natalia. “What is wrong!” I yelled out, forgetting at the moment that Lucian was hidden in my bedroom.

Natalia’s eyes were wide in surprise, “No, nothing, everything is okay….or well….” She let the words hang in the air. She had not sounded convincing in the least.

“What is it?” I demanded, letting her enter so I could close the door.

“Well…” Her beautiful face twisted in thought, "I…I am not sure how to tell you this but…”

She made eye contact with me, then took a deep breath and blurted it all out.

“I saw Clara this morning and she had been with her sister and a couple of other girls this morning. They were heading out for a morning run and…” Natalia hesitated.

‘Do you think they were attacked?’ Mia asked me.

‘No, Natalia would be more upset, Clara is her best friend.’

I sighed and forced myself not to roll my eyes.

“Out with it already.” I could hear the impatience in my voice, I wanted to shower and talk with my father before Jullian and Jacques left to return to their pack.

My sister and I were close at one time, but in the last few years we spent more time irritating each other than anything else.

Natalia glared at me, I thought for a moment she might turn and leave, but she seemed to gather herself. I could tell she was having an internal dialogue with her wolf. She had not had her wolf for very long and I could usually tell when they were talking, she had not yet mastered hiding when she was having internal conversations with her wolf.

“The girls all saw Tria coming out of the room Jullian stayed in.”

I could feel myself frowning, why would Tria be coming out of Jullian’s room?

‘Oh, wake up little naive one, they don’t call her Tria the tramp from nothing.’ Mia growled out in my head.

‘What? No, Jullian has an arranged mating, he was dead set on appearances and me not being alone with other males. Why would he….’ I trailed off and realized now I was making it obvious I was talking with my wolf.

‘Because he sees you as a piece of property not a true mate, you would not satisfy his carnal needs last night so he found someone that would.’ Mia growled out.

“Aurora, did you hear me?” I heard from Natalia’s lips, snapping out of my internal dialogue, “She was wearing the same clothes as last night and she played it off like, ‘Oh no, no one was supposed to see me leave.’ She probably waited until she knew someone was in the hallway to leave.”

I looked back at my sister and nodded. “Its fine, I am going to talk with father this morning anyway. Jullian is a horrible male, I cannot be mated with him.”

I could see the slight relief on my sister’s face, and it actually helped my mood. It reminded me although we have not be getting along these last couple of years, she is still my sister and cares for me as much as I care for her.

Natalia’s face suddenly changed as her head swung around, looking towards my bedroom door. I am not sure what Lucian was doing but we had both heard a noise and it was clear someone was in my bedroom.

Her jaw dropped, “Please tell me that is not Jullian in there.”

I let the revulsion show on my face, “Of course not.”

I cringed inwardly as she rushed towards my bedroom door.

As Natalia had just about reached the door, it was like Lucian knew she was coming, so he opened the door, stepping into the doorway.

I could see Natalia eyeing Lucian, taking in his appearance, his tousled hair along with the shorts he typically wore to sleep.

Natalia’s eyes fell on me. I could see the pain as her eyes searched mine. She was hurt and it hit me, she thought Lucian and I were a thing, and she had a crush on him.

“Its not what you think.” I spat out, but she held her hand up, “Not my business.” She said as she rushed out of my suite.

‘Were those tears?’ I asked Mia.

‘I think they most certainly were. She is crushed, she thinks you are going to talk with your father about Jullian but probably about Lucian as well. She thinks that you want to be with Lucian.’

I felt my shoulders sag in defeat, ‘I will have to stop by to talk with her later but first I need to shower and talk with my father.’ I felt horrible that her feelings were hurt, but I had other matters that I needed to tend to first.