Tragically Fated

Chapter 10

It's past 1:00 o' clock in the midnight and I still cannot find a right position to fall asleep. My mind was full of thoughts about him. My eyes are widely opened. I spun off to look upon the ceiling as if my eyes fixated, staring at it. 

I felt so weak that I cannot wipe off the traces of dried tears on my cheeks. I was just fully exhausted from crying all night and still cannot get out of the excruciating pain in my chest. As if the tears are not enough to lessen my heart ache.

 Out of the blue, I heard a heavy step stomping the stairs. His steps are hefty and full of authority which I already guessed who is he. I pretended to close my eyes like how I pretend and hide my feelings for him. I pretend to calm myself as if showing him that I am fine but I am already broken inside. I pretend that everything is okay and everything will be fine.

My heart beats hammered very fast. As if pounding to the point that my heart going to explode in every moment. Beads of sweat began to stream on my forehead as he opened the door of my room. I felt his presence stopped for a moment then closed the door before he walked towards me. I made a small "o" on my mouth to catch some air to breathe and at the same time maintaining my poise.

I sense his figure when the bed moved a bit due to his weight as he sat down beside me making a short creaking sound. I felt his gentleness every move as if trying himself not to make a noise. My beating became trice to the stage that I could hear it. 

He tucked my hair behind my ears gently. Softly. I felt like an expensive, fragile glass. His calloused hands caressed my cheeks occupying the half of my face.

 I can't help but to indulge this moment. It's like all the anger and wrath I am containing suddenly vanished in just a snap. At his tempting touch, his forbidden presence, I was defeated like a feather in the wind. Like a pliant bamboo, trying to combat the storm and yet I lost in the end.

"You must be tired, hmm? I'll go now." 

He ran his finger through my hair and planted a soft, warm kiss on my temple. It's like the world revolves only for us at this moment. I want to stop the clock from running right now. I want to savor this indulgence. I want him only by my side. I want him. I love him but I know it's impossible to happen.

It's impossible for us to have a happy ending because from the very first place when the war has started, I know I cannot have him in any way. 

He has his own world. I have mine.

I don't know for how long will I conquer this feelings but for only I know that when every tomorrow comes, it's becoming painful and hardly to bear.

As the door closes once again for his leaving is the sudden burst of tears I am keep on holding. It's incessantly falling while my eyes are closed, waiting for the moment I fall asleep until my world filled with darkness. I fell asleep with a bittersweet feeling in my heart.

The day of class, we spent our time looking back on the previous topic that has been discussed which will be the focus of our exam. It was just summing up all the lessons we have tackled. Nothing special about it.  We had our dismissal very early so I decided to rush home to study for the exams tomorrow.

In the midst of the examination days, everybody was eager to pass seeing them reviewing which was an unusual tone of their mood. The usual mischief boys in the back seats also have their own business memorizing the notes they have made.

The test papers were deliberately delivered to the designated students. When I have received the test papers, I heaved a deep inhale and composed myself to answer the following questions.

Everything was going smoothly. In just a snap, I flipped the test paper on the second page. It was easier than I expected. Not until I heard a strange sound from the audio. It was from the speaker of our room. It's a deafening noise from the microphone of its screechy, high pitch tone.

It's like an announcement sent to all students.

Then she began her speech.

"From the back of your paper, kindly fill up the 7 questions in an essay form. Leave all the questions in front of your papers blanked."

It has been repeated several times.

I was bewildered by that moment when the students seemed unconscious of what's said in the announcement. I observed everyone who is engrossed, answering their test papers. As if they are not bothered of the announcements.

As if they didn't hear a single thing. As if an unexplainable phenomena which only me could hear that thing.

Without further ado, I flipped the test papers on its back page and I noticed a faint ink written about the questions. Like if you didn't hear the announcement, you wouldn't notice the trick.

What's happening.

"Gab! Let's treat ourselves!" 

The hectic week was done and we survived from the waves of examination. I was still bothered by that occurrence. There's so many what if's lingering on my mind.

What if I just answer the test questionnaires and disregard that thing.

What if... What if....

Uhh, I clenched my fist and jaw in frustration. 

"Gabbie!" a loud, baritone voice behind me filled the four side corner of the room.

He's at it again. His transparency, the readable expression, his reddening face. It's very natural for him. I bit my lower lip to refrain from smiling.

"Are you free today? Let's celebrate."

I saw Lily beside me intently staring at Liam, rummaging him from head to foot. 

"Oh! That's great, Lily invited me lunch as well. You might wanna join us."

Liam looked at Lily beside me. I guess he already noticed who I am with. Meanwhile, Lily cannot believe of what I've said. Her face says otherwise. Her expression conveys that she wanted to return back what she just said lately. 

And the dinner went well. Funny how fate played with your destiny. They became closer than what I have expected.

From this day, this is the first memory with I had with them. Together.

My heart filled with joy seeing them happy with each other.

At some point, I felt at ease. All the trepidations and doubts has gone. Erased by the good memories we had created. I hope this won't be the last. I hope this is just a good start. That in every single day of my life living here, I have them to lean on.

From the right time will come, there will be no regrets. That when the right time has come, I will be shedding  tears for an overwhelming joy that I had at least once in my lifetime, I met them, we created good memories, and I know that I could say to myself that they are worthwhile.

This world is worthwhile. Even if I restrain myself to socialize, even if I stop myself to attach in the certain thing in this world, there are people who made me felt loved and I can't help but to love them too.

It's irrevocably irrevocable that I'm starting to grow 'Love' in this world.

The days went by, Monday has come. Examination has just been done so classes are not yet busy. We can have our free time as the teacher didn't attending the class.

"Gab! Gab!" Lily called me in rushed.

I arched my both eyebrows as a response. She held my wrist and we went outside the classroom. I didn't know where could she bring me this time until I noticed a crowded murmurs not so far from my vision. Then she brought me in the crowd unknowing of the commotion.

"Gabbie! You made it to the top 10! I'm so proud of you!"

My eyes widened in shocked. I cannot take the hammering heart beats inside my chest pumping drastically. Still didn't believed her, I looked at the bulletein board to reassure her news.

And voila! I was the tenth place in the list of the 'Gifted Program'.

"You're Gabbie Dimitri Adler, right?" A stranger said behind my back.

I just stared at her, still not yet recovered from the situation, giving me the opportunity to look at her white silky skin having her hair braided. Her face is as calm as Lily. Her round and thick glasses made her more innocent. It's like I am waiting for her next statement. I knew it. She has something more to say.

"I'm Rhetti Natalia Mateo, sixth place in the list," then she pointed her name. "Good to know that not only from our section made it at the top 10. You must have the potential."

Potential... Potential... What does she mean by potential? Does it mean that 'Gifted Program' was already planned and chosen from the selected students? How come? I remember the incident last week when I was taking the examination. That phenomena occurred.

There's a big puzzle behind this program.

I'll take it to dig deeper into that unknown mystery.

I only nodded at her as a response. Meanwhile, Lily is still at beside me searching for the other names in the Gifted Program.

"Gab, do you have a relatives that has qualified here? Look. Markprin Gibss Adler. Just by hearing his name, I could see his manly, handsome feature."

And it shook me. Why is he here? I cannot believe it.

That moment when we joined that program, our life changes big time.

I repeat. BIG TIME.