Moon of The Afterlife

Chapter 12: Tonight never happened

Dante stood up, ignoring the weights in his heart. The desire to cry is there, but he can't figure out how he would confront him.

Should he hug him and thank the heavens? Should he be mad? or should he . . .be happy?

Louise watched Dante as he hesitated. The look on his face shows both happiness and pain, but the tears in his eyes show longing, and when a tear fell from Dante's eyes, an arrow of pain pierced Louise's heart that made her sneer and smiled bitterly.

"Fool," she hissed. 

THE CAFE closed at eight, and Louise went home after four, with the excuse of not feeling well. Of course, Arche loves his sister dearly, and he insisted that she should go home to their parents instead of going home to his apartment, so she'll have someone to ask if she needs anything.

After locking the front door, Arche is almost ready to leave. He was about to walk towards his car when Arche noticed Dante a few meters behind him, strangely staring at him.

"Don't you have to go to the club?" asked Arche. 

"Can we talk?" Dante asked back instead of answering Arche's question. 

Dante's voice sounds serious, sad, and disappointed, and Arche wonders what could be the reason why he looked so occupied since the afternoon. Arche noticed Dante's silence but decided not to ask since Arche, himself, is occupied, too. 

The cold wind blew as they stared at each other for a moment. Dante's growing more impatient, but he knew he couldn't blatantly ask Arche, for he might choose to leave again. That's the last thing Dante would ever wish to happen. He had endured so much for the last two thousand years, and he couldn't afford to lose Libulan again. But still, there are things he wanted to clarify before making a decision.

"S-sure," Arche stammered with his reply as he looked away and started walking towards his car. "Get in. I'll drive you to your workplace."

"Drive home. I don't have work tonight," 

Arche nodded and forced a smile. "Okay," he said. 

IT'S BEEN three minutes since Arche started driving, but Dante still hasn't uttered a single word. He's been staring out the window ever since he sat there, and Arche couldn't help but notice his strange behaviors. He's not supposed to ask, but he's getting worried about something he couldn't even tell what. Dante remained silent when they arrived at the apartment complex. When Arche parked the car, he just hopped out without saying anything. He walked away as if he had forgotten that he had asked Arche to talk. Dante didn't forget that he asked Dante to talk, though. He just can't think of anything to say.

"Dante," Arche called when he could no longer ignore Dante's unusual behavior. Dante stopped walking and looked at him, still without saying anything. Arche closed the door of his car and stood there while staring at him. "Would you like to drink?" 

Dante thought for a moment before he smiled weakly at him. "Sure," he replied. 

***

The door of Arche's apartment clicked open. Arche went inside first and held the door open for Dante. 

"Come in," he said, so Dante went inside without saying anything. 

They walked to the living room, where Arche gestured for him to sit. The interior of Arche's apartment is similar to his. There's a welcome plant located in the east corner of the living room, where an average-size flatscreen television sits a few feet away from it. 

Arche went to his kitchen to get some glasses and a bottle of rum. He forgot to buy some beer and that he had already run out of beer supply in his refrigerator. He went out of the kitchen, but as soon as he opened his mouth to ask Dante if rum, instead of beer, would be fine, Arche found himself standing at the rooftop of the apartment building where he could see the stunning view of the city and the stary night sky. 

"Whoa, what are we doing here?" Arche asked while looking around, still holding the two glasses in his left hand and the bottle of rum in his right hand. 

"I just thought it would be nice to drink while looking at those flickering lights above and below. Don't you think so too?" Dante asked and smiled. 

Arche nodded and walked towards him. "Too bad, I only brought a bottle. Will rum be fine? I forgot to stuff my refrigerator some beer,"

"Yeah," Dante smiled while staring at his beloved moon deity. "I think that would be perfect."

"MUST YOU hurt them?" Louise sadly asked as she stared at the mirror. "He's not the only person you can love,"

"Right. But, will someone love someone like me? My name is enough to instill fear in anyone. Even my name is disgusting,"

"Your name is Bela," Louise said coldly and with evident annoyance. "You are Bela." 

"Bela. ... Why did you name me Bela?"

A smile aroused in Louise's face as she looked at the mirror and touched it. "It means beauty. You are Bela because you're beautiful,"

Bela froze upon hearing Louise's words. It ringed in her head, and it made her heart flutter. How could a weak girl like her makes her feel so special? 

"How could you say that?" Bela asked, almost sounding like a whisper to the girl sitting in front of her. "Do you think I would spare his life if you do this?" 

"No," Louise answered immediately. "I love him, but I'm sincere, Bela. You are beautiful."

THE RUM bottle is almost empty, and the air got filled with their loud laughter. Arche drank from the bottle and then passed it on to Dante. It was the last of the three bottles that Dante went to get after finishing the first bottle Arche brought with him earlier, but they only realized that when Dante drank the remaining rum. 

"Oh, jeez. That's the last bottle," Arche said and rested his head back to the railing of the rooftop. He's sitting next to the drunk Dante, who's been staring at the sky for a while now. The smile on Dante's face has faded, and the only expression that remained was his painful stare. 

"Am I ...a fool?" Dante asked without looking at Arche. It's like he's asking himself rather than Arche, and the way he stares at the sky says how sad he is right now. Dante sneered and shook his head, laughing. "I guess I am." Then glanced at Arche. 

Arche smiled bitterly and replied, "You are a fool," before looking at his empty and lightless shell above. "You wasted two thousand years to look for someone who ...doesn't seem to have a plan of having found. You've wasted your life for a coward. You're a fool for staying in love with someone who did not hesitate to leave you. You are a fool, Sidapa. ..."

All those words are like daggers piercing Sidapa's heart. He's been thinking about why did Libulan left, and he couldn't believe he spent two thousand years realizing that the answer's been lying right in front of his eyes. 

"Libulan doesn't love me, right?" he asked silently as his heart shattered into pieces.

"I guess so," Arche lied and sighed. "If he does, ... he wouldn't find the courage to leave you behind without saying goodbye."

It was painful to pretend you're clueless, but it's more painful to hear the person you love admitting that he doesn't feel the same way as you do. 

Sidapa's tears fell upon hearing those words coming out of Libulan's lips. He thought finding his beloved moon would bring back his joy, but all he got was pain— more of it. Libulan found him first, but he pretended like he was another person.

Libulan doesn't want to be with him— was the only conclusion that makes sense to him. 

"Didn't you tell me about the Bakunawa?" Dante asked again. "You said he's running away because the Bakunawa wants to kill him."

Arche nodded. "The Bakunawa is in love with you, but you never even glanced at her. So, she killed the moons and planned to kill Libulan,"

Sidapa smiled bitterly again. 

"It all makes sense now, " he said. "He probably loath me. I am the reason why he had to lose his family. I think I understand now." 

Since the day Sidapa laid his eyes on Libulan, he never appreciated anyone else except him. He finds the most beautiful goddesses unattractive because, for him, Libulan is more beautiful even than Mayari. The Bakunawa and the other goddess became just another normal being in his eyes. 

The death of the six moons, which he still couldn't feel, is probably the main reason why Libulan fell out of love with him. 

"Go back," Arche murmured, then looked at Sidapa. Their eyes met, and for a moment, Arche felt like the time had stopped for a while. He wanted to tell him he was only lying, but the thought of pushing him away could be the best way to help him move on and be happy with someone else— someone who deserves him and his love. "Go back to where you belong and forget about him."

Sidapa stared at his eyes with so much love and longing, then asked, "Why are you so against us?"

"I--I'm a Christian," Arche replied. "I don't support homosexuality." He lied again.

"Then why did you kiss me? That night, ..." 

Arche froze in shock. He found Dante staring at him when he looked in his direction, which made his hands tremble. His heart throbbed that the only thing he could do was look away. 

"I--I just... feel bad. N-nothing else," Arche stammered. 

Sidapa chuckled, still with hints of bitterness. "He's such a terrible liar." He thought.

Sidapa glanced above at his beloved moon. He had already made up his mind, but before doing that, he wanted to see one thing— the moon shining. 

"Arche?" Sidapa called. 

"Hmm?" 

"Can I ask you a favor?" 

Arche hesitated, but he nodded and smiled. "Sure. What is it?" 

Sidapa looked at him for a long moment before saying, "There are so many things I wanted to say to Libulan, but I don't think I can since he's not here. Can you pretend like you're him tonight?" 

Arche's hands balled into a fist, hearing how sad Sidapa's voice sounded. He's in pain, and he misses him a lot. Guilt is killing him, and he couldn't think of any way to console him, except say,

"Okay,"

Sidapa smiled and lifted his right hand to touch his face gently. He decided to give up and not to let Arche know that he knew who he was. He'll distance himself, so the Bakunawa won't try to harm him again. Knowing that Libulan is alive and is living a great life is enough, and Sidapa won't ask Almighty for more than this night to be with him. 

"I missed you," Sidapa hissed while looking straight into Arche's eyes. "If you wish for me to stop looking for you, I will. Just promise me you will be happy and will live a good life."

Arche's fist balled harder as he listened to his lover's words. He never realized how much he missed Sidapa until that moment. He could be brave this time, but thinking about how much Sidapa had suffered when he left, Arche couldn't just bring himself to come back to his life. For him, he's no longer worthy of Sidapa's love. 

"You'll forever be my moon, and I will forever look up at you. From the afterlife or my home, you'll forever be the only light and moon,"

Arche looked away by looking down to prevent himself from crying in front of Sidapa. But his tears refused to get stopped when they fell rapidly one by one from Arche's eyes. 

"I'll pretend this night never happened," Arche said and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He tried to act cool, but Sidapa already knew the truth, so he just stared at him. 

"Yeah," he agreed. "Pretend as if this night never happened."

The moment when Arche lifted his head to look at him again, Sidapa grabbed him by the neck and pulled him closer, crashing his warm lips against his. Arche felt his whole body froze with what Sidapa did. His heart skipped a beat, and the moon flashed like a massive light bulb in the night sky. This time, it didn't just flicker. The moon shined like it never stayed lightless for thousands of years. Sidapa finally saw it, and the sides of his lips curled upward for a smile before closing his eyes and moving his lips, which made Arche come back to his senses. He slightly pushed Sidapa's chest away, but Sidapa tightened his hold to him, grabbing Arche by the waist and pulling him closer to kiss him with evident thirst. And when Sidapa's lips moved again, Arche knew he could no longer resist closing his eyes and kissing his beloved deity back. With their throbbing hearts, they kissed, having the billions of stars, the heavens, and Almighty as witnesses of their sorrowful love.