Training to be his girl

THE PAST

Logans POV

She reminded me a lot of her. And being around her reminds me of what I have lost and that hurts a lot. I just want the pain to stop, I want the nightmares to end and I want her back my baby sister.

She was so innocent and pure and in the end, she was the one who pays the price for my father's sin. They killed her just to get back at him and I can't do anything about it.

And even as she dies her last word was "help them" even after all that. she was still so pure.

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My dad loves girls and everyone knows it especially underage girls he will buy girls from Auctions and bring them home he will torture them and he will kill them sometimes and me and my sister grow up listening and looking at the devil and his victims. And it was horrible sometimes our father will force us to look as he raps them and torches them he even makes us torcher them and if we refuse he will torcher us and let me say this it wasn't pleasant. he even sometimes make us torcher each other.

And there was nothing we can do about it. I mean we were kids and we fear our father I will be surprised if we didn't he was the devil himself he feels nothing and he gets pleasure by torturing and killing people he loves peoples pain and he even trying to turn us into him make us do the things he does and all. but it didn't work at the time.

But one day a girl escaped from my father's darkroom and she came after my sister I will admit my sister have tortured her a few times but she knew she has no choice and she has apologized and cried as she does it but in the end, it wasn't enough the girl escaped and torcher and stabbed my sister and I was to let. I couldn't save her. because I was on my computer listening to music's with my headphone and I couldn't hear her screams. by the time I heard her scream I was to let and she was already taking her last breath and the girl was standing with the knife in her hand and blood all over her. smiling like she won a prize.

And that day something change in me I became just like my father torching girls started giving me peace. because as I do it I feel like I am giving justice to my sister.

And to tell the truth, I am. And it feels good and it helps me sleep at night.

But now I am feeling different with Elina she is different she triggers something in me something I don't want to face something I don't ever want to remember.

She reminded me of that night she reminded me of my sister. the way she looked at me, the way she talks back to me. Something about her screams guilty and I hear that.

And last night after I wiped her I thought I will feel relieved but I didn't in stade I feel horrible and guilt I feel like I did something wrong.

And right now every part of me wants to protect her keep her close to me keep her safe. And that is strange because I never felt like this before. except when I was holding my dying sister. feeling like this about her reminds me of my dyeing sister and I hate the feeling I get when I remember that day.

I tried keeping it out of my mind for so long but I never succeed. I push it as far as I can and it seems to work until she came along.

Some part of me hates her for it but every part of me craves her and sometimes that scares me. It makes me wonder what is happening to me.

I mean for christ sake she makes me feel guilty and I never feel guilty about anything except for the death of my sister and now I feel guilty about whipping her, the way I talk to her, and even throwing her out of here I feel guilty about the way I treat her in general and it feels strange feeling guilty for other things except for the death of my sister.

Some part of me tells me to apologize to her and some say it is wrong I am really confused. I have never been this confused.

I will admit she looks a lot like my sister dark hair, blue eyes, and the fact that she is the same age as my sister when she died. but she is not her. And I have to accept that forget about it other with this feeling that I am feeling right now will kill me from the inside out and that should never happen. I will never let it happen and it will never happen not in a million years.

I have to stay strong and brave there is no place for weakness in my life. Because the minute someone feels my weakness. They will try to destroy me and that should never happen. Because I have a lot of orphanages and a lot of charities and if I fell they go down with me and that should never happen. They are my sister's legacies. And I can't let her down two times in one life. I won't let her down.