Training to be his girl

FEELING USELESS

"No please, I will do anything. Just don't heart me," I begged, but he didn't seem to listen. He keeps whipping me, causing me more pain over and over again. I wanted the pain to stop, I wanted to die. Get it over with, but that wasn't even possible.

I wanted to be safe again, I wanted to be loved and I wanted to live, but that wasn't possible either. I was worthless, a useless slut who deserved nothing but pain. And that hurt me a lot.

"You know what, you are a waste of my money. You can't even be the lowest thing in life, so I will just kill you," said Logan, and he pointed a gun right at my face. "No no please. I will do better. I swear to just do whatever you want with me. I won't fight, just please don't kill me" I cried, but he just pulled the trigger.

And I walked up screaming. It was a nightmare but my body was in a lot of pain and my back heart so much and all of a sudden I remembered why my body was in pain and I started to get scared. This wasn't a nightmare, it was a reflection of what happened and what would happen.

The door cracked open and the sound of it scared me more and more. Who is there? What is going to happen to me? Is he planning to kill me? My mind started asking this question, and there was only one answer in my mind. To survive, I have to behave and I have to make him believe that I am worth it. So I forced myself to stand and kneeled.

But it wasn't him, it was only Alex with a bowl of hot water in her hand. "It is okay, it is just me", she smiled and she helped me lay on the bed. Then she started cleaning my wounds. "Are you okay?" she asked and my tears started falling down my cheek." it is hard for the first couple of days but you will get used to it, I promise it will start to get better," she promised to try to make me feel good. "Why are you here?" I asked and she took some time to answer my question. "I am here because master ordered me to took care of you and teach you the basic rules." She answered and I nodded.

But then, despite my fear and my attempt to please him and stay alive, waves of anger started to boil inside of me.

If anyone should teach me anything it should be him not Alex. "I don't want you to teach me anything..." I cried and she looked confused." But..but if I don't he will punish us both you have seen what he capable of" she trembled in fear. "He doesn't have to punish you I will take full responsibility" I mumbled "but... but..." she stopped. it is like she forgets all the words she was about to say. "it is Okay" I started getting back on my feet. "Just tell me where he is and I will tell him myself," I said getting ready to face my nightmare from earlier. "He is gone now but he will be back at 4:00 and he is gone want to see you and.." she started and I stopped her "I don't want you to teach me anything just tell him I refused to learn anything and you should be safe," I said trying to calm my self "aren't you scared?" she asked "do you even know what you are doing?....do..you..even know that he can kill you, sell you, he can..beat you to dies, or even worse. Can't you see, today, he, beat the s**t out of you tomorrow, who knows" she cried, and she was right. He could put me down like a dog in the street like I was nothing, but I was willing to take that risk. Because, him killing me or not, I am still dead, so why does it matter?

*******

The door opened and Alex got in, closing it from behind. "He is here", she announced, shaking and trembling with fear. She was so scared she couldn't even breathe. She is losing her voice.

I took a deep breath and tried to control my fear and anger. Then suddenly the door knocked and we both jumped out of fear. "Mister Logen is asking to see you both in his office," said the mad. "We will be down there in a minute." answered Alex, and she turned her face to me, desperate and scared.

" Quick, we have to go. We don't need any more trouble now. We are in a lot of it as it is," she said, trying to hide her fear of her. Then we both opened the door and we rushed to Logan's room, scared and nervous. Thinking of what he might do to us. As we stood at the big door, Alex started shaking and her body started telling how scared she was. There was no hiding it anymore. Any person who sees her can tell how scared she was.

And I feel responsible for this. I am the one who refused to learn. I am the one who disobeys, not her, and now she is going to pay for my actions. I reached the door and I knocked softly. "Come in," said the voice we both feared and I pushed the door open and we let ourselves in, kneeling by the door like always. He was sitting in his chair. And he looks amazing in it. His black suit made him look like a true gentleman and his face said he was a dangerous man with a glass of alcohol in his hands. Which is not good. He didn't even bother to look at us as we knelt by the door. He just keeps his eyes away from him as he takes a little time for himself. After that was done, he stared at us for a moment. "Crawl to me" he ordered, and we both moved using our arms and legs. And we sat on our feet as we waited for what happened next.

He reached for Alex's hair and he started playing with it, making her more nervous and shaky. "You are scared?" He asked and her tears started falling silently. "Tell me did you teach her anything today," he asked and Alex bit her lips trying to hold her tears. "No master I didn't teach her anything" she answered. "Well this slave is being a bad slave am I right slave," he asked and she started to sob. "Yes master this slave deserves to be punished" she cried and I froze I was the bad slave not her I was the one who disobeys not her, I was the one who deserves to be punished not her. "I don't want her to teach me anything" I shouted and his attention turned back to me.

"Well, someone is speaking" he started, and I stared back. I wasn't scared. All I wanted was for him to kill me. I want this to end. I want my nightmare to become a reality and get it over with. After all way am I living. No one wants me and I have no reason to live in this world and live such a life, more than dying, so at this moment, dying is the only thing that makes me more to me. We stared into each other's eyes for a long time. It was like we were looking into each other's sole. Then he jumped and he squeezed his finger around my throat and I didn't even flinch. "Do you know what I could do to you?" He asked and I refused to answer. I just stared at him, looking through his monster's eyes.

Then his looks changed. I started reading Guilt in his eyes and he let go of my throat. "Crawl to the wall," he said, but it wasn't an order he was asking politely. I didn't move, I just stared. "I said crawl to the wall" he shouted. And my heart jumps out of my chest and I crawl to the wall.

Staring at him hoping he would just jump and squeeze his fingers around my throat, choking me to death

but that didn't happen. He grabbed Alex's hair and he started rubbing her face with his pants and he let her go and she started undoing his pants and boxers. And she was staring at his massive c**k. And she started licking his balls. I looked at her and I stared back at him. He grabbed her hair again and he shoved his c**k down her throat, making her choke, and he let her go and she started sucking his c**k down to her throat, making herself choke. Whatever she was doing, it was not making him hard or anything. His attention was on me, not on what she was doing. Then he grabbed her hair for the 3rd time and he forced her to take all of him. She started choking, but he didn't let go and, after some time, she started fighting for dear life. "behave", he ordered, and she started crying. Her tears fell down her cheeks and on his leg. That was when he let her go.

She collected all the air she could possibly run and she cried. "Go," he said and she runs out of the room. She didn't even dare look at me. And when I was there I didn't make any move. I stared at him. "I said go," he said, and he held my hand and he forced me to my feet and he pulled me to the door and he let,, push me out and he shut the door on my face.