Good Night Sweetheart

Morgan’s POV The rush of the ER used to be a thrill I lived for, but now I find it sickening. The thrill of it is gone for me now, and as the next wave of patients come in, I groan, rubbing my temples. I’m losing hope that people are worth saving. They seem so hell-bent on killing each other while I patch them up just to send them out again and end up right back here. Perhaps it’s the way things have gone in the city. Gangs and drugs rule everything here. The fresh batch of its victims being rolled in. Apparently, they were selling drugs on the wrong side of the city, and they are paying for it. It takes hours, but finally, the last of them have been cared for, only sending three straight to surgery. “Doctor Morgan, good work tonight.” Doctor Rodriguez praises with all the approval of any father. I like the middle age man. He’s in his late fifties and takes everyone under his wing, treating them all like his children. He loves this hospital and its staff. He will be the person I miss the most. Even if he does treat me like a child needing guidance. If he only knew I’m more than three times older than him. “Thank you, sir.” I reply, giving him a slight nod and smiling, “Sir can I ask you something?” “Of course you can, son?” He wraps an arm over my shoulder as we walk to the locker room. “Do you really think we did any good tonight? Some of those men I have patched up a dozen times. I save their lives just to have them come right back for me to do it again. one of them still had the sutures from the last time I sowed him up.” Hanging my head and sitting down hard on the bench in the locker room, feeling like everything I did tonight will be for nothing. I can’t keep saving people that don’t want to be saved. “You know that is the hardest part. I’m old enough that I remember the way the city was. It was full of promise, but now, the drugs moved in, and all that goes with it. Reviving junkies and saving the men that sold them the drugs. It can feel like we are just renewing the cycle. But I have hope. That one person out of everyone we saved tonight will come around and see where the road they are on leads to. I have to have hope in people.” He places his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it. Hope in people. That is the thing I am losing. Where can I find that hope? “I think you need a change of scenery. I saw you turned in your resignation. I wish you had come to me before doing that, John, but I understand this job takes a toll on a person. Do you know where you are heading to?” I look up at him just to see him smiling warmly at me, with all the understanding and warmth of my own father. “Yeah, it’s a small town, but they have a thriving community. The family doctor there wants to spend more time with his grandkids. I’ll be assisting him so he can be with his family more. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you sooner.” I feel suddenly ashamed of myself for not talking to him, but what could I have told him? I have been here for five years, and soon people will become suspicious. I have had too many close calls, getting stabbed once and restraining a man twice my size high on bath salts. It took three guards and an officer to control him later, and people began to whisper in the halls about me. I can’t let them find out my secret. “When do you leave? I know tonight is your last night, but you asked the administrator not to say anything, and you didn’t tell anyone. Hence, you plan to just leave without saying goodbye to anyone?” Doctor Rodriguez looks hurt a moment before smoothing it over in his typical warm smile. “I’m not very good with goodbyes, sir. But I was going to tell you.” I feel ashamed for hurting the man, but it is true. I hate goodbyes; I have said more than my share of them. Disappearing hurts less than watching the sad looks of people I have grown to care about. The fake promises I have to make that I will keep in touch or see them again, knowing I won’t. I have been all over the world, never staying in one place too long, constantly leaving people. It never gets any easier. “Well, promise you will visit this old man again.” He says, making me want to cringe as shame fills me. “Of course, sir,” I reply, avoiding his gaze. There it is, the promise I know I won’t keep. *** Stepping out into the early morning, the crisp spring air is refreshing, the smell of rain thick as I breathe deeply, savoring it. This has always been my favorite time of day, the hour just before sunrise. I walk briskly from the hospital, refusing to look back. I can’t look back, only forward. If I look back, it will just be another memory to haunt me later. I have too many of those as it is. Most people think it’s crazy to walk the streets this time of the morning, but most people aren’t like me. My nose twitches as I catch the scent of something other than the approaching rain. She found me. I start for my building; it’s only a few blocks from here. She can’t find me, not now. I look over my shoulder to see the woman marching into the hospital wrapped in a black trench coat, her red heels gleaming in the light of the hospital. s**t, she has found me, and it won’t be long until she gets my address. I make it to my apartment building just as the rain starts. Will I miss the hum of the city, or will I miss how easy it is to hide here? So many people wandering around, too busy to notice anyone. It’s like being invisible right in plain sight of so many. Things here go unnoticed and I was able to hide what I am. Moving to a smaller rural town is going to be different for sure. But she did find me, so maybe I stayed her too long, lulled into a false sense of safety. I don’t have time to waste. She will be on my trail before I know it if I stand here much longer. Good thing I lied about where I was going to the administrator. The only other person I told was Doctor Rodriguez, but I didn’t tell him the town’s name, so he should be safe enough. My mind flashes to what she would do to someone just to get a hint of where I might be. I only hope I didn’t reveal too much and put him in danger. I grab my bag. I had most of my things delivered to my new home ahead of time. I paid them well, so I hope they forget about me and where they delivered my things. Seeing her has my paranoia up. Why can’t they just let me go? I thought I had made it clear to them that I no longer wanted to be part of their world and life. I didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore. I have hundreds of lifetimes to make up for the sins that my family and I committed. I can’t let them find me. They will only drag me back and try and brainwash me again. It took me fifty years to run away the first time. I won’t let the last fifty of my freedom be in vain. Throwing the leather bag strap over my shoulder, I rush back down to the street. The sun would be up if it wasn’t hidden behind the gray clouds pouring rain down on the city. I hail the first cab I can and have the door open before the cab driver even stops the car. “Where you running to?” The driver asks as I slide in, slamming the door. “The airport. Who says I’m running away?” I ask, eyeing him from the corner of my eye as I turn to also look out the back window. “Mister, I have seen a lot of people, and you are running from something.” He chuckles. Let me guess. A woman?” I turn to see him peering at me, knowingly still smiling. “Yeah, you caught me. I’m running from a woman. A real bloodsucker, in fact.” Rubbing my temples and turning to watch as my building begins to fade from sight. My remark has the driver in stitches laughing. “Some really are, aren’t they.” He laughs, short of breath. “If you only knew.” Thirty agonizing minutes later, I boarded the plane fell into my seat, and exhaled. I take off my glasses. No, I don’t need them to see, but I find them helpful in blending in. I rub my eyes, completely overwhelmed and tired. That was too close. Thank God or whoever there is to thank in this case. I made it to the plane. Sitting back and closing my eyes, remembering to breathe, how did she even find me at all? The plane fills with the last of the passengers as the pilot makes his announcements. “Sir, I need you to fasten your seat belt.” The flight attendant says, smiling. I fasten it, and they move down the aisle, checking passengers. When the plane begins to move down the runway and climb into the sky, I watch out the window as the ground below fades from view. The rain had stopped, and the sun peaked its way threw the clouds. Here is to another fresh start, I think to myself, closing my eyes again and finally relaxing.