Tempted By Her Husband Twin

4.

Landon

Standing out here now, looking at Lana made my chest tight, but more so because of the beautiful kids I didn’t know my brother had before he died. Up until yesterday, I didn’t even know he died, and I went back to my hotel to cry my eyes out.

Now, standing in her hallway, I had to face the fire in her eyes. I could tell she hated me, because who wouldn’t. I must have brought up old memories she had been trying to forget.

I wasn’t even sure what she felt when one of her kids had called me Daddy, but I knew it was nothing but pain.

“You… you just show up here, out of nowhere?” she demanded, her voice sharp but trembling underneath. “How did you even find me? Why didn’t I know you existed? Why didn’t he ever say anything? And what are you doing here now?”

Her questions came like bullets, one after the other, not giving me time to breathe. I lifted a hand, trying to remind her to breathe, but I was telling myself too, to calm down the storm in my head. “Slow down,” I said softly, though my own voice didn’t feel grounded either. “One at a time, please.”

Her jaw clenched, but her eyes burned into me.

I let out a long breath. “First of all, I didn’t come here to hurt you. I didn’t even know about you until yesterday when you said his name in the restaurant. That was the first I knew Logan was married.” I paused, my throat tightening. “And the first I knew he was… gone.”

Her arms folded tight across her chest, like she was holding herself together. “And you expect me to believe that?”

“Yes,” I said firmly. “Because it’s the truth. After our parents died, I tried for years to reach him. Five years, Lana. Calls, letters, even showing up once at his old place. He never answered, never wrote to me or saw me. Eventually…” I swallowed, guilt biting into me again, “I stopped trying. I thought maybe he wanted a clean break from me. From our family.”

Her eyes softened just a fraction, but she didn’t let me off the hook. “So all this time, you didn’t know. You didn’t know about me. About them.”

My gaze flicked toward the stairs, where I could hear faint giggles and Raina’s voice trying to keep the boys entertained. My chest squeezed. “No,” I admitted, my voice rough. “I didn’t know. And if I had…” My words cut off, my throat thick. “If I had, I would’ve been here. I would’ve been in their lives. I swear that to you.”

Lana’s expression wavered, as if she was torn between anger and disbelief.

“I’m not him,” I added quietly, because I could feel her looking at me like I was a ghost she hadn’t invited in. “I don’t know why he kept me from you. Or why he didn’t tell you about me, but I’m here now. And I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to.”

I was hoping… no, praying though, that she didn’t tell me to, because that would be painful. If I didn’t know about Lana and the kids, it would have been easier to turn away, but certainly not now.

Besides, I wanted to hear about my brother, when and how he died, if he suffered, things like that. I wanted to get to know my nephews, and be in their lives to make up for the period I had missed. I wanted to…

“Come in.” She said, pulling me out of my thoughts. I sighed, relieved that she hadn’t turned me away. As we walked inside, with Lana in front of me, my eyes slipped to her butt, and I immediately cursed myself. Not only had I been thinking about her since I met her, thinking about her scent, and how she felt against me when I carried her to Roman’s office, but now, I was looking at places I shouldn’t?

That was terrible of me, really, and not something I should be caught doing at all.

I dragged my gaze back up instantly, guilt stabbing me square in the chest. “Jesus, Landon, get a grip.” I said to myself mentally.This woman just lost her husband; my own brother at that, and here I was acting like a damn teenager.

“Sit,” she said curtly, nodding toward the couch in the living room. Her tone was clipped, controlled, but I didn’t miss the way her hands shook slightly as she brushed her hair back.

I lowered myself onto the edge of the couch, leaning forward, elbows on my knees, trying to focus, but not on her, or on how alive she made this quiet little house feel right now, but on what mattered.

Lana sat across from me, arms still folded, eyes sharp as knives. “If you’re staying,” she said, licking her lips, something that did something to my blood, making them rush around me to places they shouldn’t. “you had better be ready to answer some hard questions. And I don’t mean about you, I mean about Logan. Because I don’t understand why he shut you out, why he never once told me you existed.”

I nodded, swallowing hard. “I don’t understand it either. But I’ll tell you everything I can. And… if you’ll let me, I want to hear everything about him. About the life he had here. About them.”

The sound of tiny feet thumping upstairs made me glance toward the ceiling, my chest tightening again. My nephews. My brother’s sons.

We sat there, looking at each other, well, I was looking at her but she was looking anywhere but at me, saying nothing. I cleared my throat and started to talk when I heard footsteps running down the stairs, then one of the boys, I wasn’t sure which one, came in holding a small photo album. “Mama, can I show this man Daddy’s photo?” He asked and he looked at me.

My heart clenched at the words… “this man” but I couldn’t blame him. It wasn’t as if he knew me.

“He’s your uncle, Rory.” Lana said, shooting me an apologetic look.

I gave her a small smile, as she nodded at the boy to do as he asked.

Rory walked forward, looking shyly, and I braced myself to the images of my brother I was going to see, even my heart clenching at the thought.